[rhino]

As with Episode I a couple weeks ago, I just re-watched Episode II for the first time since in the theaters. And again, I love the 64 (no, 82) Reasons to Hate Episode II, and again I have to add some new ones! It's harder for me to nitpick Episode II, though, because the movie's failings are so broad that I could just say "every scene with Anakin and Amidala," or "the entire robot factory scene." And I could go on and on about too little originality (you could make a drinking game based on how often a jedi gets parted with his lightsaber) or too much originality (after seeing a hover chariot, a hover wheelchair, and a hover robo-taxi, I find it odd when giant robotic-gun-things have to walk on four legs). But I'll just stick to my distaste for faulty dialogue....

1. Job Description Misunderstanding. As Amidala's decoy dies in the beginning, she says "I failed you." Um, no, actually you didn't... you did your job. What's the point of a decoy other than to be attacked or killed in the Senator's place? Could you imagine if someone tried to shoot our President, but a Secret Service agent took the bullet, and then as he died he said "I failed"? And then the President started to cry? Completely nonsensical.

2. Wait? What's My Brain For? From what I remember, the Force is about letting go and trusting your feelings. I think in Episode I, Qui Gon tells little orphan (to be) Ani to "Feel, don't think." But Episode II muddies everything up. Outside the nightclub, Obi-Wan tells Ani "Use the Force. Think!" Then when Yoda is embarrassing Obi-Wan in front of a bunch of kids, he says "Clear your minds. A thought?" Then later we learn Jedis can't love, but isn't love a feeling, which Jedis are supposed to trust?

3. Cliegg's Quick Peace Cliegg comes to peace about his dead wife apparently in a matter of seconds. He tells Ani that he'd still be out looking for her if his leg didn't need to heal. In the same monologue he says he doesn't want to give up hope, which means of course that he still has hope. Then, five seconds later, he delivers the line, "She's dead, son. Accept it." I suspect that while Ani goes flying off on the speeder bike, Cliegg is placing an ad in the personals.

4. Every Man's Dream There are so many bad lines in the Ani-Amidala romance, you can get kind of numb to it by the time that, going into the arena, Amidala gives in to Ani's many charms. To be honest, I think there's actually some surprisingly decent acting here as Ani is stunned to hear Amidala's confession of love. But wait! What is the big cause for Amidala's change of heart? After all her resistance? "I think our lives are about to be destroyed anyway." Wow. That's about as romantic as "Maybe if you were the last man on Naboo." I could now start into the fact that none of Amidala's behavior from that line forward indicates that she really did believe she was going to die, but I'll just stop here.....

[Bond]

1. Job Description Misunderstanding. As Amidala's decoy dies in the beginning, she says "I failed you." Um, no, actually you didn't... you did your job. What's the point of a decoy other than to be attacked or killed in the Senator's place? Could you imagine if someone tried to shoot our President, but a Secret Service agent took the bullet, and then as he died he said "I failed"? And then the President started to cry? Completely nonsensical.

The whole "decoy" thing was supposed to go off without a hitch. Unfortunately, there was a hitch: that big-ass bomb that blew up the ship. The decoy wasn't supposed to die.

2. Wait? What's My Brain For? From what I remember, the Force is about letting go and trusting your feelings. I think in Episode I, Qui Gon tells little orphan (to be) Ani to "Feel, don't think." But Episode II muddies everything up. Outside the nightclub, Obi-Wan tells Ani "Use the Force. Think!" Then when Yoda is embarrassing Obi-Wan in front of a bunch of kids, he says "Clear your minds. A thought?" Then later we learn Jedi can't love, but isn't love a feeling, which the Jedi are supposed to trust?

*Gumby voice*My brain hurts!*Gumby voice* You're missing the point. As Obi-Wan said, "Your eyes deceive you; don't trust them."

