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Zero Punctuation Devil May Cry 4

#16 User is offline   Casual Icon

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Posted 06 March 2008 - 05:47 AM

QUOTE (Gobbler @ Mar 6 2008, 02:22 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Uh~oh, anime related quarrel inbound. Deploying counter-measure:

Click on this link.



So maybe I do overreact a little, but you can never be too sure.


I canít believe I was dumb enough to click that link now I look like a paedophile in the middle of a computer lab. dry.gif

Anyway I have to say that was one of my favourite reviews so far Yahtzee seems to have got back his knack for questionable metaphors.

QUOTE (arien @ Jun 29 2008, 03:34 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
So this baby, while still inside its mother, murdered his twin brother and STOLE HIS PENIS.

That is one badass baby.

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#17 User is offline   Jenx Icon

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Posted 06 March 2008 - 07:51 AM

Lucky Star's opening can be strangely addictive. So be careful with it.


QUOTE (Ninja Duck @ Jan 15 2008, 05:45 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
And the film should be shot in sepia, because real life was in sepia in the 1990s.
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Posted 06 March 2008 - 08:03 AM

Can't. stop. watching... Must. look. away... The horror, the horror. blink.gif

*bang*
QUOTE (arien @ Jun 29 2008, 03:34 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
So this baby, while still inside its mother, murdered his twin brother and STOLE HIS PENIS.

That is one badass baby.

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#19 User is offline   Game Over Icon

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Posted 06 March 2008 - 12:14 PM

QUOTE (Otal Nimrodi @ Mar 5 2008, 11:36 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
But if there's no Hentai, how am I going to greet people online?

(I occasionally use "Speaking of tentacle rape...")


I suggest you convert to the church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Ramen.
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#20 User is offline   joshofalltrades Icon

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Posted 06 March 2008 - 01:21 PM

My favorite part was when Yahtzee said that you're bound to at least like a little bit of anime because you're bombarded with so much of the crap that at least one thing will be all right.

My first experience with the stuff was Cowboy Bebop, which was actually pretty cool, so I decided to check out some more. The result was a burning desire to slowly cattle prod the entire Japanese population, roughly ten at a time, into the bottom of an elevator shaft and slowly lower the elevator.

Then I played the Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney games and my hatred balanced itself out a bit.
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#21 User is offline   Game Over Icon

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Posted 06 March 2008 - 04:21 PM

QUOTE (joshofalltrades @ Mar 6 2008, 06:21 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Then I played the Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney games and my hatred balanced itself out a bit.


QUOTE
Just like all games worshipped by the wapanese, Phoenix Wright has a cast of characters that have become Internet celebrities. These characters include:

Phoenix Wright
Phoenix is a spiky-haired ex-raver who wandered into law school one day while he was high and decided to stick around. Then he murdered Mia Fey's boyfriend, or something like that. Needs kids and dead people to help him solve the most obvious of cases. He is not a real attorney, as he doesn't even know how to check his own fucking pockets for evidence prior to the start of the game. He is known for obnoxiously shouting "OBJECTION!" while childishly pointing at the prosecution before being embarrassingly shut down by every character in the courtroom. He's also gay for Miles and anyone else if you think about it long enough. Has a stepladder fetish. In the 4th (or 5th, it doesn't matter at this point) game, he becomes a hobo with a snow hat that truly reveals his hidden homosexuality.

The Judge
A geriatric brainless clueless dickless bag of horse testicles. Needs everything explained to him over 9000 times before he understands what's going on, then still doesn't know exactly what it means. Naturally he's biased towards the prosecution, as all good judges are, and basically wails on you with legalese whenever you fuck up (read: all the time).

He also has a somehow Canadian brother, but he doesn't show up until the third game.


Mia Fey
Phoenix's dominatrix sex master. Tells him exactly what to do and literally commands his every action early in the game. When she dies, Phoenix is completely lost and has no idea what the fuck he is supposed to do in a courtroom. Her reappearance as main character in 3-1 and 3-4 give gamers a healthy dose of anime cleavage. Good work, Capcom!

Maya Fey
Mia Fey's younger sister. Since she is a spirit medium, her older sister contacts her from beyond the grave and informs her of Phoenix's utter incompetence, then tells her to go tell him what to do until he stops being a pussy and can make his own decisions again. Its harder than it sounds - Maya channels Mia in almost every case afterwards. She also has a bulging erection for the Steel Samurai and his Zero-Wing motto "For great justice".

