Chefelf.com Night Life: So how do you know if its really over - Chefelf.com Night Life

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So how do you know if its really over falling out of love is a bitch....

#16 User is offline   barend Icon

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Posted 05 May 2004 - 09:18 PM

yeah, I'm afraid there's no good news here...

she jerking you around, because she wants to leave but is affraid of confrontation and awkwardness... she's an irrisponsible coward, who refuses to clean up the mess she's making of someone else life!!!

this girl, no matter how you feel about her, does not deserve your time!
DO NOT GIVE IT TO HER!!!!!!!! If she calls you let her say what she wants, but DO NOT CALL HER ANNYMORE! I've seen this a thousand times...

i'm really sorry, this really sucks and is going to hurt for quite a while...
but not forever.

I've really come to believe that women have absolutley no regard for the emotions of men. -well a majority of them annyway.

(not you LTTS if you're listening, your pure loveliness wub.gif)

in short:
LET HER GO, STEP BACK. you get stabed with a knife you pull it out, don't drag it along... you're only damaging yourself...

aside from that, welcome to forum!!! smile.gif
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#17 User is offline   Heccubus Icon

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Posted 05 May 2004 - 09:42 PM

I've been through the cowardly breakup. She sent me an email. Nice show! *grumbles grudgingly* Anyway, that may be the cause for being angry. Best advice: just give up and find a project to occupy your mind.

Jordan: Sorry, the way you worded it made it sound as though you wanted the poor guy to just go "Well I don't love you anymore neither! So nyahh-nyahh-nyahh! *thumbs nose, runs away*".
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#18 User is offline   Jordan Icon

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Posted 05 May 2004 - 09:48 PM

QUOTE
I appreciate all the advice. Unfortunately, you guys might be right; it's pretty much over. I've called her all day, left text messages....not one damn reply. I know she doesnt care anymore. And I want to be sad and depressed, but something is keeping me from feeling that way. It's not pride, it's something else, I can't explain. If anything I'm more angry than saddened. Why?


I don't think you read what I put earlier. Burn out! Don't fade away as some love struck shmuck. Get the ball back in your court, you will kick yourself in a couple weeks when you realize you spilled your heart to her and tried and tired to get her back.
Oh SMEG. What the smeggity smegs has smeggins done? He smeggin killed me. - Lister of Smeg, space bum
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#19 User is offline   Despondent Icon

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Posted 05 May 2004 - 11:39 PM

Yeah, then before you know it; you'll only be thinking about her every *other* minute. but before too long hopefully, it's every fourth minute.

then you talk to her and start thinking about her every minute again. Grrrr. :angry:
I liked the knife comment. pull it out and set it down.

scars heal; and become stronger than skin itself.
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#20 User is offline   Reader Icon

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Posted 06 May 2004 - 03:28 AM

Love is dumb. And i ain't talkin' "dumb in a wonderful way"... just plain mentally retarded.

huh? what?

This post has been edited by Reader: 06 May 2004 - 03:29 AM

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#21 User is offline   civilian_number_two Icon

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Posted 06 May 2004 - 05:49 AM

QUOTE (Hurting Like Hell @ May 5 2004, 09:41 AM)
Then she tells me that she doesnt know about me anymore....I ask what that meant, she said it means that she doesnt know if she loves me or not. I asked her to tell me the truth, if anything happened down there that I should know about, no matter how much it hurts me, and she swears nothing happened.

...

QUOTE
And you would think after all that, I could at least get some closure. A phone call. A letter. Shit! SOMETHING!


"Dear John,

I met someone else and I like fucking him. Fuck off."


That was no fun. I hated writing it, I wil catch hell for it, and I doubt you liked reading it.


Do you really think there is a nice way she could put it that would not sound, to you, like she had said exactly what I have written above? If you don't, then grab some chalk and mark it up to being 22 and still immature enough to believe you have found the one person on the entire planet who is right for you.

You're done writing her, and no way should you phone her. Nothing you can say will make her want you right now. She knows what she's missing, and what she's missing is not the guy who wants a girl even after she dumped him, the guy who was all solid and dependable and shit when she was on the rocks. That's the guy she got bored of, because she's 19. The guy she's missing is the confident funny guy she met when she was 17, and there is not one god damned thing (sorry folks) that you can do to bring that guy back.

There is not one g-d thing you can do. You can't be all cool and wait for her to call. You can't discreetly send messages through her friends. You can't even date other people and act like it's ove, figuring she'll get jealous or mopey and come back. You definitely can't keep sending her text messages and emails and phone calls telling her "it's cool baby just come one back." You will turn into an annoying creep if you do that, and you will turn into an annoying resentful creep if she actually comes back, because you'll realize then and there just what you let her do, and how much easier it is for her to cheat on you than it is for you to cheat on her.

This one's over. Take some time off, be hurt, lament your loss and pray the right girl doesn't come along so soon you don't even notice her. Because trust me, there's another girl; there are probably three more girls before you settle on the one you stay with, even if you are a monogamist, which apparently you are.

Grab the chalk.

PS: kudos to Barend and Heccubus for the tough love, props to Jordan for the soul-searching revelations, and BOO to Chef for being part of the problem. Sorry Chef: I love you, but not right now.
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#22 User is offline   Despondent Icon

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Posted 06 May 2004 - 08:35 AM

(Now here's a guy with the right attitude.)

Look at the fun you're missing out on!




a funny link re: above
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#23 User is offline   Chefelf Icon

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Posted 06 May 2004 - 03:07 PM

QUOTE (civilian_number_two @ May 6 2004, 05:49 AM)
PS: kudos to Barend and Heccubus for the tough love, props to Jordan for the soul-searching revelations, and BOO to Chef for being part of the problem. Sorry Chef: I love you, but not right now.

