[Despondent]

You came HERE, to discuss THIS? (who are you, really?)

good luck. my advice is to go out and have fun. If you've been thinking about dating around, go for it. You're young and ought to make the most of your youth. If she's been seeing someone else, she won't have a problem with it. If she's not seeing someone else, you may become more attractive to her. At any rate, Enjoy life the best you can. I've learned one thing, just because folks get in the habit of saying I love you all the time, it doesn't mean the expressed emotion is true. On either end of the exp​ression.

once heard it put you need to kiss a lot of girls to realize what it is you want. this just may be your opportunity.

(Mercy, I feel strange discussing this topic. back to familiar turf:)

I loved Star Wars for years but I can't say that anymore. things change.

[Despondent]

I know, I've been there. And I've been there and back again. It can get pretty crucial, alright. best wishes.

[WalrusOfPlastic]

If this is real, then I'm sorry, and if it isn't real... well than I'm still sorry.

That being said, I might suggest leaving voice messages over text messages. Text messages are pointless.

Good luck.

(Also, are you trying to be someone she would love or are you being openly you and in love with her? I would suggest the second one.)

[Jordan]

You came HERE, to discuss THIS? (who are you, really?)

lol!


I'm sure we could only give you the worst advice. My diagnostic: Go watch Starwars, and come back here and complain bitterly about it with us. Not only will it relieve tension, but it will also make you a *better person*.



*by that, I mean you'd be dragged down to our level.

[Heccubus]

First of all, how old are you? If you're any younger than 20, just get over it.

[Chefelf]

From personal experience, and experience of my friends the whole 17-21 age is a very difficult age for relationships. Even if both people are the same age it's just a time in life where there are so many changes going on in life that it is difficult for a lot of relationships to survive the adjustment.

You're just going to have to talk to her and express your concerns. Maybe the two of you are growing apart more than you realize. Maybe it's all in your head.

You won't really know until you have a serious talk with her. At the very least she owes it to you to be up front with you about her feelings and where she sees this relationship going.

I hope everything works out for you.

[Heccubus]

Im gonna be 23 in 1 week.

Well then I'd agree with Chefelf on this one. Talk and see what results from it.

[Jordan]

In the past 2 months, she's had difficulty finding time to call me, let me know how she feels, and hangs out with her friends more than me. Meanwhile, I on the other hand have been fighting tooth and nail to show how much I care for her and love her, I have never cheated or even considered leaving her for another woman. It also seems the only time she tells me she loves me is when I say it to her first. When she does say it, it feels more like its out of obligation rather than from the heart. Just last week, she told me she loved me and I had to know that, so I took that as a good sign and I thought things were going to get better.

It's over. If she loved you then she would not jerk you around, oh wait, yes she would.

My last girlfriend told me she loved me too, and told me that she would always love me, even though their was slim chance of ever getting back together.

She also gave you every single sign in the book. She even told you she "loves you out of obligation" this with the dudes number, never calling you....etc

Things are not going to get better, they are going to get worse, then you will find someone else, and then things will get better.

I had the same mind set as you did. "I have a feeling we will get back together" Never happened, and we dated for 3 years. The flame went out. The zest is gone. She is bored and wants something new. Complimenting her and telling her you love her at this point will only hurt you more. You are in the palm of her hand. She knows she does not have to to work to get you, she has you. But she does not want you, she wants a new guy...unfortunatley. By giving her your sob story, you are only re-iterating the fact that you are smitten by her. She can now weigh her options. She has you in one corner (sure bet) and other guys in other corners (not so sure bet)

I was jerked around for 3 months. It hurt like hell, I hated her, her family, and all Asian women (she was Korean), and at one pointed I hated everything Asian simply cause it reminded me of her.

If you are going to leave, leave with a bang. Tell her you don't love her and really don't care if she met someone else.

This will have 2 positive buffs
1) If she feels the same way, she will probably tell you, you get the honesty
2) She might start to like you again, she now realises that SHE lost you.

Deliver the statement in any form (letter email phone....etc) Don't be rude though, just be or at least try to sound honest.


That is my two cents, I don't think talking about it at this point will be productive. She made up her mind, now make up yours on how you want to end it for FINAL.

Champions go out in a bang, suckers fade away. It's not what you wanted to hear, it's what you needed to hear. Trust me it's over. And if for some reason she comes back cause she realizes you are the only man for her...... perhaps. But I would not bet on it.

Hope I was helpful

This post has been edited by Jordan: 05 May 2004 - 08:08 PM

[Heccubus]

If you are going to leave, leave with a bang. Tell her you don't love her and really don't care if she met someone else.

Yeah, be sure to be mature about it.

[Jordan]

That can be mature

" I just wanted to say no hard feelings, I realize now that I don't love you as much as I used to, and think it's best that we go our seperate ways, good luck with the new guy"