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Commercials

#1 User is offline   ?!! Icon

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Posted 26 January 2008 - 11:07 PM

Gonna be a long one, so, for those who don't like to read, this is about commercials.

You know that time when some commercials come on and you mind just goes blank because you've seen them all so many times they've been burned into your subconscious, and so they just become white noise? I tried something today. Every time the same old commercials came on, I pressed mute. And without the drone of yet another car insurance ad echoing into my empty brain, I discovered that all of a sudden my mind became much more efficient. I no longer took five minutes thinking about the answer to five times three squared. I could calculate quick comebacks in any argument, something that had formerly been lost to me. And, what's more, I can type more than a few sentences at a time! (As evidenced by this very topic.)

So, it seems that without the noise of commercials, I can think and speak much clearer than before. And, harnessing this newfound power of thought, I began thinking about all of the commercials I knew by heart, and how else they had spurned me.

First of all, it seems that the corporations or whatever you like to call them think of us all as stupid zombies. I give you an example of a Pizza Hut ad that has been playing since the dawn of time:

Announcer Guy: With prices so low, you could experience-
Random Guy Holding Pizza: Un-hunger
Random Guy's Friends (moaning): UN-HUNGER..

So apparently the word "full" is beyond our simple vocabulary. Okay, that has happened to me on occasion. But these people also seem to think we can't keep track of time. Take the Enzyte commercial that's been playing lately. When these commercials first came out, I thought the Smilin' Bob bit was hilarious. But lately they've been playing the same damn Christmas commercial since November. It's almost February; even the most persistant souls have taken down their Christmas lights by now, and yet Mr.Bob can't seem to take off the Santa suit. Can't they just put up a new ad, or re-use some old ones?

Then there's the annoying habit of recording the commercial way too loud, presumably to wake the viewer up from their ad trance. Picture this: It's midnight, I have the TV turned down low so it won;t wake anyone up. I've just finished listening to Ron White describe his dog Sluggo, and the show cuts to commercial. All of a sudden, blaring out of the speakers, an speaker yells, "HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO SAVE $300 ON CAR INSURANCE?!!" I turn the volume way down to keep people from pounding on the wall, but when the program resumes, which was recorded for normal people, not the partially deaf, I can't hear a thing. So I turn it back up, get absorbed in the show, and the same thing happens again.

Then there's just some commercials that make you want to kill the writers. Here's some examples: the "Lost another loan to Ditech" guy, the Scooby-Doo DirecTV commercial, those stupid Alltel Wireless commercials (particularly the Christmas ones), that annoying HSN commercial with the most annoying song ever playing throughout, and all the pizza commercials (these are the ones showing the stupid people with stupid lines).

But not to say there aren't any cool commercials. I particularly like the Geico ones, there don't seem to be any that convey the tipical "BUY THIS NOW! NOW!!" attitude, they're pretty cleverly written. As are most beer commercials. But aside from the fact that advertisements pay for everything, the world may as well be better off, and smarter without them.

Would have put this on a blog, but I don't have one. So, um... talk about commercials here.

Now I'm gonna watch TV.

Shit, lost the remote.

**THIS TOPIC BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE GENERAL CAR INSURANCE COMPANY, "For the best car insurance rates in town call 1-800-GENERAL NOW!!!"***

We're whalers on the moon
We carry a harpoon
But there ain't no whales so we tell tall tales
And sing a whaling tune

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#2 User is offline   looktothesky Icon

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Posted 29 January 2008 - 07:50 PM

The group of consumers aren't called 'stupid zombies' in the commercial world, they're called a 'demographic'. Every time I see a commercial, it makes me feel good because it tells me that once I'm finished school, there are a lot of jobs out there for people like myself. smile.gif devil.gif
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Posted 29 January 2008 - 08:23 PM

I hate the way adds just activate your cerebral defenses. You tune out when they're on, but it requires such a heavy tune out that you're luck to get your shit together before the show returns... which sucks when you're watching the news because you almost always miss the weather that way.

