Mushroom article by Stars Are My Diet
#1
Posted 12 September 2007 - 04:15 AM
The first hurdle to overcome was that, though I had managed to purchase the awful wrinkled things, I had no idea how to use them. I knew they were not smoked, and eating was preferable, but how? I don’t care what kind of high it gives. Those things reminded me of my grandmother. I’m not putting that wrinkly grossness in my mouth. Shove them up the ass? Inject them? What?
Using my culinary knowledge I soon figured that I could crush them into a beef stroganoff tv dinner. I let it cool down a bit first and then in they went. I devoured the whole thing with every kind of hunger man can have. This was to be greater than sex, greater than food, greater than dope or booze. It was nirvana’s doorstep and I had the key.
Soon typing began to sound like giggling, which I later found was me laughing because my typing sounded like me laughing. Then what little common sense I had began to fade away. This was problematic. I had done absolutely nothing to prepare my room, because I was looking forward to a spiritual trip wherein the Goddess, Karl Marx, Che Guevara, or some angel would pop by and impart wisdom.
Partly due to my misconceptions and over abundance of faith in my fleeting sanity, I hadn’t secured my room. Arrows, swords, droves of knives, paint, and dangerous music were everywhere. The only thing I had done was to decide ahead of time not to listen to a lot of MCR. I did NOT need an image of a girl turning into a zombie in my bed, especially while I was laying in said bed.
But I digress. My grip on self preservation was fading. I’ve always had self destructive tendencies. It’s a humble thing really. I know that my death makes little difference in this swirling sphere of gas and rubble. So it was no surprise that the first thing I noticed was a push pin on the floor. I wondered suddenly what “sharp” felt like. But for the moment I had the self control not to pick it up. Worse than that though was the sensation of heat everywhere. It had been fine earlier in the evening but I was certain I was hot, so off came all my clothes but my underwear, which would later be augmented by an apron and a lot of paint.
Soon I curled into a ball as if it would make the heat go away, but unknown stimuli kept shocking me and I began to spin around laying on my bed. I had my first vision which I recorded as such:
“I saw it,. a great orb suspended like a jewel acrss i shouopd say on the water. lightening everyweherre fframed bt (by) the most amazinf [pERRerns(patterns)
gold and purple
gold and piurple patterns
all around tigis orb in the sky
green luightening
its in the sky and in the water and on there(the) watytere!@(water)
IJK(I) started as if from a foe
the lifgthening is starling me“
But what did it mean? There was no time to interpret it because I soon began to unleash the gospel of the Good Lord’s Muskrat and the Red Lord’s Musket in a Kurtzian monologue.
“this is the last efighe(sigh) pf a dyiong mnind
a desperate thingy
smell i canb smell everything
thus ibe(I’ve) nonent(unintelligible) the drug has brought me to is perfect and golden there is nothing herlse(else)
yhtres unity npow to be fouy d(found)
theres unity now to be found
are they teh same
the red lord and the food lord
goooooooood lord
the red lors musket
the good lords muiskrat?
future sight now
holy hole in the foot and the shouklder
spreading the gospel of tghe good lords mujskey
i stared downj it to day”
And in a related speech to Slade:
“[02:04] Eternal Brat: red lords... ,muskrayt?
[02:04] Bass Beat of Dewm: Sourkraut gungho!
[02:04] Eternal Brat: u saw all of this from over there on the couch just before it happebned
[02:05] Eternal Brat: and i know whats on this cd toes bloeeeeeeeeeeed
[02:05] Eternal Brat: ''''''''''''toes b;eed
[02:05] Eternal Brat: thee red lords muskrat
[02:05] Eternal Brat: the good lords muskrat
[02:05] Bass Beat of Dewm: I will die before I recognize the rule of the Red Lord Muskrat.
[02:05] Eternal Brat: tthe rede lords muskrat
[02:05] Eternal Brat: wait tgere was a manntra before tgat
[02:06] Eternal Brat: something
[02:06] Eternal Brat: oh ytes
[02:06] Eternal Brat: supplenmebt nmy duiet
[02:06] Eternal Brat: ooh fuck rted lords miskety
[02:06] Eternal Brat: musket
[02:06] Bass Beat of Dewm: If it's a musket, that changes the entire song.
[02:10] Bass Beat of Dewm: Never forget that Bearstranauts are a bad idea.
[02:13] Eternal Brat: midnight klind of n interesting day
[02:13] Eternal Brat: is thios all coincidence keeps nefrpom goiung awayh
[02:13] Bass Beat of Dewm: Give it time.
[02:13] Eternal Brat: the red lords musk rat IS THe good lords musket
[02:13] Bass Beat of Dewm: Oh.
