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Zero Punctuation: Guitar Hero 3

#1 User is offline   Jenx Icon

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Posted 12 December 2007 - 01:25 PM

Zero Punctuation: Guitar Hero 3

This week's Zero Punctuation is about Rock, Manliness and Yahtzee TOTALLY not being gay.
QUOTE (Ninja Duck @ Jan 15 2008, 05:45 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
And the film should be shot in sepia, because real life was in sepia in the 1990s.
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#2 User is offline   CJ Marren Icon

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Posted 12 December 2007 - 05:02 PM

Haha, possibly one of the best yet.
<!--quoteo(post=174818:date=Oct 14 2007, 09:43 AM:name=Cobnat)--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (Cobnat @ Oct 14 2007, 09:43 AM) <a href="index.php?act=findpost&pid=174818"><{POST_SNAPBACK}></a></div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec--><!--fonto:Microsoft Sans Serif--><span style="font-family:Microsoft Sans Serif"><!--/fonto--><!--sizeo:2--><span style="font-size:10pt;line-height:100%"><!--/sizeo--><!--coloro:#FF0000--><span style="color:#FF0000"><!--/coloro-->Lets all have sex with robots until our groins are sore and bloody!<!--colorc--></span><!--/colorc--><!--sizec--></span><!--/sizec--><!--fontc--></span><!--/fontc--><!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->

<!--quoteo(post=169306:date=Aug 10 2007, 11:03 AM:name=Legion)--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (Legion @ Aug 10 2007, 11:03 AM) <a href="index.php?act=findpost&pid=169306"><{POST_SNAPBACK}></a></div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec--><!--fonto:Arial--><span style="font-family:Arial"><!--/fonto--><!--coloro:#483D8B--><span style="color:#483D8B"><!--/coloro--><!--sizeo:3--><span style="font-size:12pt;line-height:100%"><!--/sizeo-->So why the unholy flying purple donkeypunching fuck will it not work on yours? Just what kind of machine are you running there? Your toaster?<!--sizec--></span><!--/sizec--><!--colorc--></span><!--/colorc--><!--fontc--></span><!--/fontc--><!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->

And the man again!
<!--quoteo(post=180859:date=Jan 16 2008, 02:29 PM:name=Legion)--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (Legion @ Jan 16 2008, 02:29 PM) <a href="index.php?act=findpost&pid=180859"><{POST_SNAPBACK}></a></div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec-->In my opinion it's saying, fuck the lightsabers and special effects and fuck your voiceovers and fuck your stupid multimilliondollar game studios; you don't need any of those to make brilliant and scary games that will fuck with your head.<!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->

<u><!--sizeo:3--><span style="font-size:12pt;line-height:100%"><!--/sizeo--><!--coloro:#FF8C00--><span style="color:#FF8C00"><!--/coloro-->My Getting Huge Progress (Gym and weight gain diet)<!--colorc--></span><!--/colorc--><!--sizec--></span><!--/sizec--></u>
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#3 User is offline   Chyld Icon

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Posted 12 December 2007 - 05:39 PM

They're all absolute quality, but this ZP was Absolute Quality. I may already have ranted about GH3 in the games forum, but suffice to say that when the only good song in there is a Slipknot track (I love them, but I understand why others don't), it doesn't bode well. My little brother wanted it for his birthday, I pointed him at a PS2 and the original, and when he gets them for Christmas he will love them. And stop trying to be Eminem.

Blatent Fanboy Quoting Hour!
- The day I pay $60 for an expansion pack is the day I swallow razor wire, pull it out of my arse, and floss myself to death.
- I'M NOT GAY. (I genuinly can't think of any better jokes connecting Yahtzee and bumsex. Crap.)

Also, on a sad and nerdy note, he's really got the hang of Windows Movie Maker now, hasn't he? Just look at the animation on those hands in the end credits, knowing full well the limitations of Movie Maker (I did something along similar lines to ZP a few months ago based around a picture of a sandwich and how I made it), its really impressive.

...what the fuck? I've just realised I had a dream about not only Yahtzee reviewing GH3, but me writing this review of his review. WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON WITH ME? I see the future, and its the most useless nthings in the world!
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#4 User is offline   bobsickle Icon

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Posted 12 December 2007 - 05:48 PM

QUOTE (Chyld @ Dec 12 2007, 10:39 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
...what the fuck? I've just realised I had a dream about not only Yahtzee reviewing GH3, but me writing this review of his review. WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON WITH ME? I see the future, and its the most useless nthings in the world!

