Chefelf.com Night Life: The Fantastic Prequels - Chefelf.com Night Life

Jump to content

Star Wars Fan Convention

Page 1 of 1

The Fantastic Prequels Glad to hear GL was "just kidding!"

#1 User is offline   Kuma Icon

  • New Cop
  • Group: Junior Members
  • Posts: 15
  • Joined: 03-September 06
  • Country:Nothing Selected

Posted 01 October 2006 - 11:01 AM

My prescription for a better PT:

If only.

1) Anakin acted like a noble hero/intergalactic space knight/Buck
Rogers type to begin with, and not like a worst-parts version of
every other character who also happens to be visibly on a water slide to the Dark Side from day one.

We'd applaud at just how heroic and good he is and have a real
hero through three movies...a fully developed hero, with
occasional, SUBTLE hints that all is not right within. We would
all be enamored with just how brightly shines the star of Anakin
Skywalker. He'd have a charming and strong wife we all adore who
has a character and a life all her own. And the Jedi would NOT
have a problem with that.

As is, he is sort of like a droid someone cobbled together on a
junkyard desert planet and we have to wait three movies to at
least see "the Maker" finally put his covers on. He's got the
cockiness of Han without the charm; the whininess of Luke without
the compassion, and the skill of Obi-wan without any of the
wisdom. Oh, and the romantic flair of the psycopath in Silence of
the Lambs (It puts the lotion on...) and the maturity of Jar Jar.
I wouldn't care how many plot inconsistencies there were if only
the prequels were real movies with real characters that we care about.

Making Anakin a TRULY heroic character from the start would make it so much more tragic to see him finally fall. And would lend so much more weight to Luke's attempt to save the good man he once was.

As is, I don't see much worth saving. Only a whiny, annoyingly talented kid who even at best puts his own needs above those of everyone else, including those he cares about.

2) The Timothy Zahn idea of Padme dying in the arms of a masked Vader would have been incredibly powerful if visualized and acted correctly. This scene could single handedly have made Star Wars into art again. Heck if they released just this one three minute scene alone--if done correctly, there wouldn't even have been a need for the prequels.

Instead of Padme dying of a broken heart--the most trite and cliche BS I have ever had the misfortune of seeing--imagine a masked Vader with this frail little form gathered up in his arms--and all of us knowing that tiny woman was a character we had all come to love.

And that the masked, hard-breathing figure was once another character we had loved, now "seduced" to the Dark Side and twisted out of his original shape.

Maybe it could have been played something like the opening scene from Bram Stoker's Dracula, when D becomes a vampire. Incidentally that scene has a NOOOOoooooo!! that is about 10x more powerful than the one we got, because Gary Oldman utters it. I felt far more pathos while watching that scene, even though we only had about 2 minutes of exposition on Dracula's character up to that point. Even with a minimum of dialogue, we really feel this noble knight named Dracula has lost his true love. Having fallen to the Dark Side as a result, he will henceforth be known as COUNT Dracula.

Instead, in SW we got the two characters kind of going their separate ways before both of them "die."

I sort of had the impression that Padme "broke up" with Anakin in a very Melrose-place fashion before she went unconscious. They never even got to say goodbye in a tragic, heartfelt manner, it was more like,

Padme: Anakin, things aren't working out between us. You're going down a path I can't follow. I need time.

Anakin: It's my best friend, isn't it! When I followed you to the pool hall the other night you were with him!

Padme: *sigh*

Obi-wan: *poses in doorway of ship and hip-thrusts*

3) The Jedi should not have been such pricks! They were supposed to be the noblest, most valiant, and most powerful warriors/knights in the galaxy! Instead we get Yoda acting like he's on vacation in the Hamptons, a toned down Samuel Jackson who thumbs his nose at everyone and in my opinion FULLY DESERVES his death, a couple of hot council members, and a bunch of ones with nasal deformities that might have been interesting to know better had they had more than 1 line per movie. It's sad when only the villain can offer a logical basis for his philosophy, and the Jedi seem interested only in self-preservation.

Oh, and note to George Lucas: in the original films Yoda didn't ALWAYS reverse the order of his sentences. It wasn't like EVERY SINGLE SENTENCE must now be painfully forced into this trademark way of speaking. It was more like an "old sensei" accent, not a complete language unto itself.

