[Despondent]

Oh gosh, now I wanna rent it!! Or should I spend the money renting TPM and buying the MST3K audio track????

[georgelucas4greedo]

Holy fuck... I hadn't seen this movie since I was a kid and now watching it again... It really displays every bit of George Lucas weirdness, stuff that was only hinted at in Star Wars. In what way is this stuff acceptable?

Umm, giant vampire bats anyone? Those were frigging giant fruit bats, flying foxes if you will. There is no way in the history of evolution that a bat that big would be able to land on its prey and suck it dry without disturbing it.

Furthermore, considering most Indians are Hindus, they would not eat monkeys as vegetarianism is the path to enlightenment.

Dont get me started on the raft out of the plane scene.

[J m HofMarN]

I'd missed the link between Hindis and vegetarianism, should have thought of that. And catching the idiocy of "giant vampire bats" was a spark of brilliance. Good show!

[Just your average movie goer]

JYAMG- I think there pretty much was a family in this one between Indy, Screamy McScream, and Short Round

Yeah, that was my point. You didn't need an archaelogist for this particular adventure.

There is absolutely no archaelogy in this film. Nobody does any research on the whereabouts on an ancient artifact and nobody makes any logical serach for one.

Indy should be out in the field with maps, shovels, notebooks and surveying equipment... or at the very least he should be swiping this stuff from the Nazis he's racing against.

No Nazis... I mean, what kind of Indiana Jones film is THAT?

[Despondent]

No Nazis... I mean, what kind of Indiana Jones film is THAT?


I was groaning at club obi-wan. Who WASN'T?

[Lord Aquaman]

Anyone around here think "Temple of Doom" - or "Temple of Dumb" as is the popular name for it - ruin Kate Capshaw's career?

[J m HofMarN]

"at the very least he should be swiping this stuff from the Nazis he's racing against."

That brings up an interesting point. Its understood that this movie lacked nazis, and is far worse for it, but it also lacked any tangible race as well. In both other films Indy needs to get to X before the nazis do. In this one there's no deadline. There wasnt even a mention that they were anywhere near to unearthing the next two out of five stripey rocks which would allow them to do..... something.

Indy just wanders around and has plenty of time to dine on snake and spider and monkey brains, and then he finds the rocks conveniently left out. The other two magic rocks are never found. But there is never any sense of urgency to the procedings. If Indy hadnt gotten to the temple when he did the village would still be just as fucked, and thered still be people digging around in a pile of rocks for some other rocks. The Nazis wouldnt rule the world, the bad guy wouldnt kill his dad, nope, thered just be some kids digging for rocks. Hell, he could have gone to Delhi, sent the bitch back (keep the kid, he was actually useful) and then gone back to get the silly rocks. As I said, the plot is based around a sidequest. Maybe thats why it sucks so much, Indy was just like "Bugger me, I'd better get through with this, I have to get to this guy's mansion to talk about the holy grail"

[Just your average movie goer]

Worse than that, it's a completely predictable side-quest too. When Indy arrives at the village, the whole plot is laid out for us by the old man...

"Bad guys kidnapping our kids. They stole our stones. Go to their palace, deal with those bad guys, rescue our kids and bring back our stones."

And then for the rest of the movie, we watch through disinterested eyes (or between channel flicking) as all of this slowly drags out.

Compare that to Raiders of the Lost Ark - we didn't know where in the city of Tanis the ark was going to be. We didn't know the well of the souls was going to be filled with snakes. We didn't know that Indy was going to be tailed by the Nazis from the get-go or that Beloq was working with them.

But in this sorry excuse of a wasted two hours, we don't even get a hint of mystery. I mean, couldn't they have least held off telling us where the bad guys were until at least fifteen minutes into the movie?

"Bad guys have kidnapped our children."

"My god. Do you know where they might have taken them?"

"Yeah. They live at the palace of Pankrot. There they have an underground temple where they dress up in silly costumes and kill prisoners in slow and sadistic methods. But by day, you can find them in the main hall of the palace eating monkey brains. Here, I'll give you a map of the place and you can also take some of my men as guides."

[georgelucas4greedo]

So true Horfman. Its like Indy saves day for who? A bunch of villagers in some secluded village in India. Who cares and why is Indy the only person that can do it?

[J m HofMarN]

Personally I'd like to see a sequel to this movie following the cooky exploits of the Jones family when they get home:

Indy: Argh... stubbed... toe... cant... move...

Shorty: It's ok, I somehow know that pinching your nose will fix that completely.

Indy: You're the best, kid... What's your mom doing?

Screamy: AAAAAAAAAAH! Indy! Laundry... all around me! Shriek! Shriek!

Indy: Jesus woman, it's just some of shorty's clothes, I think he had like two shirts in there. And you know I never take off any of my clothes... Go make something for dinner alright?