I did that with getting concussion from a dodgy tackle in a game of rugby. I spent half the game not knowing who, what, where, when or why I was. I also didn't remember most of the game either... Apparently I scored two tries... Anyway, back to the matter at hand. We all have to face facts at some point guys. Yahtzee is off-limits now, he said so himself. (damn...) Great review, homo-eroticism certainly adds a lot to them.
Tiredness can kill! Have a break, have a Kit-Kat.
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#5 User is offline   Legion Icon

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Posted 12 December 2007 - 06:03 PM

Haha, that was awesome. Way to go Yahtzee. And also well done, using the guitar solo from Cliffs of Dover as the ending music.

They should have added more chars to the game instead of replacing them. I say that because aforementioned Jpopster Midori happens to be MY favorite character, but then again we all know I'm a hopelessly obsessed fanboy with a thing for Jpop artists in stockings and swinging a guitar shaped like a bat around the stage.

And also I agree, the last venue is fucking hard. It took me a week to five-star Raining Blood - and that was on Easy mode. But Cliffs of Dover and Through The Fire And The Flames made those other ones worth it, in my opinion.

Now if only I had a 360 and not a Wii, I'd probably challenge Yahtzee in order to prove my raging manliness.
I'm not pessimistic; I've just realised that the light at the end of the tunnel is an incoming train.
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#6 User is offline   Sniffles Icon

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Posted 12 December 2007 - 07:37 PM

I thought I was the only one who liked Clive Winston. The fact that he is not present in GH3 has convinced me not to buy it.
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#7 User is offline   Battlefrank Icon

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Posted 12 December 2007 - 10:01 PM

aww. don't feel gay, yahtzee! i almost died from ass-impaling once(ACCIENTAL) you see, one of the support beams from a desk fell out, and i sat on it. this move was completely fucking retarded for it went through my pants, through my underwear, and 10 inches up my ass. infact, it i hadn't reacted as quicklyi would have died by ass-impalization. so, i was traumatized.

in short, i almost was impaled far up the ass. and instead was impaled semi-far up the ass.
im not gay either.
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#8 User is offline   AdamM Icon

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Posted 12 December 2007 - 10:24 PM

At this point, dear reader, you should have come to the conclusion that Battlefrank is in fact a big smelly troll, and set your control panel to ignore him.

I've never played any Guitar Hero. Is it any good?
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#9 User is offline   Battlefrank Icon

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Posted 12 December 2007 - 10:25 PM

but it really happened
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#10 User is offline   Sniffles Icon

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Posted 12 December 2007 - 10:39 PM

QUOTE (AdamM @ Dec 12 2007, 10:24 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I've never played any Guitar Hero. Is it any good?


Guitar Hero's only fun when you're good at it, and you can impress the ladies. Not like I would know. I've never actually met a real lady.
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#11 User is offline   Patch Icon

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Posted 12 December 2007 - 11:35 PM

QUOTE (AdamM @ Dec 13 2007, 01:24 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
At this point, dear reader, you should have come to the conclusion that Battlefrank is in fact a big smelly troll, and set your control panel to ignore him.

Ignore who?
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#12 User is offline   Ninja Duck Icon

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Posted 13 December 2007 - 02:26 AM

I find it interesting that in the end, when YZ lets lit slip that he's gay, his animated counterpart stares at him. Are we to interpret this Yahtzee having conflicting gay and non-gay sides within himself?
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#13 User is offline   El Presedente Icon

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Posted 13 December 2007 - 04:58 AM

could be that one side of his brain is gay, the other side isn't
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#14 User is offline   arien Icon

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Posted 13 December 2007 - 08:22 PM

QUOTE (Legion @ Dec 12 2007, 06:03 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Haha, that was awesome. Way to go Yahtzee. And also well done, using the guitar solo from Cliffs of Dover as the ending music.

Agreed x 1000000. That was the best.

... though, technically, isn't Cliffs of Dover only guitar solo?
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#15 User is offline   Legion Icon

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Posted 13 December 2007 - 09:16 PM

Good point. However I suppose it could be argued that the piece is a guitar instrumental with several solos scattered throughout; but it's not even lunch time here and therefore I'm too fucking tired to really give a toss.

Dammit, they better step up the downloadable content on this fucker. I want to be playing Blind Guardian on my plastic Les Paul guitar or I'm going to hurt people.
I'm not pessimistic; I've just realised that the light at the end of the tunnel is an incoming train.
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