[Sofox]

He is a dimensionless, cardboard cut-out action hero with no character development (or character anything for that matter).

So's Tintin.

[El_Gostro]

Final fantasy stories are usually about some beachboy with a sword and repressed sexuality being pursued by hot brunettes that have the hots for their trouser materia.
Kind of like Batman and catwoman but in bishounen vision

[Professor Saucy]

That's really only applicable to Final Fantasy games made after 6.

And to be fair, despite all the shit the game gets for having a retarded fanbase, I really, really like FF7.


EDIT:
I also must leap to the defense of a childhood icon here and say that TinTin made up for any acts of drabness by having the best sidekick ever.



BLISTERIN' BLUE BARNACLES!


I REST MY CASE.

This post has been edited by Professor Saucy: 03 October 2007 - 05:32 PM

[El Presedente]

Sir, I want you to have my children.

Only If you play the buggery song from pulp fiction while you're doing it.

Master Chief is the worst hero in videogame history. He is a dimensionless, cardboard cut-out action hero with no character development (or character anything for that matter).

There's my pull out quote to piss my halo obsessed mates off.

Final fantasy stories are usually about some beachboy with a sword and repressed sexuality being pursued by hot brunettes that have the hots for their trouser materia.
Kind of like Batman and catwoman but in bishounen vision

Exactly, no square jawed hero = no win. Whatever happened to Games/Comic/Films/Books where men were men? I'll tell you what happened, the filthy Japs got their hands all over them, thats what!

[El_Gostro]

Well I wasnt exactly upholding square jaw hero games by pointing out final fantasy.
What bugs me about the final fantasy games is that they seem to be hyped by common consense as the one religious text where fanatics of all faiths can agree.

The stories ache of cliché ,and the endless amounts of random mob killing to see them progress are to me rather fatigating.

Of course that is just my take on things,but to me androginous heroes with cosmo slicing sword magick are as tiring as dual rocket launcher sporting steroid overdosed hulks

[Prodian]

Well I wasnt exactly upholding square jaw hero games by pointing out final fantasy.
What bugs me about the final fantasy games is that they seem to be hyped by common consense as the one religious text where fanatics of all faiths can agree.

The stories ache of cliché ,and the endless amounts of random mob killing to see them progress are to me rather fatigating.

Of course that is just my take on things,but to me androginous heroes with cosmo slicing sword magick are as tiring as dual rocket launcher sporting steroid overdosed hulks

You sound like those text porno sites have that really don't make a great deal of sense but use buzz words to catch the attention of search engines.

On topic, I like Halo for its story. It's not all that creative but It has aliens. And zombie aliens. And guns. Kapow!

[El_Gostro]

Talking about search engines,I can'tt seem to find any images from a film I saw at my ex workplace, one named "alien zombies from mars" or something like that

[El Presedente]

Of course that is just my take on things,but to me androginous heroes with cosmo slicing sword magick are as tiring as dual rocket launcher sporting steroid overdosed hulks

You try telling that to BROCK SAMSON!

[Sniffles]

Apparently this is so you can project your own character onto him.

That's possible, however I believe that job is done best by my man Gordon Freeman. Freeman's feelings are the player's feelings, and with no cutscenes or dialogue to interfere in how you perceive his personality. Master Chief just happens to have a personality, just a cliche, one-dimensional, non-existant one, and it's the player's job to open their mouths wide enough to swallow all of his robo-shit.

Speaking of which, why is it a present-day bespectacled scientist with basic weapon training and a prototype hazmat suit kills just as many aliens/zombies/marines with things like a crowbar and a crossbow, than a futuristic, trained-from-birth, super-armored, robotic asshole that uses weapons that are advanced for 300 years in the future? Because the former is a real badass, and the latter is an over-rated sell-out piece of Macintosh cockshit.

This post has been edited by Sniffles: 03 October 2007 - 08:22 PM

[El_Gostro]

The one game that I played that you could project a personality to a certain extent on an alreday existing character with his own background was done in that little jewel I hold close to my heart by name of Planescape Torment...

[Professor Saucy]

To get the thread back on track, I think my favorite thing to do in a Halo game is when I'm playing multiplayer over the internet, I hop in the shotgun seat of the warthog with an assualt rifle and me and two other guys go storm the enemy base, and since the car is bouncing all over the fucking place I don't have a hope in high hell of actually hitting anything so I just move my mouse around randomly while keeping the fire button pressed down and yell YEEEEEEEEEEEE HAWWWWWWWWWW really loud into the mic.

You should all go try this if you haven't already, it's a barrel of laughs.