4) A more minor point. In the OT, people were always fixing things. Han and Chewy work on the Falcon, Luke is always fishing around in his X-wing, putting together camps; even Leia gets in on the action in ESB welding the Falcon's supercharger back together or something. Everything had tons of sparking wires and conduits everywhere, including both Luke and Vader's hands. Stuff had feel and texture.

I can't recall a single instance of anyone working on anything in the PT. Everything was shiny and new and apparently the Empire didn't yet have a monopoly on aerospace manufacturing, because everything always seems to work perfectly. I guess that is because CGI models don't break down.

5) Speaking of broken things, Vader in the PT is NOT "more machine than man." He is a guy who lost his arms at the elbows and his legs at the knees. I dunno about you guys, but I always envisioned him more like Robocop. Perhaps even just a head with a brain and spinal cord and small fragments of his body left, not just some guy with major stumps left. It completely eliminates the reasoning behind the scene where Vader lifts the Rebel Captain off his feet in ANH because he'd have to do that using his "still human" shoulder and biceps muscles...oh I know, he was using the Force.

To quote a line from Robocop, "Lose the arm."

Wouldn't it have been so much cooler if Vader were really this tortured, truly cybernetic, entity who wasn't really much more than a few pounds of flesh on a table without his suit?

***

"Around the survivors, a perimeter create."

Okay, I feel better.

This post has been edited by Kuma: 01 October 2006 - 11:29 AM

0

#2 User is offline   Vesuvius Icon

  • Soothsayer
  • PipPipPipPip
  • Group: Members
  • Posts: 726
  • Joined: 30-July 06
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:The Crossroads
  • Country:United States

Posted 01 October 2006 - 12:28 PM

That was a great post. I like how you explained the premise of Dracula falling away. That's is similar to how I envisioned Vader falling away to the dark side as well. You nailed a lot of points right on the head. Very good.
0

#3 User is offline   civilian_number_two Icon

  • Canada's Next Top Model.
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • Group: Head Moderator
  • Posts: 3,382
  • Joined: 01-November 03
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:In Your Dreams
  • Interests:I like stuff.
  • Country:Canada

Posted 01 October 2006 - 02:46 PM

Point 2) is brilliance. Well done.
"I had a lot of different ideas. At one point, Luke, Leia and Ben were all going to be little people, and we did screen tests to see if we could do that." -George Lucas, in STAR WARS: the Annotated Screenplays (p197).
0

#4 User is offline   miladyblue Icon

  • Mini Boss
  • PipPip
  • Group: Junior Members
  • Posts: 152
  • Joined: 27-May 06
  • Country:United States

Posted 01 October 2006 - 11:52 PM

*Loud and enthusiastic applause, like I heard when I first saw Star Wars back in 1977*

GREAT post, Kuma!

QUOTE
Anakin acted like a noble hero/intergalactic space knight/Buck Rogers type to begin with


Yeah, that WOULD have been interesting. As mentioned by many of us, ad nauseum, there was little to like and even less to admire with the "hero" we ended up with.

QUOTE
and not like a worst-parts version of every other character who also happens to be visibly on a water slide to the Dark Side from day one.


EXACTLY!! It is like watching someone who started out as a small time petty thief as a kid working his way up to genocide-level crimes of a Hitler or Stalin. No mystery at ALL. "He fell to the dark side? Oh, well, we always knew he was a dickhead."

QUOTE
SUBTLE


Kuma, the whole problem is GL is just not very good at that. He has, in the words of Hawkeye from a memorable episode of MASH - "The gentle touch of a German Brass Band".

QUOTE
The Timothy Zahn idea of Padme dying in the arms of a masked Vader would have been incredibly powerful if visualized and acted correctly.


Again, the big problem here is ol' Georgie Porgie and his romantic "issues." Why would an apparently intelligent, strong woman be attracted to a whiny psychopath? Padme never struck me as the "prison groupie" type, the kind of woman who would marry an accused serial killer while he was on death row because he was "hot". And your other point, of "visualized and acted correctly" would definitely have meant the hiring of a superior director. Steven Spielberg, GL's long time best bud could have handled it beautifully. Hell, Ed Wood could have handled these movies better!

