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Outrageous Claims To Fame Another stupid game

#1 User is offline   Heccubus Icon

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Posted 25 May 2007 - 10:18 PM

Just make an outrageous, and most likely false, claim about yourself. The point is to just be stupid, and make people laugh.


I invented flour, granite, and those little red bits in the middle of olives. And books? That was all me.

This post has been edited by Heccubus: 25 May 2007 - 10:18 PM

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#2 User is offline   Deepsycher Icon

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Posted 25 May 2007 - 10:23 PM

One time I went round whipping people.

...with whipping cream.
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#3 User is offline   Cyzyk Icon

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Posted 26 May 2007 - 12:19 AM

When I was nine years old, I cut down a pair of full-grown trees with a rusty half-hatchet and a hacksaw blade, no handle.
Tolerance is another word for Apathy
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#4 User is offline   Despondent Icon

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Posted 26 May 2007 - 12:38 AM

No matter how fast I drive, there's always a slow car ahead of me down the road.

This post has been edited by Despondent: 26 May 2007 - 12:40 AM

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#5 User is offline   Heccubus Icon

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Posted 26 May 2007 - 12:48 AM

I once saw the moon bleed.
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Posted 26 May 2007 - 02:45 AM

My record for 'most elephants eaten in one sitting' is 56 1/2.
i invented Holy Water.
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Posted 26 May 2007 - 03:14 AM

I am the only man alive to have successfully performed a triple coronary bypass surgery on a tick.
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#8 User is offline   Al Creed Icon

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Posted 26 May 2007 - 07:59 AM

I can crush peanuts and almonds with my mind. No walnuts, though.
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Posted 26 May 2007 - 08:09 AM

I once challenged God to a game of chess... And won.
Want a Tarot reading?

PM me, we'll talk.
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#10 User is offline   Slade Icon

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Posted 26 May 2007 - 03:03 PM

I once solved a Sphinx' riddle and was given a flat tire on my Corvette for my troubles. I also invented the black hole in the center of the universe and have crossed the longest part of Niagra Falls on a high-wire, bouncing on a pogo stick.
This space for rent. Inquire within.
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#11 User is offline   Jane Sherwood Icon

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Posted 26 May 2007 - 04:45 PM

By Divine Mandate of the Ancient and Mighty Goddess of Madness and Head Injuries (and Finding Small, Interesting-Looking Tidbits In Random Places in her spare time, and Needless Capitalization of Ordinary Words to Emphasize Importance every fourth Saturday):

I am the Queen of Squirrels.

And Various Other Small But Potentially Menacing Furry Animals.

And as such, you must give me offerings of delicious crunchy foodstuffs and shiny objects or face my wrath.
Check out my crappy drawings!

Chyld is an ignorant slut.

QUOTE
"I don't have to conform to the vagaries of time and space; I'm a loony, for God's sake!"
- Campbell Bean (David Tennant), Takin' Over the Asylum, 1994
XD
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#12 User is offline   Deepsycher Icon

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Posted 26 May 2007 - 06:24 PM

Hope this is okay:

I go round making outrageous claims to flame.
I went round doing the same.
Which roughed up so lame.
It caused a lot of pain.
To stop refraining.
On what was remaining.
About being sane.
Then I took a plane.
With great shame.
About not obeying.
I took a cane.
For the frail cain.
Teacup on sailing.
That suddenly failed.
And help mailed.
But got nailed.
By my nails.
In the shade.
That didn't fade.
When I laid.
Down the hate.
In my aid.
Which a whale.
Gave me a sail.
To the pale rails.
Of the gails.
I then hailed.
And made tails.
To make tales.
For my maid.
I certainly made.
Stay for cravings.
For a shaving.
Onto the shaver.
And the blaze.
From the sage.
Of the blazer.
Made me shake.
Trying on later
With a baby.
Was a maybe.
As a male.
Require many trainers.
Stopped lay in's
With the phrase.
By such caring.
I am crazy.
Being so lazy.

This post has been edited by Deepsycher: 26 May 2007 - 06:28 PM

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#13 User is offline   Otal Nimrodi Icon

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Posted 26 May 2007 - 10:24 PM

I have more hats than all of Victorian London! I'm KING of superheroes. I snap my fingers and make a sonic boom! I invented jazz, rock, and blues music all at once. And Global Warming? That's just 'cause I have a fever. I was the first one to show a succubus chopsticks. I can kill you with my mind and then eat you for dinner in under ten seconds.
Want a Tarot reading?

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Posted 26 May 2007 - 10:48 PM

I hate kittens.
I am writing about Jm in my signature because apparently it's an effective method of ignoring him.
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#15 User is offline   Deepsycher Icon

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Posted 26 May 2007 - 11:05 PM

Hey look at me I found 20 cents I didn't realize I had.
but I don't know why they call me a Magpie.
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