2 Bangs, 1 Buck and a Jack (or, Why I Hate That Guy In My Dream) Friday, May 2, 2008
Posted 02 May 2008 - 02:31 PM
Last night I had a bizarre dream, perhaps induced by the fever I had for the past twenty-four hours. In the dream I was in Massachusetts, driving through the Town of Bellingham. I realized that I'd never before noticed there was an A-Train stop right by the exit to Interstate 495. I'd been mistaken in thinking for all these years that Far Rockaway was the last stop on that line! For reasons unknown I decided to park my car and take the subway home from that stop instead of driving back to New York.
When I got in the Subway I got into the subway car that was actually a furnished basement with carpeting, bean bag chairs, wood-paneled walls, and all the other things one would expect to find in a furnished basement from the early 80's.
I asked the guy manning the subway basement-car how much the fair would be. He said, "2 Bangs, 1 Buck and a Jack."
I turned this over in my mind for a few moments. I had no idea what this guy was talking about but, at the same time, I didn't want to seem stupid or uncool so I just sort of nodded my head. After a few more seconds I said, "Okay, so about how much would that be?"
"You know, $7.50," he responded.
$7.50? I quickly ran through what this would mean in my mind and there was really no other explanation. A "Bang" would have to be a one dollar bill. A "Buck" would be a five dollar bill (instead of the one dollar bill it normally refers to). And a "Jack" would be $1.50. This got me angry. As the guy left the car and other passengers began entering I began loudly ridiculing his crappy system for nicknaming money. Who does that? He used seven syllables to say something he could have said with four: "Seven-Fifty."
Seriously, what an asshole.
Posted 02 May 2008 - 03:26 PM
-Jimmy McTavern, 1938.
Posted 02 May 2008 - 03:44 PM
Yes. And that may just be the worst part.
Posted 02 May 2008 - 06:27 PM
Posted 04 May 2008 - 12:06 AM
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Posted 07 May 2008 - 10:39 PM