Pearl Fey
Pearls has to be one of the only people on the face of the planet to not realise Phoenix's gayness. Then again, her abusive mother's drunken fist probably knocked any common sense out of the kid's brain. Since she's Cody Hackins' age they are automatically madly in love with each other, though they have never met. Has a boner for her artist aunt.

Miles Edgeworth
The prosecuting attorney that you deal with in EVERY SINGLE CASE, unless Manfred von Karma is prosecuting (which only happens once). Obviously a Fop, most likely gay. Apparently never lost a case until Phoenix Wright showed up, but he's not above making shit up to win cases. Fag. Is saddled with unnecessary feelings, lulz. for some reason this renard can not point straight all ways pointing slightly down (were talking groin area) yet more evidence that he is gay as good old pheonix would say "take that edgeworth harder harder i pwned ur ass". So obviously gay that all Edgy-female pairings are instantly cannon.

Manfred von Karma
Edgeworth's morbidly-obese and generally morbid German sex master. He killed Edgeworth's dad, then raised him to be a homosexual douchebag prosecutor. Never lost a case in his 40 year career, until Phoenix Wright shows up and not only beats him in the court of law, but proves that he is guilty of murder through batshit theatrics.

Franziska von Karma
Manfred von Karma's daughter. Decided not to stay in the kitchen and left Germany to kick Phoenix's ass for making Miles gay. She carries around a whip to prove she is superior, which we all know is not true because she is a woman. Calls Miles "Little Brother" but is somehow paired with him anyways. Not creepy.

Godot
Known as the series' ultimate douchebag. He reads Maxim, calls people broham, likes InuYasha, and is a rabid furry. Not only that, but he hits on little girls. Really. Game 3, case #5. See for yourself.

Detective Dick Gumshoe
Failure of a detective who, like many characters in the series, doesn't even know how to spell his own job. Always leaks secret evidence and has never gotten his facts straight on the stand in his entire life. Has a strong working relationship(GAY) with Miles.

Winston Payne
The only non-gender curious man in the series. Though he is 52, he exhibits all of the behaviors of a 13-year-old boy, such as annoying the hell out of you with his high-pitched voice, and being generally incompetent. Comes back for every. Single. Game.

Max Galactica
The only reason he's worth mentioning is because he is by far the gayest character in the entire series. He wears pink clothes, has pink hair, says, "Fantabulous!" and/or "Fabulous!" and calls Phoenix sweetie, and for some reason, proposes to a girl. What the fuck?

Jean Armstrong
Even gayer than Max Galactica. He's a French aromatherapist who runs a shitty overpriced restaurant and thinks he's a girl while attracting sparkles and rose petals and shit. At the beginning of case #3 in game 3, he wants to fuck Phoenix's doppelganger, Furio Tigre.

Dahlia Hawthorne
Phoenix's bitch when he was a college stoner. Still holds a grudge against him because the fire-breathing dragon that lives in her vagina turned him gay. Gets pwned by a noose in the end.

The Judge's brother
He is Canadian and, therefore, not worth mentioning.

Apollo Justice
The Attorney formerly known as Lawboy Fagsgay, Forehead, Sleeves, and "That guy with the hair", and is the brand spanking new main character of GS4. Why? Because everybody needed a break from the old characters and Naruhobo is hilarious and fun to say. Aha ha ha. Polly is a freaking wimp afraid of heights, loud noises, head-mastribators (see Daryan Crescend), Mr Hat, salt, unicorn horns, gangsta ABDs, stepladders, and panties. He's too new to be made fun of too much but is definitely gay (see case 2 game 4) Goes on a magical tic-seeking adventure via putting his nose on his bracelet and inhaling deeply.

Daryan Crescend
I can't make this crap up. Masturbates with a comb. The Almighty Capcom claims he was based off a shark. Shark. That's the first thing you think when you see him. S-h-a-r-k. Dickhead. Pun intended. Is gay for Machi and Klavier... At the same time. Fans enjoy hours of enjoyment in mocking the talking skunk penis.

Machi Tobaye
He no speek engrish much but he duz crossdresser gud. Talks in some made up gibberish thing where one of the letters is a suggestively posed man that was probably based off an embarrassing Edge-Wright yaoi pic.


http://objection.mrd...o.php?n=2440158
http://objection.mrd...o.php?n=2440165
http://objection.mrd...o.php?n=2440172

Sorry for the long post, but I'm really looking forward to Yahtzee taking over this.
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#22 User is offline   Legion Icon

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Posted 06 March 2008 - 06:17 PM

What the christ, not even halfway through that my imaginary super-secret psychic picture of the writer irreversibly became "dumbfuck Wiki troll". I don't even like the PW games much and that STILL came across as extremely unfunny.
I'm not pessimistic; I've just realised that the light at the end of the tunnel is an incoming train.
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#23 User is offline   Ninja Duck Icon

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Posted 06 March 2008 - 06:33 PM

Gobbler, I'm not sure what exactly you were trying to accomplish with that, but it worked.

