[Helena]

Yeah, I know this thread should technically be in the 'Expanded Universe' forum... but I'm putting it here anyway. So there. Anyway, the subject is simple: For all you 'Knights of the Old Republic' fans, imagine that the game had been written and produced by Lucas rather than the good folks at Bioware. Once you've finished whimpering and hiding under the bedclothes, ask yourself this: what kind of changes would you expect to see?

A few of my own suggestions:
- At least one major character replaced by a Gungan.
- Bastila now wears skimpy, flesh-revealing clothing (despite the fact that she's supposed to be a Jedi) and changes her outfit at least once per planet, including a sexy leather number for the torture scene with Malak.
- We discover that Carth and Calo Nord used to play football together when they were both eight years old. Meanwhile, Sasha (the little girl who stows away on board your ship) turns out to be Master Vrook's illegitimate grandchild.
- After managing to avoid detection by the Sith, discover that Bastila is a Vulkar prisoner, find the stolen swoop engine, gain sponsorship for the race and become the Taris swoop champion, Revan discovers that he's Force-sensitive... when a drop of his blood accidentally falls onto Bastila's Midichlorian detector.
- Dialogue in the Revan/Bastila 'kiss' scene now even worse than it was in the original game. (I know it's hard to imagine, but this is Lucas we're talking about...)

[David-kyo]

Well, perhaps, Ewoks saving the day at the civil war scene? Or was that in KotOR 2?

[Gobbler]

Malak shoots first, then draws a lightsaber or does whatever it is he's doing.

HK-47 discovers that he can fly somewhere along the way.

You're not actually going around slaying people to get somewhere, you just search for unimportant seeming and not very well guarded exhaust-shafts with a kickarse bazooka on your shoulder.

There's gonna be sand. Lots of it, actually. And you're not gonna like it and bitch and moan about it on almost every occasion.

Malak doesn't like sand, too, by the way. And he turns out to be a big motherloving whussy in a flashback-scene that deals with his history.

Some old jerk with a messed up face and a weird costume tries to lure you to the dark side all of the time, by reminding you why it's better to stay at the light side just when you're about to break.

Wookies. Well, there ain't much about them, but for some reason, they always end up asking you whether you've seen a girl named "Jane". Weird people.

Somebody's gonna shout NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! at some point. Maybe it's even you.

This post has been edited by Gobbler: 04 December 2006 - 05:22 PM

[Vesuvius]

Already, good things have been typed!

A member of your party IS Han Solo's dad. Despite the fact that this story takes place 4000 years before the Battle of Yavin. You don't have supporting characters like Canderous or HK-47 because Lucas doesn't like the fact that you're friends with killers! If there was a Mandalorian in your group, it would be something absurd like Snoopy Fett. (and he's a total ding-dong!) He ends up getting you in worse possitions than the game intended. On top of the lame characters in your party, you do meet up with a guy that seems pretty heroic at first, and then it hits you, he was modled after George Forman, and yes, his weapon is the Grill with Bun Warmer.

Instead of a villain who has a name that cleverly means something (malak meaning jaw), we have Darth Serious. Okay, so he's... serious. Of course he has the red lightsaber, can use it pretty well, but is shaped like a dildo, to pay homage to Count Dooku's lightsaber... Ah, but get this, he's actually Revan's son! And Revan is only 24 years old but Darth Serious is like 40! Somehow this all makes sense to Lucas.

The only planets that you go to are: Tattooine, Naboo, Geonosis, Hoth, and the Death Star. There's not even a Star Forge in this and most people you interact with keep telling you to go to Cloud City, but it's not even an option!

After beating the game on the lightside ending because there is no choice of darkside, you unlock a bonus feature of in game commentary by George Lucas, Rick MacCollum, and Gary Coleman.