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The Subway Is Not Your Office! Wednesday, May 21, 2008

#1 User is offline   Chefelf Icon

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Posted 21 May 2008 - 06:39 PM

The Subway Is Not Your Office!

Today I got on a crowded 1 Train to return home after a work-related trip. There was a man sitting in seat and sketching frantically. He seemed to be sketching a portrait of a man that looked like the dad from The Brak Show. I squeezed my way through the train and stood in the only spot left on the train in front of this artist. I noticed he kept looking up past me at the guy standing near the door. It looked like he was drawing a picture of the guy sitting there except that that guy did not look anything like Brak's father. In fact, he had a full gray beard and was wearing a baseball cap.

After a few minutes I felt someone tapping my elbow. I looked over and saw the grungy looking artist looking, angrily at me. I looked down at him and did not move. The reason I did not move was twofold: 1) the subway car was packed and there was nowhere for me to move to, and 2) I hated this jerk. I instantly hate anyone on the subway who decides to use the space as their own personal office or workshop.

You have the knitters who have a giant paper bag of yarn and are knitting a scarf for a loved one.

You have the laptop guys who think it's appropriate to set up their laptop and work on work emails or spreadsheets as if this were a commuter train where there were no standing passengers.

You have the people who think it's okay to move the components for a queen-sized bed using the MTA subway system during rush hour.

You have the people who bring a bicycle onto the subway during peak hours who don't seem to know that it's inappropriate to bring a form of transportation on another form of transportation when there is barely room to stand.

The list goes on and on.

There are only two things you should be allowed to do if you want to observe proper subway etiquette: 1) Listen to headphones, and 2) read a book, magazine, or sufficiently folded newspaper.

After a couple more seconds, this jerk tapped me again. I reluctantly stepped about a quarter of an inch to my right. This only made him more angry and he tapped me again and gestured that he was trying to draw this guy sitting in front of me. At no point did he use any sort of verbal language or use words such as "please" to make his case. After the fourth time he gestured for me to move I finally responded, "I can't move. There is nowhere else to stand." Sadly, I did not add, "That is a lousy rendering of this guy! He's not a Latino man from the 50's! Why do you need me to move when what you are drawing is so clearly just your memory of the dad from The Brak Show?"

Eventually the train stopped at 42nd street, the man being sketched got up and the train emptied a little. The man spoke briefly with the artist who seemed to surrender his sketch. For the next 17 blocks the artist glowered at me with a hatred I have seldom felt in a stare. He didn't take his eyes off of me the entire ride. I'm pretty sure I felt a burning sensation on my cheek from some sort of telekinetic energy that may have been generated from his dark beady eyes.

I got off at 59th street and transferred, semi-necessarily, to the A Train.

Oh yeah, and he was dressed like Fidel Castro.

And he was a lousy artist.

And I hate him.
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#2 User is offline   David-kyo Icon

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Posted 21 May 2008 - 07:06 PM

You should have given him the criticism you wrote indeed. I hate cunts like this, but the ones I absolutely can't stand are the teenagers who ninja all the seats from the elderly people and then put on this really self-satisfied exp​ression that just begs me to stomp the shit out of their owner.

This post has been edited by David-kyo: 21 May 2008 - 07:07 PM

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#3 User is offline   Heccubus Icon

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Posted 21 May 2008 - 10:02 PM

Dear normal, everyday people:

You are not Fidel Castro. Take off that stupid hat.

Was he also wearing a kaffiyeh? I bet if he wasn't, he has like, ten at home to coordinate with all of his other "I wear it without having a fucking clue as to what it stands for" garb.

This post has been edited by Heccubus: 21 May 2008 - 10:04 PM

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#4 User is offline   Chefelf Icon

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Posted 22 May 2008 - 06:56 AM

QUOTE (Heccubus @ May 21 2008, 11:02 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Dear normal, everyday people:

You are not Fidel Castro. Take off that stupid hat.


Not to defend this guy but I think he was old enough to have personally known Fidel Castro. So the look may have been authentic.

Still, what an asshole.

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Posted 22 May 2008 - 09:52 AM

Crowded public transport, how I hate you so.
"I felt insulted until I realized that the people trying to mock me were the same intellectual titans who claimed that people would be thrown out of skyscrapers and feudalism would be re-institutionalized if service cartels don't keep getting political favors and regulations are cut down to only a few thousand pages worth, that being able to take a walk in the park is worth driving your nation's economy into the ground, that sexual orientation is a choice that can be changed at a whim, that problems caused by having institutions can be solved by introducing more institutions or strengthening the existing ones that are causing the problems, and many more profound pearls of wisdom. I no longer feel insulted because I now feel grateful for being alive and witnessing such deep conclusions from my fellows."
-Jimmy McTavern, 1938.
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