[Professor Saucy]

ALSO, AS PROMISED:
Microwaved Grape: Halo 3 was so bad he lowered his standards!
killersparten003: huh?
Microwaved Grape: did you watch the review?
killersparten003: no
killersparten003: lol
Microwaved Grape: http://www.escapistm...ctuation-Halo-3
killersparten003: and halo is the biggest game of 2007
killersparten003: it was good
Microwaved Grape: watch the review, it's hilarious!
killersparten003: i dont really wanna watch it
Microwaved Grape: why!
killersparten003: that guy is a prick
killersparten003: who seriously
killersparten003: doesnt
killersparten003: know
killersparten003: shit
Microwaved Grape: he's my hero
Microwaved Grape: mabye YOU don't know shit
killersparten003: hes ur hero?
killersparten003: u need to die
Microwaved Grape: what do you have against Yahtzee
Microwaved Grape: he's a great guy
Microwaved Grape: he tells the TRUTH
killersparten003: hes a dumb whiney brat
killersparten003: /a price a british shit
Microwaved Grape: one that tells the TRUTH
Microwaved Grape: EVERY TIME
Microwaved Grape: HE IS LIKE JESUS
Microwaved Grape: EXCEPT WAY COOLER
killersparten003: no he really doesnt lol
killersparten003: fine i will watch it
killersparten003: and i shall tell u if he is full of shit cuz i would know about halo 3

killersparten003: dude...the fag didnt even play the first or second halo first

killersparten003: o yah
killersparten003: he's full of shit
Microwaved Grape: why
Microwaved Grape: why is he full of shit
Microwaved Grape: DO YOU NOT SEE
Microwaved Grape: THE TRUTH
killersparten003: yes i see the truth
Microwaved Grape: THAT HALO IS OVERRATED
Microwaved Grape: THAT IS THE TRUTH
killersparten003: i'm well aware of that
killersparten003: lol
killersparten003: but he didnt even get the story before he played the third game
killersparten003: so really he has no business rating this game at all
Microwaved Grape: it's a shooting game, dude
Microwaved Grape: story should take a back seat
Microwaved Grape: a waaaaaaaaaay backseat
killersparten003: not the way they designed the game

There you have it, Yahtzee, you are doing it completely wrong and should repent immediately.

I also tried to get him to download Sin and Punishment for his Wii by illustrating how completely awesome it was and that he should love it because he is a huge Star Fox fan, to which he replied "nah i'm good" every time I tried to make a point. I think out of all the awesome things I've suggested he play over the years, Earthbound is the only game I've gotten him to give a chance. And that was a day before Halo 3 came out, so he probably doesn't even remember what the fuck an "Earthbound" is at this point.

[Patch]

Unfortunately, your friend is right to an extent.
Yahtzee does have no right to review a game, especially the story, without playing the ones before it. How about I clear it up right now, even though he won't care.

Aliens didn't take over Earth, just attack it for an ancient relic.
The Halo rings were like giant weapons that would wipe out all life in the galaxy/universe until the Flood (the zombies) rotted away to nothing.
The twelve year old girl was... Cortanna (an AI), right? Yeah, there was a story behind her too.
After infiltrating the Covenant (the aliens) base Master Chief left Coratanna there.
I forget why.
The Covenant that were helping humans had recently been exiled for heresay cause they found out that the Halos (the ring) were giant freaking weapons of universal destruction (guns).

You get it now?

Normally I'm willing to accept minor discrepancies or faults, but seriously, poking fun of a games plot without playing the full thing?
Does anyone else remember a while back a guy reviewed 6DAS without playing the others? It's exactly the same thing.

[Professor Saucy]

Uh, except for the fact that in a First Person Shooter the story really should not make a difference to the amount of fun you are having. It's nice to have, sure, but you really shouldn't need some gracefully arching and deep plotline to enjoy blowing legions of aliens or whatever to all hell. Case in point: Duke Nukem 3D.

Call me old-fashioned, but even with all this tour de force crap like Bioshock and every other cinematic Half Life 2 wannabe, I still play shooting games to satisfy my urge to shoot things.

Shoot things with guns.

Because when Professor Saucy press button and make the mans fall down, it make Professor Saucy feel happy like when he look at shiny things.




Speaking of Half-Life, by the by, I am a failure who has been living under a rock to the point of never having played the original, but that did not stop me from enjoying the second one for all it was worth. Same goes for System Shock 2, although I'm pretty sure over 50% of it's fans haven't played SS1 either.

Hell, sometimes I'll play a series of games out of order on purpose so I can get the effect of a Tarantino-esque disjointed timeline. Then it's really cool when the pieces of the plot all fall into place, in lieu of playing out in a linear fashion. SO THERE.

This post has been edited by Professor Saucy: 04 October 2007 - 12:56 AM

[Professor Saucy]

ALSO BEFORE YOU FILM NUTS RUSH TO INSULT ME FOR BEING A MAINSTREAM PRICK I AM WELL AWARE THAT TARANTINO DID NOT INVENT DIRECTING MOVIES, BUT I AM NOT A NERD LIKE YOU AND WAS JUST PICKING THE FIRST EXAMPLE THAT CAME TO MIND

GRRRRR

This post has been edited by Professor Saucy: 04 October 2007 - 01:15 AM