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Water Bottle, The Perfect, For Me! Tuesday, June 24, 2008

#1 User is offline   Chefelf Icon

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Posted 24 June 2008 - 08:47 AM

Water Bottle, The Perfect, For Me!

I'm gearing up for a big bike ride in a few weeks. This ride would have been fairly average for me a few years ago but now, being out of practice, it will be a good challenge. A few years ago, when I worked roughly 4 hours a week, somehow it seemed easier to ride over 100 miles a week. These days, what with a steady job and all, it's difficult to ride over 100 miles a summer. However, then I had to eat $1.19/lb bologna sandwiches for dinner and these days I'm able to enjoy a slightly more elegant lifestyle which includes non-canned foods and the ability to occasionally buy things that I want. A fair trade off I suppose.

My bike needs a bit of a tuneup, I need to get some new tires, tubes and some of the general kind of maintenance that I trust only to a professional. I have neither the desire nor the ability to tweak my bike in order to make it safe. I'm always afraid when I do general maintenance that I will mess up and my wheels will fall off when I'm going 30 miles per hour down a steep hill. Even if said adjustments are only made to the cage that holds my water bottles.

Speaking of water bottles, I need new ones. So I went on to Amazon to search for some appropriate bottles when I found what seemed to be the perfect water bottle, The Elite Higene Water Bottle.

When I read the product description I was not convinced as to whether this was the perfect water bottle for me, however, I was convinced that it had been poorly translated from an undetermined foreign language, most likely by an online translator such as Babel Fish. Here's how it reads:

Product Description
ELITE HIGENE: Against bacteria and unpleasant smells New bottle with transparent special material that allows the liquid not to assume bad smells .Characterized from a standard diameter (74 mm), the bottle can be used on all the standard bottlecages .In proximity of the cap, the body of bottle turns in a smaller diameter and introduces a series of furrows with the scope to facilitate the grip and the entertainment of the bottle also in extreme conditions .The presence of a ring in plastic material to the advanced end of the grip, helps the rider in the moment of the extraction to having one taken easy and sure of the bottle also when weighted down from the contained liquid .The cap is particularly adapted for the use in a sport context with three functions:Push - pull valve in soft rubber for easy opening and the closing during the race .The flip - top opening allows to use the bottle also with particularly dense drinks .The cap can be unscrewed for an easy cleaning and an express filling of the bottle . All used materials are regularly tested and certified, according to the regulations of the EEC and FDA standards valid for materials, which come in contact with food . 500ml

Just for fun I translated that text to French, then to German, then back into English and here's what I got:

ÉLITE HIGENE: Contre of les bactéries et bouteille d' odeurs désagréables la nouvelle avec le matériel spécial transparency qui permet outer liquid de ne pas more assumer de mauvaises odeurs. Caractérisé d' un diamètre standard (74 millimètres), la bouteille peut être utilisée sur tous les bottlecages standard. Dans la proximité you chapeau, le corps de la bouteille tourne EN plus petit diamètre et présente une série de sillons avec la portée pour more faciliter la poignée et le divertissement de la bouteille également EN conditions of extrêmes. La présence d' un anneau EN matière plastique à l' extrémité avancée de la poignée, aides le more cavalier dans le moment de l' extraction à avoir un facile pris et sûr de la bouteille aussi une fois pesé verse le bas you liquid contenu. Le chapeau est EN more particulier adapté pour l' usage dans un contexte de sport avec trois fonctions: Valve va-et-vient EN caoutchouc mou pour facilement ouvrable et la fermeture counterpart la course. La chiquenaude - l' ouverture supérieure laisse more utiliser la bouteille également avec les boissons particulièrement denses. Le chapeau peut être dévissé pour un nettoyage facile et un remplissage exprès de la bouteille. Tous of les matériaux utilisés sont vérifiés régulièrement et certifiés, selon les règlements the normes de la CEE et de FDA of valides pour les matériaux, qui contactent la nourriture. 500ml


Well, I was convinced. I ordered two!

Happy water bottle for me enjoy the hat! Further next?
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Posted 24 June 2008 - 02:28 PM

Really? French, then German, then back to English, and the bulk of it remained in French?

Lousy online language tools.
"I had a lot of different ideas. At one point, Luke, Leia and Ben were all going to be little people, and we did screen tests to see if we could do that." -George Lucas, in STAR WARS: the Annotated Screenplays (p197).

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Posted 26 June 2008 - 03:22 PM

Am I the only person here who thought parts of that sounded vaguely like badly written erotic fiction?

"helps the rider in the moment of the extraction to having one taken easy"

"Push - pull valve in soft rubber for easy opening"

Perhaps it's just me. tongue.gif
QUOTE (arien @ Jun 29 2008, 03:34 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
So this baby, while still inside its mother, murdered his twin brother and STOLE HIS PENIS.

That is one badass baby.


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