[Voodoo Dog]

You want a pointless random thought? Then I'll give you a pointless random thought! Concerning those stupid christmas movies jammed into this innocent child's head every Noel, that's what! Those stupid movies about Santai. That would be "Santa Claus" or "Father Christmas" to the non-mick. You poor ignorant bastards.

Anyway, in most of them I've seen, the parents don't believe in Santai(pronounced San-tee) at the start, while their children do. At the end of the movie, said parents are usually convinced that Santai does exist and realise the true meaning of christmas and become children at heart and shit like that. But what I want to know is THIS:

In the Universe these movies are set in, Santai clearly does exist. You usually see him in Lapland jerking off a bunch of Elves. But the parents are convinced he doesn't exist, despite a big pile of presents under the tree each year clearly marked "From Santai". Where the fuck do they think they come from? Perhaps both of them think the other bought the presents. But surely, sometimes the hideous truth must come out.

Ma: "Oh it was lovely of you to buy little Billy those rocket powered skates! He simply loves them! Aren't they a wee bit out of our budget range though?"

Da: "Why I didn't buy them! I thought YOU did!"

Ma: "But if I didn't but them...and you didn't buy them...then just who the fuck did buy them?"

Both: "WHAT IN THE NAME OF FUCK IS GOING ON?!?!?!?"

The fucks with that?!?!?

This post has been edited by Voodoo dog: 12 May 2005 - 05:35 PM

[Slade]

How can I get more permanent moxie? Seriously...

[BiggSpiffy]

pointless, random thought...Well one day i - i - i...no i dont have one

This post has been edited by BiggSpiffy: 12 May 2005 - 07:22 PM

[Voodoo Dog]

Try to fake an Irish accent. It always tugs the lassies heartstrings. Unless you happen to live in Ireland of course. Or unless you happen to be an ugly bespectacled loner who spends most of his life stuck in front of his computer, like me.

[Chyld]

How can I get more permanent moxie? Seriously...

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Well, there's always picking up a blood-faced volleyball as your familiar. Either that, or eating a shitload of moxie weed.

If you don't get what I'm on about, try checking the Games Room a bit harder...

[Slade]

I know what you're saying, I steal accordians for a living now. I need some more real-life moxie.

[Jane Sherwood]

Have any of you ever seen a man with a badger growing out of his head?

I think that would be kind of neat...

[Chyld]

Ah, there's many animals that would be hilarious as growths on just about any part of a human being. The irony of someone with a horse growing out of their arse...

EDIT: Doubly so if they didn't like riding, I suppose.

This post has been edited by Chyld: 13 May 2005 - 05:59 AM

[Slade]

I want a third arm to grow out of my forehead, just to be different.

[Voodoo Dog]

A man with a horse growing out of his arse? Some crazy greek fucker already beat ya to it Shy-uld, me old teapot. They're known as "centaurs". And they are complete BASTARDS in Harry Potter, I tell ye that. Although they seem to be all right in Age Of Mythology. But I'm just waiting for one of them to refuse to take orders, and its bitch-slappin' time muthafucka!

ADDITIONAL: There were foxy horse women in Fantasia too. Although, sadly, they didn't have nipples. Attempting to tone it down cos it's a kiddie flick right? WRONG! The evil bird women in that freaky Lord Satan thing at the end DID have nipples. The fuck? I'll tell you the fuck. It's Disney's blatant attempt to get kids to think sex is EVIL. Birdey nipple-women bad. Horsey nippleless-women good. Goddamn that aryan-supremacist right-winger Walt Disney! GODDAMN THAT ARYAN-SUPREMACIST RIGHT-WINGER WALT DISNEY TO HELL!

[Slade]

You make my chia pet sad.

[Chyld]

Not a man with a horses hindquarters, oh He-of-the-teatowelled-doggy-avatar, a man with a growth on his arse, and that growth is a fully, grown horse. See?

Zing.

[Slade]

Yarr... I don't know if I'm going out or not yet. I don't want to be stuck in my stupid dorm room alone and bored again, even though I'll prolly be bored going out. It's the end of the year and I can only find one guy (who's even dorkier and odder than me) who wants to even go out (not that it matters, except you'd think the non-dorks would be more inclined to parties). What happened to everybody? (Both in my dorm and on the forums.) More later when I get bored again and come back from not finding a party. But yay vodka!

[Voodoo Dog]

Vodka?!? VODKA?!?!? How can you drink vodka?!?!? To THINK most of my LIFE I have been DRINKING VODKA when I could have been SWALLOWING ACID!!!! Yay BLOTTERS!!! Yay LSD!!! LSD FOR ME IM HAPPY AS A FLEA LSD LCD YOU CAN SEE WHERE I BE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

dam tis mite b slitely of topic, buttttt mi kebord sems 2 hav jamed up. Do you now how i cn fix

Oh god. Oh god! OH GOD! MY FINGERS ARE BLEEDING! MY FINGERS ARE BLEEDING BLEEEEEEEEEEDING BLEEDING MY FING BLEEEEE

Zort.

Zort!

ZORT!

ZORT!

ZOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!

ALLLLL THE COLOURS OF THE BOW MAAAAAAAAAAN!!!!!!!!!!

YIPEE KIY AYYYY CHICKEN PLUCKERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LUCAY INNNN THE SKAY WIT DAYMUNDS MAAAAAAAAAHN!!!!!!!!!!!

ZZOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORT!!!!!!!!!!!

That is all.

[Slade]

Drugs are bad, mmmmmkay?

And you're a terrible liar.