QUOTE
And that the masked, hard-breathing figure was once another character we had loved, now "seduced" to the Dark Side and twisted out of his original shape.


The final fall - awesome, Kuma! GL said, during pre-production of AotC, that we would see that SHE was responsible for speeding his downfall!

W!? T!? F!?

I don't recall Padme ever feeding him any kind of drug or chemical that could induce psychosis or psychopathy, and she CERTAINLY wasn't responsible for his alleged upbringing at the hands of the Jedi!

Of course, it would have meant that GL should have gone back to the original source that inspired Leia, a far superior character, and re-created Padme with some actual fucking backbone. Whenever Han acted like a jerk, Leia would take him to task for it - at least in ANH and ESB.

QUOTE
The Jedi should not have been such pricks!


You ain't just whistlin' Dixie! The fall of the Jedi was supposed to be a horrific victory for the dark side, and the end of the Republic and the golden age. Instead, we see a bunch of know it all assholes who richly deserved their destruction. Yoda, the wise master we had come to love in ESB was a total putz in his heyday. "Handed to you, your ass was. Deserved it, you did. Asshole you were!"


QUOTE
Perhaps even just a head with a brain and spinal cord and small fragments of his body left, not just some guy with major stumps left.


Fortunately, whatever brain Anakin had left after being fried was tossed back into the lava by Palpatine. That is the ONLY reason I can find for the Darth Vader we saw in the OT to have been so intelligent and masterful.

QUOTE
If only.


Sigh, you, me, and however many millions of other Star Wars fans.
0

#5 User is offline   Sailor Abbey Icon

  • Queen of the Harpies
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • Group: Members
  • Posts: 2,122
  • Joined: 29-March 05
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:the land of Huskies
  • Interests:Defending the forces of evil from the whiney forces of good; spreading awareness about violence and its ability to solve all problems - from the very smallest to the very stupid…est…; sticking up for the little guy, as long as the little guy shares my point of view or is willing to convert in exchange for some ‘sticking up for’; and of course, plotting world domination and putting and end to reality tv once and for all. <br /><br />Oh, and beautiful women.
  • Country:United States

Posted 02 October 2006 - 09:24 AM

QUOTE (Kuma @ Oct 1 2006, 12:01 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I wouldn't care how many plot inconsistencies there were if only
the prequels were real movies with real characters that we care about.


Amen!
0

#6 User is offline   mireaux7 Icon

  • Level Boss
  • PipPipPip
  • Group: Members
  • Posts: 475
  • Joined: 24-September 06
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:dallas, texas
  • Interests:art, tennis, films...esp foreign films-those are some of the best ones ive seen, video games, reading, travel.
  • Country:United States

Posted 02 October 2006 - 12:34 PM

as far as the previously mentioned "Timothy Zahn" idea,.of Padme dying in Vader's arms.... thats the way I sorta always envisioned episode III, before it came out last year.

Not saying that the way it is now is bad or anything

No..nothing could ever even be so worse as the way Zemeckis ended the Back to the Future trilogy.

(end of BTTF III)

Doc: "The future hasnt been written yet,..NO ONE'S HAS,..the future is whatever you make it,..so make it a good one!"

(really?..no one's future has been written yet?....hmmm,..then what was all that crap in BTTF II about Marty's kids?)

To quote a line from Yoda: "Dark and clouded the future is,..impossible to see"
QUOTE (njamilla @ Feb 23 2008, 08:16 AM)
Shit, Fuck, Piss: I had to say that because I can on this website. (Thanks Chef!)

QUOTE (chefelf @ Feb 23 2008, 10:30 AM)
That's what I'm here for.
0

#7 User is offline   barend Icon

  • Anchor Head Anchor Man
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • Group: Crappy News Team
  • Posts: 11,839
  • Joined: 12-November 03
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Nieuw Holland
  • Interests:The Beers of Western Europe, Cognac, and constantly claiming the world would have been a better place if Napoleon had won.
  • Country:Australia

Posted 02 October 2006 - 08:26 PM

Kudos to Kuma...

to add...

Anakin should have been 22-25 when the PT starts and 30-32 when it ends.

love the robocop call...

"he's more machine than man... well... in his boots and gloves anyway."
0

Page 1 of 1


Fast Reply

  • Decrease editor size
  • Increase editor size