[02:14] Bass Beat of Dewm: What calibur ammunition does a muskrat musket take?
[02:14] Eternal Brat: sadlyt trheres no coicidences rfrom it all
[02:14] Eternal Brat: the red lors mnusket
[02:14] Eternal Brat: fuck
[02:14] Eternal Brat: thjers a cair dopwn tghere'
[02:15] Eternal Brat: a chair downnn,,, there?
[02:15] Bass Beat of Dewm: The_chair is down there, but the beer is up here.
[02:16] Eternal Brat: i end you now man
[02:17] Bass Beat of Dewm: You end me?
[02:17] Eternal Brat: youre just like jim morrisonb a dm y ancestors
[02:17] Eternal Brat: red lors musket
[02:17] Eternal Brat: this LOOJKS like typical insanity byut iu feel i should warbn you good lords muskrat
[02:18] Bass Beat of Dewm: I will keep my eyes peeled for all rodents wielded as weapons by royalty, I promise.”
The Jim Morrison mention was a reference to the fact that I was struggling to turn The Doors onto repeat. But after one of their songs it went straight to “All along the watch tower” The jamming intro nearly shattered my mind just by pure stimulus. As a result I soon put on an apron.
I know this because I began to freak out about a red thing around my neck when I discovered I’d put it there. The apron became my armor in a bizarre battle against a statue I had in my room. It had been shifted around until it was infront of an old crucifix I have for no reason. The statue was gold, an unfortunate color for what I deemed to be an idol. I slung three knives into it with incredible accuracy considering my state, and beat it until it fell down along with a few other things. The arrow, I believe, was what I used to actually knock it down. At which point I distinctly remember exclaiming “Oh fucking dragon!”
Talking to Slade throughout the experiment may have saved me a lot of trouble. The next morning, for instance, I discovered that in my epic battle with the golden idol I’d crushed my lamp. I made a comment about the lamp being spidery, so Slade wisely pointed out “maybe the lamp is unsafe right now?” Regardless of my companion’s help I soon realized that “In the eye of this storm I’m alone” and that everyone was outside. I’d lapsed back in from madness to realize that this was all in my head, regrettably. None of it was a holy sign or anything… not yet.
More to come. 10 pages of babbling madness doesn't edit itself, you know!
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#2
Posted 12 September 2007 - 07:14 AM
This version is already a lot more exciting.
#3
Posted 12 September 2007 - 11:12 AM
Edit: Temporarily. She was blind for several hours. Also in a deep state of paranoia, which the blindness sure as hell didn't help.
This post has been edited by Spoon Poetic: 12 September 2007 - 11:14 AM
#4
Posted 12 September 2007 - 01:20 PM
Spoon - I made a fleeting attempt at suicide later in the evening, it was pretty nifty really.Don't know anything about going blind though, it sounds like this girl was having a bad trip.
I think it's definately worth doing again, especially now that I have a better idea of what I'm doing.
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#5
Posted 12 September 2007 - 04:00 PM
#6
Posted 21 September 2007 - 03:25 AM
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#7
Posted 02 November 2007 - 09:31 AM
<!--quoteo(post=169306:date=Aug 10 2007, 11:03 AM:name=Legion)--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (Legion @ Aug 10 2007, 11:03 AM) <a href="index.php?act=findpost&pid=169306"><{POST_SNAPBACK}></a></div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec--><!--fonto:Arial--><span style="font-family:Arial"><!--/fonto--><!--coloro:#483D8B--><span style="color:#483D8B"><!--/coloro--><!--sizeo:3--><span style="font-size:12pt;line-height:100%"><!--/sizeo-->So why the unholy flying purple donkeypunching fuck will it not work on yours? Just what kind of machine are you running there? Your toaster?<!--sizec--></span><!--/sizec--><!--colorc--></span><!--/colorc--><!--fontc--></span><!--/fontc--><!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->
And the man again!
