http://jmhofman.tripod.com/id214.html
A movie that teaches us more than we ever wanted to know about draconic pedophilia, and the color of warm human vomit as opposed to dragon vomit.
Plus: Kung Fu for some odd reason.
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Dragonheart 2 Awful movie review
#2
Posted 26 February 2008 - 04:34 AM
Special forum only bonus track: Osfric's evil master plan:
Step one: Become king's advisor, poison king.
Step two: Make everyone wear color coded tunics and nothing else at all times. This way there will be more ways to tell the difference between commoners and nobility than just the smell of animal dung.
Step three: Train king to juggle and play bag pipes, have king sign over kingdom in the event of his death. Kill king (woops, forgot that! D'oh!)
Step four: Befriend young knight and dragon
Step five: Wait for enemy soldier to conveniently stab me in the heart.
Step six: Ask Drake for his heart. If he says no I can just pretend I wasnt hurt in the first place.
Step seven: Sobbingly confess that I'm some ancient evil dragon or some shit, steal box from princess, become a dragon again, forget entirely about the kingdom I was usurping and stuff, die.
Step one: Become king's advisor, poison king.
Step two: Make everyone wear color coded tunics and nothing else at all times. This way there will be more ways to tell the difference between commoners and nobility than just the smell of animal dung.
Step three: Train king to juggle and play bag pipes, have king sign over kingdom in the event of his death. Kill king (woops, forgot that! D'oh!)
Step four: Befriend young knight and dragon
Step five: Wait for enemy soldier to conveniently stab me in the heart.
Step six: Ask Drake for his heart. If he says no I can just pretend I wasnt hurt in the first place.
Step seven: Sobbingly confess that I'm some ancient evil dragon or some shit, steal box from princess, become a dragon again, forget entirely about the kingdom I was usurping and stuff, die.
Quote
I don't know about you but I have never advocated that homosexuals, for any reason, be cut out of their mother's womb and thrown into a bin.
#5
Posted 26 February 2008 - 12:20 PM
Sime- good lord man you've seen it too?
Simp- haha oh gods yes. I have a whole section of my dvd roster devoted to bad film, many of which end up on the site.
Simp- haha oh gods yes. I have a whole section of my dvd roster devoted to bad film, many of which end up on the site.
Quote
I don't know about you but I have never advocated that homosexuals, for any reason, be cut out of their mother's womb and thrown into a bin.
#6
Posted 28 February 2008 - 05:09 AM
Got it for like 50c in Bali in 2000 or so. That line is all that I remembered from the movie, apart from the fact that it was terrible. I don't have it any more, I found it tucked away and covered in dust about a month back, and binned it for the case.
The Green Knight, SimeSublime the Puffinesque, liker of chips and hunter of gnomes.
JM's official press secretary, scientific advisor, diplomat and apparent antagonist?
JM's official press secretary, scientific advisor, diplomat and apparent antagonist?
#7
Posted 28 February 2008 - 01:08 PM
They must have noticed, cuz they put it on the back of the disk for Dragonheart 1. I couldnt toss it if I wanted to.
Quote
I don't know about you but I have never advocated that homosexuals, for any reason, be cut out of their mother's womb and thrown into a bin.
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