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Lobstahs From FedEx Thursday, March 23, 2006

#1 User is offline   Chefelf Icon

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Posted 23 March 2006 - 08:29 PM

I have been the proud owner of a ReplayTV for over two years now. I have this device for two reasons: 1.) To not have to watch regular TV ever for any reason and 2.) To never have to watch commercials again. Being able to skip ahead in 30 second increments cuts down commercial breaks to a little over two seconds.

Sometimes I forget to skip the commercials because I am otherwise caught up in important business like reading or drinking coffee. When this happens I find myself in the unenviable position of having to watch some pretty dreadful commercials.

The most recent crappy commercial I've had to witness is this piss poor FedEx commercial where there are these two guys on a lobster boat and they're talking about something. It wasn't until the end of the commercial that I discovered that they were trying to do some sort of New England accent, probably Bostonian. The thing is that they are doing such a crummy job of this that even with the lobsters, the fishing apparel and the New England landscape I still couldn't detect what kind of accent they were attempting.

Not since Good Will Hunting has the Boston accent been butchered so heinously. That movie was exceptional in that both Ben Affleck and Matt Damon supposedly grew up in Boston.

At the beginning of the commercial I thought that maybe they were making an attempt at some variety of British accent. When I discerned that they were not doing a Scottish or Irish accent (and with the absence of kilts and/or bagpipes) I knew that it was certainly Boston that they were trying to emulate.


"Hey, how 'bout these lobstahs?"


Even more confusing (and insulting) is that the men are surrounded by lobsters who are gripping and clawing them. These men are so dumb (presumably from being from Boston: the land of moron fisherman and lobster hunters) that they pay little mind to these creatures as they sink their pincers and claws into their tender flesh as they find purchase and climb up their pudgy bodies.


"The wohld is a wundahful place. Now git these durned lobstahs offa me!"


So there you have it: A brilliant commercial that makes a sweeping generalization that everyone in New England is a lobster herder who lives on a boat and speaks in the world's worst Boston accent. The generalizations I am okay with (in fact, I encourage them) but for God's sake, FedEx, get someone who can do a passable accent in your next production. When in doubt, at the very least, mimic a poorly done Ted Kennedy accent and you'll be all set.
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#2 User is offline   Deepsycher Icon

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Posted 24 March 2006 - 12:01 AM

I read some time ago how ReplayTV was taken to court for the commercial skipping feature and the caught up between Sonic Blue. At the moment my concerns are based on picture quality, for the picture quality on yours do you notice any lines, blocks and colour fading?

This post has been edited by Deepsycher: 24 March 2006 - 12:09 AM

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Posted 24 March 2006 - 09:43 AM

QUOTE (Chefelf @ Mar 23 2006, 08:29 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
When in doubt, at the very least, mimic a poorly done Ted Kennedy accent and you'll be all set.


Its ok to talk like a Kennedy, just don't drive like one.
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#4 User is offline   J m HofMarN Icon

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Posted 24 March 2006 - 11:25 PM

Speak like John, Keep to your guns like Jack, and party like Ted!

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#5 User is offline   Chefelf Icon

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Posted 25 March 2006 - 10:58 AM

QUOTE (Deepsycher @ Mar 24 2006, 12:01 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I read some time ago how ReplayTV was taken to court for the commercial skipping feature and the caught up between Sonic Blue. At the moment my concerns are based on picture quality, for the picture quality on yours do you notice any lines, blocks and colour fading?


The quality's pretty good. You can choose what quality level you want. There are a few hiccups and sometimes when it's a little bit pixelated but you can switch up to a higher quality level if you want. I could care less about the picture quality overall, I just like the flexibility of it.
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#6 User is offline   Otal Nimrodi Icon

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Posted 25 March 2006 - 11:23 AM

Are you sure they weren't Maine accents? They sound like poorly done Boston accents. And Maine has a bigger Lobster fishing industry. And about Affleck and Damon, it's possible that they grew up in Boston in a part without the accents. Or maybe their families didn't use them. I don't have a Boston accent, poorly done or otherwise, and I lived there for ten years.

This post has been edited by Otal Nimrodi: 25 March 2006 - 11:25 AM

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Posted 26 March 2006 - 12:01 PM

Having done the exact same thing with my Tivo..... They are most definatly Maine accents. Pretty good ones at that. I have fortunatly stopped the commecial in its tracks though, and will now commence with fast forwarding.

This post has been edited by srmoore: 26 March 2006 - 12:02 PM

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Posted 26 March 2006 - 10:04 PM

You have more then two accents? I always thought you had the North accent, and the deep south accent. Shows how much I know.
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#9 User is offline   Otal Nimrodi Icon

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Posted 26 March 2006 - 10:10 PM

We've got a Deep South accent, all of our imigrant accents, and the Maine/Boston accents are pretty close. Then we've got the accent I use. I call that a bland accent, because I enunciate every word as close as I've been tought, or mumble.
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#10 User is offline   Chefelf Icon

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Posted 27 March 2006 - 12:39 AM

I dunno... I think they're pretty shabby Maine accents. To me it sounds like they're trying to do lousy Boston accents. Clearly they're SUPPOSED to be Maine accents but they're pretty lousy.
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Posted 30 March 2006 - 02:49 PM

Only two accents for our entire country? I wish! There's at least a dozen different accents in Louisiana alone!
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Posted 31 March 2006 - 01:13 AM

Yeah, but we only ever hear two on TV. It's not like the brits who have a huge variety. But then again, that could be because I meet so many more people with British accents than American that I see a greater variety. Oh, migrant accents don't count, and don't try to be clever by saying that the british migrated etc. You know what I mean tongue.gif
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#13 User is offline   J m HofMarN Icon

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Posted 31 March 2006 - 03:16 AM

Here in Virginia there's the black or home boy accent (also being taken up by just about anyone that wants to be hip), then you have your normal talkers, your southern talkers, and your holler talkers, who come from somewhere off in the mountains and say stuff like "winders" or "critters" or "yall"

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#14 User is offline   barend Icon

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Posted 11 April 2006 - 11:26 PM

so wait, what, i can get lobsters fedexed?

while i'm at it , why is Kevin Klien the only american who does a passable australian accent? (and a good one too)
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Posted 12 April 2006 - 06:54 AM

QUOTE (barend @ Apr 11 2006, 11:26 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
so wait, what, i can get lobsters fedexed?

while i'm at it , why is Kevin Klien the only american who does a passable australian accent? (and a good one too)


Yes, "Federally Executed" or "Fed Up and Then Execucted." Shamefully I do not know much about accents but hopefully after learning and practice I may be able to generate most voices I hear.

This post has been edited by Deepsycher: 12 April 2006 - 07:00 AM

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