Everytime you get stuck at work without an umbrella on a rainy afternoon you should be allowed to sue an advertising company.
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Posted 30 January 2008 - 08:54 AM

QUOTE (looktothesky @ Jan 29 2008, 05:50 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
The group of consumers aren't called 'stupid zombies' in the commercial world, they're called a 'demographic'. Every time I see a commercial, it makes me feel good because it tells me that once I'm finished school, there are a lot of jobs out there for people like myself. smile.gif devil.gif



I was being humorous, although I don't blame you for reacting that way since I'm terrible at humor. I was talking about how ads portray their customers. Or at least that one ad.

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Posted 30 January 2008 - 09:32 AM

Truly, a lot of ads insult your intelligence. But then there's DVR, where you can go weeks without seeing an advert. Good thing for trade publications, or I'd be oblivious to some of the good work out there.

Of course this weekend, those damn intrusions will be heralded and celebrated. Hooray for commercialism!
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Posted 30 January 2008 - 09:50 AM

Fun fact: The reason cable TV is a subscription service is because there aren't supposed to be any commercials on it.
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Posted 30 January 2008 - 09:05 PM

but their fucking are!!!

At first i didn't mind... All these stations advertising shows on OTHER stations seemed like some kind of utopia... but then the adds for products came.

I am phasing all Broadcast television (be it cable or air) completely out with DVDs of my favorite shows.

TO hell with adds.
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#8 User is offline   Heccubus Icon

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Posted 30 January 2008 - 11:05 PM

QUOTE (Slade @ Jan 30 2008, 09:50 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Fun fact: The reason cable TV is a subscription service is because there aren't supposed to be any commercials on it.

I remember being told that before. It's still hilarious, but it makes sense considering the massive corporate conglomerates that own most cable providers and networks.
There are some commercials in existence that can actually ruin my whole day.
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Posted 30 January 2008 - 11:08 PM

Geez, which ones? I've seen some pretty bad commercials, but I don't think any of them have hit home that hard... Though the nasty feminine product or male enhancement commercials or even condom commercials during children's programming can piss me off...
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Posted 31 January 2008 - 01:03 AM

Any/all Axe body spray commercials, for one thing. Those are by far and away the most blatantly offensive, infuriatingly awful commercials I've ever seen. The fact that they're made by the same people behind Dove's "Campaign For Real Beauty" is even more frustrating.
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Posted 31 January 2008 - 06:59 AM

Why did they get rid of the jingle? sad.gif And the snappy catchphrase? Sometimes advertisers still try to dust off these techniques, but they always fail in the most pathetic way possible. It's like they looked at old ads and only thought "Wow! Any sort of anything remotely considered music sells!" Bleargh.

Spoon: Don't forget the KY commercials in the same time slots you were mentioning!
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Posted 31 January 2008 - 09:31 AM

I shower with Axe. It's funny because I'll always say "Would you axe me when you go to wal-mart?" ("Aks" is a synonym of "Ask" in these parts and others. At first it would throw Ladybug) I'm going to Axe myself how clean can I get?

I'm surprised this tech savvy night life group doesn't Tivo or DVR more. "Aw Marge... live tv..." sad.gif is what we say when we've sped through commercials and caught up.
A lot of the good commercials are made overseas anyway.
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Posted 31 January 2008 - 10:40 AM

I don't watch television enough to get Tivo or bother with DVR or anything like that. It just pisses me off to be watching a kid show or family show because my brother wants me to watch with him and then I see all these adult commercials. And yeah, I hate the Axe commercials, too - or any commercial that is so blatantly sexual. It's really unnecessary. And I didn't know they were made by the Dove people, that makes me very sad.

P.S. Axe body spray is a waste of $ - it doesn't smell wonderful and it goes away in an hour. I know nothing of the body wash etc, though.

This post has been edited by Spoon Poetic: 31 January 2008 - 10:41 AM

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#14 User is offline   Despondent Icon

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Posted 31 January 2008 - 12:39 PM

QUOTE (Spoon Poetic @ Jan 31 2008, 11:40 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I know nothing of the body wash etc, though.

My wife likes my using it. She's not crazy about the line drawing on the package, with the guy and a girl on each side...

Now there's a competitor with another Axe synonym: "Blade", btw.
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Posted 31 January 2008 - 04:23 PM

I'm hoping they'll make "Bloody great assault rifle" body spray.
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