Part of the problem? What did I do? blink.gif
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#24 User is offline   civilian_number_two Icon

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Posted 06 May 2004 - 04:23 PM

QUOTE (Chefelf @ May 6 2004, 03:07 PM)
Part of the problem? What did I do? blink.gif

Nothing serious Chef. We'll get through this:

QUOTE
You're just going to have to talk to her and express your concerns. Maybe the two of you are growing apart more than you realize. Maybe it's all in your head.
You won't really know until you have a serious talk with her. At the very least she owes it to you to be up front with you about her feelings and where she sees this relationship going.
I hope everything works out for you.


"I think you should keep texting and phoning her at all hours until she complains to the other guy avout her 'creepy ex boyfriend' or at least has enough to convince herself she's actually being stalked. That way she can have a 'serious' talk with you about what you're putting her through."

Don't listen to the Chef, boy; he's an enabler. Listen to the robot and the servant of evil:

it's over.
"I had a lot of different ideas. At one point, Luke, Leia and Ben were all going to be little people, and we did screen tests to see if we could do that." -George Lucas, in STAR WARS: the Annotated Screenplays (p197).
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#25 User is offline   Chefelf Icon

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Posted 06 May 2004 - 06:34 PM

QUOTE (civilian_number_two @ May 6 2004, 04:23 PM)
"I think you should keep texting and phoning her at all hours until she complains to the other guy avout her 'creepy ex boyfriend' or at least has enough to convince herself she's actually being stalked. That way she can have a 'serious' talk with you about what you're putting her through."

That's an interesting interpretation of what I said. I, however, just think he should talk to her. There's no reason to just write it off with nothing said. I don't think he should turn into a pseudo-stalker, I just think that it's a good idea for them to talk through it, find out what page they are both on and at least establish some sense of closure.
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#26 Guest_Guest_*

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Posted 06 May 2004 - 07:01 PM

She wont even give me that. I've called for 2 days now.....not one reply. Fucked up.
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#27 User is offline   Chefelf Icon

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Posted 06 May 2004 - 07:10 PM

Well perhaps this is just her way of ending it. It's not fair to you but perhaps it is time to move on. If she won't even return your calls maybe she's too scared to face you or talk about the subject.
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#28 User is offline   Amber-Nicole Icon

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Post icon  Posted 06 May 2004 - 09:02 PM

I've come to discover that it's human nature to hurt eachother. Sometimes we hold happiness in the palm of our hand, we've finally reached our goal. But then, there's no new goal for happiness, so I guess we just get bored. I'm saying this about both men and women. So we find something wrong, a way to destroy that happiness, just so that we can feel a new emotion, and have the goal of rebuilding love and happiness all over again. Things will get better. You reached your goal, now it's time to feel the emotional sadness, and then start all over again. Life would be boring and dull if things didn't work this way. Not very comforting, is it? Well, I tried. wink.gif
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#29 Guest_Hurting Like Hell_*

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Posted 06 May 2004 - 09:31 PM

Okay yall, here's an update. Tell me what you think.

last night i left a letter at her job so she could read it when she got in this morning. basically telling her goodbye, i cant do this no more, and i feel like she dont care no more so I have to leave her alone until she changes. so anyways, she calls me at around 8:30am this morning. i hang up because i didnt wanna talk to her.....i was still enraged at how she's been treating me.

so she leaves a voicemail, talkin about "why are you blaming me for all this stuff? are you gonna leave me for good? you're trying to make me look like I'm the bad person when i didnt do anything wrong. you're always on my back thats why i ignore you. so whatever"



laugh.gif this bitch...im always on her back, because im asking her for a fucking phone call?? it blows my mind that she tries to turn shit around and make ME look like the bad guy! i couldnt believe it. talkn about are you gonna leave me for good...of course because YOU'RE FORCING ME TO! all i asked for was a phone call...or a text message. shit man. just 2 minutes of your time! christ that's not much to ask of someone is it? So i left her a voicemail on her phone though, and i told her she had some nerve tryin to blame me for everything thats happening when I'm the one who's trying to open up lines of communication and she isnt doing a damn thing! and i told her if you really care, you'll call me back after you get this voicemail. and i hung up....

that was at 6pm. Its' now 10:30pm. Not a peep.

So let me ask you guys...you think she's trying to justify her bitchy attitude by putting the blame on me? like, she knows she's being an asshole but she doesnt wanna admit to her self? do you think she knows inside she's lying to herself but she's hoping reverse psychology will make her feel better? Thanks.
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#30 User is offline   barend Icon

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Posted 06 May 2004 - 10:10 PM

morals and justifications?
I don't know if it really matters...

the important thing is she's taken you to depths of despair and now she's trying to make you feel worse...

of course she want's to look like the goodguy...

if you do talk to her, tell her your emotions are not toys for her amusment. that you deserve better tretment. she's left it all erroneous, but it seems pretty clear...

this is the point were this kind of girl will come back to you to "try to make it work" because she's frightened that you'll be able to say you dumped her, and she doesn't want that. TRUST ME and any 'make up' crap at this point is just to lure you in for the deathblow. (this whole situation is my second last girlfiriend to nth degree).

sorry, but that's what'll happen. just walk away with some dignity while you can.

----------------------------------------------------------------

regarding the girl thing, i forgot about amber-nicole, she's a nice girl too.

oh, and CHEFELF, no offense but I agree with me on this one. and the others, it's alright for you to talk shit over, because you can real them back in with fancy cooking... so it's a different story for you....
we're not all elven chefs, some of us are just evil masterminds.

This post has been edited by barend: 06 May 2004 - 11:57 PM

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