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New Chinese Anti-Terror Vehicles. 02nd July 2008

#1 User is offline   barend Icon

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Posted 03 July 2008 - 08:35 PM

QUOTE
Wheel scary: Chinese anti-terror police practise killing drills on scooters

02nd July 2008

Chinese elite anti-terror police officers are wheeling into action ahead of next month's Beijing Olympics on two-wheeled scooters.

Members of the country's armed police unit practised on the Segway models that have been re-named 'Anti-Terror Assault Vehicles' in the eastern province of Shandong

Officials have bought 100 Segways and painted some in military camouflage to patrol airports and sporting venues during the Games.

In one drill, police posing as terrorists held ten badminton audience members hostage, 'shooting dead' four 'hijackers', capturing two and defusing a mock car bomb.

The exercise was to test the province's emergency response and involved 1,500 people.

The Segway was the brainchild of American Dean Kamen, who claimed at its 2001 launch that it would make the car obsolete in congested cities. It has since been the object of some derision, however.

The two-wheeled self-balancing machine - powered by an electric motor - allows users to travel as fast as 12.5mph while standing up.



article


Just HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!

They renamed them but they didn't modify them. They're squeezing their knees together to hold the shaft of the handle bars.

You can call fisher-price tricycles 'Hellspawn Rocket War Mechs' but they're still childrens toys.

Maybe they could mount a mini-gun on the front of those motorised buggies for shut-ins and call them 'Metal Dragonsbreath Doomslayer Tanks'
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#2 User is offline   J m HofMarN Icon

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Posted 03 July 2008 - 09:12 PM

Barend, I'd like to buy your hellspawn rocket warmechs. One hundred of them, as soon as possible.

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#3 User is offline   barend Icon

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Posted 03 July 2008 - 09:44 PM

I will supply them to your country at super low rate of US$6.5million per unit. And seeing as it's Americas birthday I will even arm them with super-soake... er.. 'Hydrophaser Cannons' at no extra charge

This post has been edited by barend: 03 July 2008 - 09:45 PM

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Posted 04 July 2008 - 02:48 AM

Upon first reading the headline I thought they had scooters with drills on the front or something, in order to ram into terrorists and eviscerate them with their 'killing drills'.


Also, how the hell do you camouflage a Segway? What purpose does that serve?
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Posted 04 July 2008 - 09:16 AM

It is clearly meant to terrify people being pursued by Segway riders through heavily wooded forests. "Oh crap, the police can levitate faster than walking speed now!" I'd be frightened.

And the world never ceases to provide at least one utterly ridiculous new thing each week. I laugh and sigh at the same time.
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Posted 04 July 2008 - 03:13 PM

It's shock and awe at it's most potent. Admit it, if you were a terrorist holding someone hostage and 12 heavily armed jet black segways came storming up to you you'd pause (just long enough to get shot in the head). You may laugh but it's ingenious I tell you! INGENIOUS! tongue.gif
QUOTE (arien @ Jun 29 2008, 03:34 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
So this baby, while still inside its mother, murdered his twin brother and STOLE HIS PENIS.

That is one badass baby.

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Posted 07 July 2008 - 08:23 AM

It's nice that China now has more money than it knows what to do with.
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#8 User is offline   Chyld Icon

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Posted 07 July 2008 - 09:05 AM

Looked at title: "Oh dear".

Reading article: "Nice to see China following American and buying useless crap to catch a non-existant enem..."

Looked at picture: *collapses in a fit of giggles*

They seriously look like toy soldiars: Super Idiot Lazy Squad! Move about as fast as walking, and have several thousand dollars worth of calculating equipment that could be made redundant by another wheel!
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Posted 10 July 2008 - 02:24 AM

To me they rather look like they need to go wee, and are just holding it in til they can figure out how to get off of their anti terror assault bat mobiles.

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Posted 10 July 2008 - 04:50 PM

Perhaps the exact name was lost in translation... maybe this is why so many Asian countries are called the “Democratic Republic” or “People‘s Republic” when they are neither.

QUOTE (Slade @ Jul 5 2008, 12:16 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
It is clearly meant to terrify people being pursued by Segway riders through heavily wooded forests. "Oh crap, the police can levitate faster than walking speed now!" I'd be frightened.


LMAO.
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Posted 11 July 2008 - 02:42 PM

Sigh.

Sometimes the news just makes fun of itself.
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