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Help Me I'm Stuck in Texas

#1 User is offline   Zewb Icon

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Posted 18 October 2006 - 07:51 PM

Help me, someone. I'm stuck in Texas. Gulf Coastal Texas. Shitty, sweaty, oily, nasty, grimy Texas. There's no jobs, weather's horrible, it's always hot and humid, the water is terrible, and it always smells like burning oil. Everyone here is very stupid and shallow and I don't fit in at all. I have a plan to escape, but I need someone's help. Here's the plan:

At precisely 3:14 PM, I stand on the roof of the Alamo and wildly fire a series of emergency flares in the air. Barend, you will acquire a Hind D helicopter, swoop in whilst firing rockets at nearby buildings to create a diversion, then lower a rope ladder to me. Cobnat and David Kyo will rapple from the helicopter to the roof armed with MP5k PDW machine guns and will begin to fire rounds at the police while I climb the rope ladder to safety. David and Cobnat will then detonate the explosives strapped to their bodies as to disguise the entire incident as a terrorist attack perpetrated by Muslim extremists whilst I am flown to New York to spend the next few years working a steady corporate job, while publishing a humorous comic strip for the local newspaper. When I hit it big by publishing the funniest comic strip ever making me millions of dollars, I will get married and live the rest of my days out in the peaceful Midwest, raising 3 beautiful children: Mikey-Mike, Squeak, and Hooter.

Let's fucking do this.
"It's gettin' to be re-goddamn-diculous. If you guys don't start thinking as men, we're gonna have a lousy country."

-John Wayne
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#2 User is offline   Icey Icon

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Posted 18 October 2006 - 07:53 PM

Or, you sell a kidney and move to Sweden for the money.
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#3 User is offline   Otal Nimrodi Icon

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Posted 18 October 2006 - 07:58 PM

I'll be the comic relief sidekick.
Want a Tarot reading?

PM me, we'll talk.
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#4 User is offline   David-kyo Icon

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Posted 19 October 2006 - 01:27 AM

Hey, when I say I love carnage, I mean that of other people. Count me out. sleep.gif
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#5 User is offline   Slade Icon

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Posted 19 October 2006 - 01:39 PM

Yeah. I can't endorse this because I'm not in it. tongue.gif

We also shouldn't be giving the government any more support on how we need supposed terror legislation. They'll just point at the incident and cry SEE? SEE?!
This space for rent. Inquire within.
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#6 User is offline   David-kyo Icon

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Posted 19 October 2006 - 03:02 PM

I have a better idea: get some of the hicks living around you totally drunk, give them guns, and point them towards Washington. I've seen it done on South Park before. I wonder who they're gonna bomb then. devil.gif
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#7 User is offline   Gobbler Icon

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Posted 20 October 2006 - 02:28 AM

I'm in, if you help me fighting Icey in return.

Quote

Pop quiz, hotshot. Garry Kasparov is coming to kill you, and the only way to change his mind is for you to beat him at chess. What do you do, what do you do?
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