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THE PT *FIXED* Clones that make sense, no droid army, no trade federation.

#1 User is offline   HK 47 Icon

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Posted 17 October 2008 - 05:23 AM

I was about to post in the Clone Wars animated thread but I felt (for once) that my rant might deserve its own thread this time.

To put it simply, I hate the clones. Awful, awful idea in every respect. Daddy Fett copies? What they should have done is this:

The Prequel Trilogy: The HK 47 way

The villains in the PT should have been Sith, all good and well. They are secretly building a huge army by capturing fringe worlds outside of republic jurisdiction. The weak are wiped out, and the strong are enslaved, and worse, used as clone templates. The clones derived from these base hosts are trained to be merciless troopers. So, we get several different types of clones, with some sort of personality intact. The hosts are later discarded. This would fit perfectly with the OTs Storm Troopers, weak-minded yet ruthless.

The Republic becomes aware of the situation (not fully though, it remains mostly a mystery) but cannot interfere directly. So they contact the mysterious Jedi Order (who does not by the way live in a tower on Coruscant but on one or several dangerous and untamed worlds brimming with the Force) to investigate. Instead of a rubbish trade route taxation plot, the PT opens as the Jedi infiltrate a giant slave vessel where they start to make their first discoveries concerning the clones. Shortly after that, a young Jedi called Obi-Wan saves a lost boy, who has been kept in slavery all his life, full of anger, but strong with the Force.

Consider some of these implications:
1. Clones make sense. They were always on the evil side. Stormtroopers ARE clones.
2. Anakins anger makes sense. His background should be horrible.
3. The Jedi would be considered mysterious and cool, not as stiff as a corporate board.
4. There would be more than two Sith.
5. The Republic would be losing real lives as they fight the clones.
6. No more droid army, no Trade Federation.
7. Jedi would feel force disturbance around clones since they're an unnatural lifeform and would therefore feel compelled to oppose them. Jedi = Life, Sith = Anti-Life

etc. etc. etc.

Ta-da! smile.gif

Episode I: Rise of the Sith

DEEP SPACE, ABOVE A SMALL PLANET

A dark, frightening vessel comes into view. It looks old and battleworn.

CLOSE ON DARK SHIP
Several smaller shuttles are docking with the large ship, arriving from the planet below. It looks as if battles have just taken place on the surface.

CUT TO INT. OF DARK SHIP

Slaves in tattered clothes are being herded by scary looking black armored troopers across wide iron bridges crossing vast depths. The setting is dark and foreboding. The troopers prod them with staves, forcing them into different cages along the route. The slaves are being treated very poorly.

CUT TO WOMAN WITH CHILD

A middle aged woman carrying a wounded girl is brutally struck to the ground by two slavers.

SLAVER 1: She's too weak, no use to us.

Slaves around the woman and child move away in fear.

ANGLE TO TWO MYSTERIOUS ROBED SLAVES STANDING IN THE BACK

The robed slaves look at each other, one of them seems alarmed. One tries to hold the other back.

SLAVER 2: Kill her, and the child.

CUT TO WOMANS FACE

The terrified woman covers the whimpering childs eyes and the blinks away the tears and closes her own. The slavers laugh and aim their blasters.

The audience hears the familiar sound of a lightsaber igniting followed by a blaster shots while flashes of bright blue light is reflected on the face of the woman. Two seconds later you hear the sound of a lightsaber being turned off. Silence follows. The camera hasn't left the womans face, and she carefully opens her eyes.

CUT TO ROBED STRANGER

His face remains in shadow as he puts his finger to his lips, urging the woman to remain quiet. The woman is still stunned and terrified.

CUT TO THIRD SLAVER

The robed stranger was spotted by a third guard, who immediately rushes toward the control platform to raise the alarm! The robed stranger sprints at an inhuman speed to reach the guard. The rest of the slaves take notice to catch a glimpse of the action. More guards rush in to stop the robed stranger. The stranger lets his robes fall, but we hardly even catch a glimpse of him, he's too fast! The awestruck slaves gape in amazement as multiple guards are struck down and blasterfire is deflected by the now unmasked Jedi!

CAMERA FOLLOWS THE JEDI IN ACTION

The young heroic Jedi is surrounded by several heavily armoured slavers and fights furiously to reach the alarm. The slaves cheer as he uses his Jedi powers to clear the guards hurling his lightsaber towards the remaining slaver. He is too late. As his lightsaber goes straight through the last slaver a pulsing alarm sounds, echoing throughout the ship. Several heavy iron doors slam shut.