<!--quoteo(post=180859:date=Jan 16 2008, 02:29 PM:name=Legion)--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (Legion @ Jan 16 2008, 02:29 PM) <a href="index.php?act=findpost&pid=180859"><{POST_SNAPBACK}></a></div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec-->In my opinion it's saying, fuck the lightsabers and special effects and fuck your voiceovers and fuck your stupid multimilliondollar game studios; you don't need any of those to make brilliant and scary games that will fuck with your head.<!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->
<u><!--sizeo:3--><span style="font-size:12pt;line-height:100%"><!--/sizeo--><!--coloro:#FF8C00--><span style="color:#FF8C00"><!--/coloro-->My Getting Huge Progress (Gym and weight gain diet)<!--colorc--></span><!--/colorc--><!--sizec--></span><!--/sizec--></u>
<b>May '07:</b> 11st (154lbs)
<b>August '07:</b> 12st 7lbs (175lbs)
<b>November '07:</b> 12st 9lbs (177lbs)
<b>December '07:</b> 12st 11lbs (179lbs)
<b>January '08:</b> 12st 12lbs (180lbs)
<b>Febuary '08:</b> 13st 2lbs (184lbs)
<b>March '08:</b> 13st 7lbs (189lbs)
#9
Posted 04 November 2007 - 03:09 PM
<!--quoteo(post=169306:date=Aug 10 2007, 11:03 AM:name=Legion)--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (Legion @ Aug 10 2007, 11:03 AM) <a href="index.php?act=findpost&pid=169306"><{POST_SNAPBACK}></a></div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec--><!--fonto:Arial--><span style="font-family:Arial"><!--/fonto--><!--coloro:#483D8B--><span style="color:#483D8B"><!--/coloro--><!--sizeo:3--><span style="font-size:12pt;line-height:100%"><!--/sizeo-->So why the unholy flying purple donkeypunching fuck will it not work on yours? Just what kind of machine are you running there? Your toaster?<!--sizec--></span><!--/sizec--><!--colorc--></span><!--/colorc--><!--fontc--></span><!--/fontc--><!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->
And the man again!
<!--quoteo(post=180859:date=Jan 16 2008, 02:29 PM:name=Legion)--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (Legion @ Jan 16 2008, 02:29 PM) <a href="index.php?act=findpost&pid=180859"><{POST_SNAPBACK}></a></div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec-->In my opinion it's saying, fuck the lightsabers and special effects and fuck your voiceovers and fuck your stupid multimilliondollar game studios; you don't need any of those to make brilliant and scary games that will fuck with your head.<!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->
<u><!--sizeo:3--><span style="font-size:12pt;line-height:100%"><!--/sizeo--><!--coloro:#FF8C00--><span style="color:#FF8C00"><!--/coloro-->My Getting Huge Progress (Gym and weight gain diet)<!--colorc--></span><!--/colorc--><!--sizec--></span><!--/sizec--></u>
<b>May '07:</b> 11st (154lbs)
<b>August '07:</b> 12st 7lbs (175lbs)
<b>November '07:</b> 12st 9lbs (177lbs)
<b>December '07:</b> 12st 11lbs (179lbs)
<b>January '08:</b> 12st 12lbs (180lbs)
<b>Febuary '08:</b> 13st 2lbs (184lbs)
<b>March '08:</b> 13st 7lbs (189lbs)
#10
Posted 04 November 2007 - 07:39 PM
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#11
Posted 07 November 2007 - 06:55 AM
<!--quoteo(post=169306:date=Aug 10 2007, 11:03 AM:name=Legion)--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (Legion @ Aug 10 2007, 11:03 AM) <a href="index.php?act=findpost&pid=169306"><{POST_SNAPBACK}></a></div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec--><!--fonto:Arial--><span style="font-family:Arial"><!--/fonto--><!--coloro:#483D8B--><span style="color:#483D8B"><!--/coloro--><!--sizeo:3--><span style="font-size:12pt;line-height:100%"><!--/sizeo-->So why the unholy flying purple donkeypunching fuck will it not work on yours? Just what kind of machine are you running there? Your toaster?<!--sizec--></span><!--/sizec--><!--colorc--></span><!--/colorc--><!--fontc--></span><!--/fontc--><!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->
And the man again!
<!--quoteo(post=180859:date=Jan 16 2008, 02:29 PM:name=Legion)--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (Legion @ Jan 16 2008, 02:29 PM) <a href="index.php?act=findpost&pid=180859"><{POST_SNAPBACK}></a></div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec-->In my opinion it's saying, fuck the lightsabers and special effects and fuck your voiceovers and fuck your stupid multimilliondollar game studios; you don't need any of those to make brilliant and scary games that will fuck with your head.<!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->
<u><!--sizeo:3--><span style="font-size:12pt;line-height:100%"><!--/sizeo--><!--coloro:#FF8C00--><span style="color:#FF8C00"><!--/coloro-->My Getting Huge Progress (Gym and weight gain diet)<!--colorc--></span><!--/colorc--><!--sizec--></span><!--/sizec--></u>
<b>May '07:</b> 11st (154lbs)
<b>August '07:</b> 12st 7lbs (175lbs)
<b>November '07:</b> 12st 9lbs (177lbs)
<b>December '07:</b> 12st 11lbs (179lbs)
<b>January '08:</b> 12st 12lbs (180lbs)
<b>Febuary '08:</b> 13st 2lbs (184lbs)
<b>March '08:</b> 13st 7lbs (189lbs)