Screamy: SHRIEK! SHRIEK! THERE'S FOOD IN HERE!

Indy: Yeah it's probably poisoned. But don't worry, my friend came over to hold the antidote up and then drop it so that hijinks can ensue.

Indy's friend: Hi! ARGHFUCK I've been shot!

Screamy: Shriek!

Shorty: On a completely unrelated subject, someone stole my power rangers dolls and I cant find the fruit loops, but they should be in the right hand counter. Could you go and get them?

Indy: To do that I'll have to jump out this window and probably get tortured a good bit... But sure, it's a worthy cause.

Screamy: Shriek! But we're on the thirtieth floor!

Shorty: Don't worry, Indy has a life preserver that will somehow stop his fall!

This post has been edited by J m HofMarN: 18 June 2007 - 11:42 PM

[Lord Aquaman]

Personally I'd like to see a sequel to this movie following the cooky exploits of the Jones family when they get home:

Indy: Argh... stubbed... toe... cant... move...

Shorty: It's ok, I somehow know that pinching your nose will fix that completely.

Indy: You're the best, kid... What's your mom doing?

Screamy: AAAAAAAAAAH! Indy! Laundry... all around me! Shriek! Shriek!

Indy: Jesus woman, it's just some of shorty's clothes, I think he had like two shirts in there. And you know I never take off any of my clothes... Go make something for dinner alright?

Screamy: SHRIEK! SHRIEK! THERE'S FOOD IN HERE!

Indy: Yeah it's probably poisoned. But don't worry, my friend came over to hold the antidote up and then drop it so that hijinks can ensue.

Indy's friend: Hi! ARGHFUCK I've been shot!

Screamy: Shriek!

Shorty: On a completely unrelated subject, someone stole my power rangers dolls and I cant find the fruit loops, but they should be in the right hand counter. Could you go and get them?

Indy: To do that I'll have to jump out this window and probably get tortured a good bit... But sure, it's a worthy cause.

Screamy: Shriek! But we're on the thirtieth floor!

Shorty: Don't worry, Indy has a life preserver that will somehow stop his fall!

Hehe, that's pretty funny.

The mystery: how did Harrison Ford's tuxedo shrink enough to fit Kate Capshaw?

[Just your average movie goer]

Also don't forget that since this movie is supposed to be set a year or so before "Raiders of the Lost Ark", it's technically Lucas' first prequel.

Considering that it has been floating around for about twenty years, we should have known the 'Star Wars' prequels would be rubbish.

We had been warned.

[J m HofMarN]

By the way, another thing I just realized about this movie, is that it was insane from the start. Indy, in the first few minutes, kidnaps a woman, and is revealed to have pretty much kidnapped a child and encouraged him to drive illegally. And the coolest part of the film is the fact that after killing Indy's unknown foreign antidote friend, the bad guy never suffers any ill effects at all. Infact, that plot line is never wrapped up in the least.

Also, I know its evil to kidnap children and make them work in a mine, but I don't think the end goal of these crazies was evil. Werent they after silly stripey rocks? If I were evil and looking for some rocks in a rock quarry, I think I'd hire adults who could carry heavier loads. Maybe make my legion of followers do it rather than standing about chanting while I pull out peoples hearts.

And another thing that gets me. The other two films rely not only on nazis, but on actual relics. Here's my idea of the prop guys job for each movie:

Arc: Gold shit, statues, sand, researching descriptions of the actual arc. Researching history of actual arc. Price: at least 1000 dollars.

Crucade: Researching grail legend, creating various prospective grails. Price, again, probably at least 1000 dollars.

Temple: Making up shit about rocks. Adding in names of hindu gods. Mentioning that they glow and have diamonds in them. Painting stripes on rocks. Price: 3.50

Could they have at least looked around and found an ACTUAL relic. I mean, surely eastern religions have relics. Howabout something Budha held, or maybe the Khaaba stone from Islam, the lance that poked Christ, some sort of aztec thing, anything that would require the use and creation of actual props and some believable story behind them.

This post has been edited by J m HofMarN: 22 June 2007 - 05:24 AM

[georgelucas4greedo]

Horfman! That was great. Only problem, your logic is too impeccable.

Average Movie Goer: never thought to make that link. Thats hilarious!

[Lord Aquaman]

Also don't forget that since this movie is supposed to be set a year or so before "Raiders of the Lost Ark", it's technically Lucas' first prequel.

Considering that it has been floating around for about twenty years, we should have known the 'Star Wars' prequels would be rubbish.

We had been warned.

Y'know, I never really understood why Temple of Doom was set a year before Raiders of the Lost Ark - or how in the span of that time Indy forgot the lesson he learned at the end of the Temple fiasco: don't mess with or underestimate objects of some religious importance.