CUT TO SECOND ROBED STRANGER

The other robed stranger removes her hood. Despite the excitement, this female Jedi remains perfectly calm and collected. She switches her comlink on.

FEMALE JEDI: Master Yoda? Our cover is blown.

COMLINK: *Sigh* Obi-Wan?

FEMALE JEDI: Who else?

CUT TO APPROACHING, GRINNING OBI-WAN

COMLINK: Move quickly you must, many more lives are now endangered.

FEMALE JEDI: Yes Master.


Notes:

The female Jedi is the opposite of Obi-Wan, the cool to his passion, but just as skilled. Later (Episode II) they fall in love during the clone wars. In episode III, she is slain by Darth Vader just before the famous duel. Should put some interesting pressure on Obi-Wan eh?

The Jedi will remain unaware of the Sith until the very end of Episode I. By then it's too late. The galaxy erupts in the Clone Wars in episode II. Obi-Wan has already begun to train Anakin, the Republic will need all the help it can get.

This post has been edited by HK 47: 17 October 2008 - 05:39 AM

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#2 User is offline   HK 47 Icon

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Posted 17 October 2008 - 08:28 AM

Also: There is no Naboo, no Amidala. The mother of Luke and Leia is an Alderaanian Royal, Organa family. Her relationship with Anakin would be a short but passionate affair, rather than the prolonged creepy “romance” we got to see. The Sith murder her of course, blaming the Jedi. If Anakin ever knew she bore his children, it would be assumed that they were killed as well. They would have been rescued by Obi-Wan (or maybe another Jedi) at the last moment.
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#3 User is offline   Mr Pye Icon

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Posted 17 October 2008 - 12:33 PM

Almost anything would have worked better than what we got. I'm glad you left out Qui-Gon, the root of many inconsistancies. But what the prequels need more than anything is a coherenet style. In the old trilogy the empire was black and white, and the alliance has earht colours. Uniforms and wardrobe were practical rather than fantastical, weapons looked like weapons and not like silvery toys, and everything looked like it belonged.

The prequels are to messy in style. The only thing they did better were aliens. But if that comes at the price of Gungans then no thanks.
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#4 User is offline   HK 47 Icon

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Posted 17 October 2008 - 06:27 PM

Yoda was Obi-Wans teacher, not Qui-Gon, there is no Qui-Gon. And yeah I totally agree about the design concepts, even though I don't consider them the biggest problem. The reason for my rant is that every time I'm reminded of how much the PT sucked, lately by watching a few clone wars episodes, I *need* to vent.

But do you really think the aliens were better? The two-headed Pod Race Announcer? The screaming, gay alien lizard mount? Dex the diner guy? The pig thing Anakin was riding on Naboo? The frikkin' pod racer contestants??? Should I go on? Really mr Pye... blink.gif smile.gif

This post has been edited by HK 47: 17 October 2008 - 06:32 PM

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#5 User is offline   Mr Pye Icon

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Posted 18 October 2008 - 04:39 AM

I'd forgotten about the diner guy, why did you have to go remind me of him.

The aliens in the old trilogy were a little limited. Usually humans with some kind of rubber mask or suit.

CGI allowed them to be a little more creative in the PT. For good and bad. I liked some of the ideas they tried out. Such as aliens walking on their arms or shapeshifters or even two headed aliens. (What annoys me about that one is that he looks so ridiculous with the long necks and talks in a way that takes you out of the fantasy and back to your own world.)

Unfortuately for all the interesting ideas they tried out they made two lame ones. Long thin necks seemed particualrly popular. Some of the beasts used for riding were very irritating in sound and appearance. Many of the aliens in the PT too might just as weell have been humans with rubber masks for all the alieness they didn't project.

And General Greivous I do not understand in the least.
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#6 User is offline   HK 47 Icon

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Posted 18 October 2008 - 09:42 AM

QUOTE (Mr Pye @ Oct 18 2008, 04:39 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I'd forgotten about the diner guy, why did you have to go remind me of him.


Oh I don't know, let's try a few more, the camel thing that farts at Jar-Jar just before the pod race. The Neimodians who lipsync like they're in an old Kung Fu movie. The Force resistant foreign car salesman Watto. Please note that I haven't even mentioned Gungans yet. Ooops, now I have...

QUOTE (Mr Pye @ Oct 18 2008, 04:39 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Many of the aliens in the PT too might just as weell have been humans with rubber masks for all the alieness they didn't project.


Exactly, the creatures in the OT cantina felt way more strange and alien. The PT aliens were blunt human stereotypes.

This post has been edited by HK 47: 18 October 2008 - 09:43 AM

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