3. Cliegg's Quick Peace Cliegg comes to peace about his dead wife apparently in a matter of seconds. He tells Ani that he'd still be out looking for her if his leg didn't need to heal. In the same monologue he says he doesn't want to give up hope, which means of course that he still has hope. Then, five seconds later, he delivers the line, "She's dead, son. Accept it." I suspect that while Ani goes flying off on the speeder bike, Cliegg is placing an ad in the personals.

It's been a month since Shmi was kidnapped. The Tuskens are know to be vicious. Let's face it, everyone assumed Shmi was dead.

4. Every Man's Dream There are so many bad lines in the Ani-Amidala romance, you can get kind of numb to it by the time that, going into the arena, Amidala gives in to Ani's many charms. To be honest, I think there's actually some surprisingly decent acting here as Ani is stunned to hear Amidala's confession of love. But wait! What is the big cause for Amidala's change of heart? After all her resistance? "I think our lives are about to be destroyed anyway." Wow. That's about as romantic as "Maybe if you were the last man on Naboo." I could now start into the fact that none of Amidala's behavior from that line forward indicates that she really did believe she was going to die, but I'll just stop here.....

Well, that's GL's wonderful dialogue for you.

[Despondent]

It's been a month since Shmi was kidnapped. The Tuskens are know to be vicious. Let's face it, everyone assumed Shmi was dead.

And still nobody cares.

[Bond]

Except me, perhaps.

[georgelucas4greedo]

These are the most minor scenes to get pissed about. In the grand scheme of the trilogy, these scenes mean nothing.

[Bond]

And what are your feelings about scripting nitpicks, hmmm?

[rhino]

In the grand scheme of the trilogy, these scenes mean nothing.

Unfortunately, I suspect George Lucas had the same attitude while writing the script. Sorry, but as someone who loves films and has even worked on a film, dialogue actually matters to me. I have many big complaints about Episode II too, but they've probably all been said already in this forum. I just wanted to note a few examples, that occurred to me when I re-watched the film this past week, of how much it seems like no one on the production side ever stopped to ensure that they had a good script.

Besides, didn't I admit in the title of my post that I was nitpicking? Sheesh.

[Bond]

I feel AOTC would have benefited greatly from the addition of the Naberrie family scenes. They would have improved the film a whole lot.

[Toru-chan]

... that occurred to me when I re-watched the film this past week, of how much it seems like no one on the production side ever stopped to ensure that they had a good script.

Part of the problem was that no one could. Lucas only hired gushing yes-men. I don't think he seriously is interested in anyone else's opinions. Did anyone on the set second guess it? I'd love to know? (Hey Barend: You're in Sydney? Did you know anyone that worked on these?) But if they did they would have kept their opinions to themselves. Lucas began ROTJ by firing those on the staff who didn't kiss his ass during TESB.

Besides, didn't I admit in the title of my post that I was nitpicking? Sheesh.

Yeah. There are no mods here, so let's keep it all relaxed and friendly. Leave the shouting, screaming and one-handed typing to the force.net fanboys.

[Bond]

If you're counting Gary Kurtz in with those GL fired for not kissing his pudgy ass, that's only because Kurtz is the reason Empire went over-budget. Lucas was going to use the profits from TESB to build Skywalker Ranch; in his post-wrap vengeance, he threw Kurtz off the lot and severed all ties with him.

EDIT: 800 posts! W00t!!!

This post has been edited by Bond: 28 July 2007 - 12:49 AM

[Toru-chan]

If you're counting Gary Kurtz in with those GL fired for not kissing his pudgy ass, that's only because Kurtz is the reason Empire went over-budget.

Yes. If only Empire had turned a profit, maybe Lucas would have forgave Kurtz and Kersher. :-)

That secrethistoryofstarwars.com has background on this.

[Bond]

Well, seeing as Lucas didn't want Jedi to go over budget, well...

And, for your information, I have read The Secret History of Star Wars; that's where I'm getting my information from, aren't I?