[Doctor X]

Reason #71
More Utilities

I've been able to infer from comments elsewhere on the site and the fact that you'd make such an in-depth analysis of this film that you either do or have played D&D. Rope and grappling hook are simple basic adventuring gear, right up there with two weeks of Iron Rations. Yes, everybody DOES have them! Did you ever play a character who didn't? Neither have I.

Reason #72
Only in a Video Game
When Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon are chasing Darth Maul they come across this one corridor that is a series of seven or eigth shield generated walls that turn on and off in a specific pattern. This is cool except that it is a scenario that would only ever exist in a video game.

Not only this, but when they finally actually PUT the scene in a video game, it was a cinematic, and in the game, Darth Maul actually says "Die, Jedi, Die." Thus shattering the whole "Phantom Menace"-ness of it all.

Reason #73
Anakin's Crash
Anakin just happens to crash into the main Trade Federation ship/command center. When there he accidentally releases two proton torpedos directly into the power core of the ship and then accidentally flies out of the hangar bay. All the droids on Naboo then loose power. Oh, for silly luck!

Again, utter agreement. Between the droids, the Gungans, Anakin's Gilligan moments, and all the clever references to the previous films, I'm amazed that Lucas managed to throw in something as intricate as Palpatine's power bid into the story.

Reason #74
Obi-Wan's Recovery

What amazed me even more than this was the "Darth Maul is soooooo cool" thing that's still in the undercurrent of pop culture, even after he got taken down by a move that Ray Charles would've seen coming. It's like being a fan of the guy with the big scimitar in Raiders of the Lost Ark.


Reason #75 & #76

Agreement here as well. Sad that Lucas tried to squeeze all his foreshadowing into this film. What's there to reveal in the third chapter? That Anakin becomes Vader? That Palpatine is the Emperor? The only plot twist left open is if Jar Jar is Luke and Leia's father.


Reason #77
A Static Ending

The static electricity thing didn't kill this scene for me so much as the music playing. Every time someone puts the film on now, when this scene comes on, I go into "Can you tell me how to get...how to get to Sesame Street?"


Reason #78
Back to the Classics
After the glorious sphere presentation, everyone stands around and mugs for the camera, R2-D2 hops around and chirps and in all other ways it just emulates Episode IV. The Disappointment finally ends but the blatant rip-off reminds you of Star Wars Episode IV and the good 'ol days when movies only had a few minor flaws and not 78 major ones!

And once again, Chewie doesn't get a medal.


Final thoughts on Episode I: For years, Hitchhiker's Guide fans pestered Douglas Adams to write another book. He'd wanted to move on, he'd done two excellent Dirk Gently books, but still, they wouldn't relent, so he finally wrote "Mostly Harmless" and killed off Arthur Dent just to shut people up. I think that's what we're seeing in the prequel trilogy, only in this case, Lucas has only himself to blame. Back when he was a young film maker and had just been given a huge budget to make his space epic, he said to himself "And I'll call it Episode IV, so people will wonder about what happened in the first three, yeah!" It's a classic mistake of youth, thinking The Rest Of Your Life is going to be just a couple days. Twenty years of "When're you gonna do the first three films" later, he says to himself "Fuck it, let's just throw something together and be done with it!"
If there's a lesson to be learned here it's that one should keep the difference between "Leave them wanting more" and "Leave them demanding more" in mind.

That or the "doddering old man stuck in the 50s" theory.

[Jordan]

Doctor X, next time why don't you just put all this in microsoft word, and then upload the file to the site, or ask Chef too.

[Doctor X]

I just may do that. I started on one for Episode II, but it kinda tapered off as George gave me less and less to work with.

[Jordan]

That way I can print them and read them in full. I have Chef's reason's stored away in a dossier, under the name, Humour from the net.

I collect quality reviews like the 78 reasons to hate... My other favorite writing is a Brittney Spears Album review. I got to find the address for that and show it to you guys.