QUOTE (Jenx @ Mar 5 2008, 08:19 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Not really. Anime, by the way it's understood outside of Japan, is a specific style of animation, the one we all know and hate/love/whatever.

Japanese animation....is just that. Animation done by Japanese in Japan. It doesn't mean it's anime...unless you're one of those people who think that everything about Japan=anime.

Actually, check out in youtube a series of 3D animations called Sky Jumping Pairs. Or if you can, find somewhere short film "Laughing Moon". That one is so absurdly hilarious I fell off my chair in the cinema while watching it. (one of the cinemas in town was having an all day screening of independent animation films from around the world.)


I can't find either of those, not even on YouTube. But I've never seen any animation from Japan that I haven't be able to spot right away as being at least Asian. I mean, Grave of the Fireflies is a story about World War II and it doesn't have any giant robots or unnecessarily large swords or loli, but I'd still consider it to be anime. Same goes for anything by Studio Ghibli.

Oh, wait. That movie is by Studio Ghibli. Hm.
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#24 User is offline   Ninja Duck Icon

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Posted 06 March 2008 - 06:33 PM

Sorry about the double post. The forums are working strange for me right now.

This post has been edited by Ninja Duck: 06 March 2008 - 06:34 PM

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#25 User is offline   Game Over Icon

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Posted 06 March 2008 - 06:52 PM

QUOTE (Legion @ Mar 6 2008, 11:17 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
What the christ, not even halfway through that my imaginary super-secret psychic picture of the writer irreversibly became "dumbfuck Wiki troll". I don't even like the PW games much and that STILL came across as extremely unfunny.


?
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#26 User is offline   Ghello Icon

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Posted 06 March 2008 - 07:36 PM

QUOTE (Game Over @ Mar 6 2008, 05:21 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
http://objection.mrd...o.php?n=2440158
http://objection.mrd...o.php?n=2440165
http://objection.mrd...o.php?n=2440172

Sorry for the long post, but I'm really looking forward to Yahtzee taking over this.


You get that from encyclopedia dramatica?

This post has been edited by Ghello: 06 March 2008 - 07:38 PM

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#27 User is offline   Jenx Icon

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Posted 06 March 2008 - 08:33 PM

That's weird, there used to be several clips from Sky jumping pairs in You Tube before. Must have removed them.

Ninja Duck you missed a very important word I used. "Independent". It means the people who made those animations are either a single animator or a small group of such. I am not talking about big commercial productions like the ones you listed.
QUOTE (Ninja Duck @ Jan 15 2008, 05:45 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
And the film should be shot in sepia, because real life was in sepia in the 1990s.
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#28 User is offline   Game Over Icon

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Posted 06 March 2008 - 08:43 PM

QUOTE (Ghello @ Mar 7 2008, 12:36 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
You get that from encyclopedia dramatica?


Yes. Apparently, some people don't appreciate the humor of ED or even Uncyclopedia.
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#29 User is offline   joshofalltrades Icon

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Posted 06 March 2008 - 09:05 PM

Game Over, thanks for giving me an excellent example of why I find ED to be one of the least humorous websites ever. It reminds me of the friend (you all know the one) who relentlessly mocks any music that you like to listen to, any movies you like to watch, or any girl you like to date for no reason at all and isn't even funny while ridiculing them. Being a snob for the sake of being a snob tends to get really annoying, really fast. Hell, even Yahtzee likes some things.

I tend to wise up to that kind of person pretty quickly and don't hang around them anymore. You can guess how often I frequent ED.
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#30 User is offline   Game Over Icon

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Posted 06 March 2008 - 09:53 PM

QUOTE (joshofalltrades @ Mar 7 2008, 02:05 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Game Over, thanks for giving me an excellent example of why I find ED to be one of the least humorous websites ever. It reminds me of the friend (you all know the one) who relentlessly mocks any music that you like to listen to, any movies you like to watch, or any girl you like to date for no reason at all and isn't even funny while ridiculing them. Being a snob for the sake of being a snob tends to get really annoying, really fast. Hell, even Yahtzee likes some things.

I tend to wise up to that kind of person pretty quickly and don't hang around them anymore. You can guess how often I frequent ED.


You really need to look past the racism and ignorance and see the real reason why the site was made.
But, I say we just leave that for now.
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