[Spoon Poetic]

Gah, I loved Grendel. I thought I was the only one that knew of that. Yay for other informed people!

[civilian_number_two]

Hey don't worry; there are loads of movies with no romance in them. It was just an example of something, along with character development and a credible villain, that this story is missing. It is certainly not the most epic tale ever told.

[TruJade]

I just wish the movie was
coming out earlier or at least last month

so i don`t have to read the whole
book in 3 days for History class

[TheOrator]

I just wish the movie was
coming out earlier or at least last month

so i don`t have to read the whole
book in 3 days for History class

Please don't tell me you're finding it difficult to read it in three days. The book is like 90 pages long.

And since you don't want to rush it shouldn't you want it to come out later?

And why are you reading it for History class? It's about as historically accurate as Blackadder II.

[Slade]

Hey, I read Grendel in AP English. It was a good book, and I had the utmost sympathy for poor Grendel right up until he started wantonly murdering people. Then it kinda lost it for me.

[TruJade]

Please don't tell me you're finding it difficult to read it in three days. The book is like 90 pages long.

Well the version we had to read is
about 100 pages longer than 90 pages

And since you don't want to rush it shouldn't you want it to come out later?

I want the film to come out earlier so i can see it
and read the comparisons on-line between the movie and the film

And why are you reading it for History class?
It's about as historically accurate as Blackadder II.

Im reading it for History, well mainly
because the teacher said so and i can only assume
it has something to do with giving us a sense of the time

[civilian_number_two]

Monster kill people. Beowulf come from overseas. Boasts of how awesome he is. Monster does some more killing. Beowulf sneaks up on it (I'll spare you the cowardly details) and rips its arm off. Monster runs away and presumably bleeds to death. Monster's mother comes to town for revenge. Beowulf tracks her to a swamp and dives under the water to fight her in her cave. Beowulf's sword is ng but luckily there's treasure in the cave, and he uses a magical sword from the horde to kill Grendel's mother. The sword however melts when he uses it spitefully to decapitate Grendel's dead body. Boo. Beowulf goes home and becomes king of the Geats for about 50 years. What with one thing and another, a dragon shows up to wreak havoc. Beowulf goes to kill it but once again hs sword is ng. One of his minions runs in to help. Beowulf kills the dragon but is mortally wounded in the deal. He leaves his kingdom to the dude who ran in to help. The end.

[J m HofMarN]

BUT in the Hollywood version:

Theres a girl! She is sassy and probably has a father. She's caught having sex with a tuber or something, or at least its implied. Then the monster pops up, cutting short the embarassing parent-child interaction. There are some kids skinnydipping and some footage of Grendel coming through the woods, followed by screams. B-wolf is a village constable who doesnt play by the rules and only depends on himself. He has a grudge against Grendel for killing his dog. The king says thats good because Grendel just kidnapped his daughter. Cut to footage of daughter kneeing Grendel in the nurts.

B-wolf and Grendel have a high speed sword duel and jump off walls before Grendel is beaten, and B-wolf lets him live. He shacks up with the princess and tells her that she is like a swamp, because she is moist and squishy and he wants to dive into her. She is attracted to him. Will Smith, playing a whacky Moor, stumbles into their room and begins to perform a strip tease.

The tender love scene is broken up when Grendel, the dragon, and Grendels mom all show up for a battle royale! The king tells B-wolf that he is (insert kingdom here)'s last hope. He is the last line of defense and failure is not an option. Humanity will survive, the king insists.(cmon, its a Bruckheimer film) B-wolf fights them all at once in a blinding blur of, well, blurry blindness. In the end only he is left standing. B-wolf disarms the stolen nuclear device. Everyone cheers and B-wolf wisecracks before going back to screwing the princess.

This post has been edited by J m HofMarN: 07 November 2007 - 09:45 PM

[TheOrator]

The sad thing is, that's probably very accurate, JM.

And Civ, there's nothing cowardly about Beowul!

[civilian_number_two]

Well, I know pretending to be asleep while the monster kills a bunch of your hirelings(*) wasn't considered cowardly in those days, but I don't like it much.

(*) For those who wonder why he'd do that, it was so he could bravely sucker punch the monster when he got to him, thinking he was asleep like the others.

[Jen]

Can we talk for a minute about the fact that this movie is 3-flipping-D????

http://www.wired.com.../ff_3dhollywood

[J m HofMarN]

I'm feeling guardedly positive about this movie now, especially if someone from pulp fiction is involved and they're catering to the geek demographic.... However I do hope it doesnt result in me having to hear the term Brangelina again, because arm ripping will ensue.

[Lord Aquaman]

I'll see it as soon as I can. I do wish they'd hurry up and release it already.

This post has been edited by Lord Aquaman: 08 November 2007 - 01:32 PM

[TruJade]

Thank you Civ and JM
your words and story summarries

were both hilarious as well insightful
now i know i'll do smashingly on the test tomorrow.

[civilian_number_two]

Yeesh. Ok, 3D might be pretty cool. But these guys are capitalising pretty heavy on Beowulf's lack of description when they cast Angelina Jolie as the Troll's mother. OK, technically it never says she's a big ugly troll, but come on.