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Bob Dylan Can Go To Hell Thursday, September 7, 2006

#61 User is offline   batalheiro Icon

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Posted 08 May 2007 - 01:30 PM

you can manipulate the obvious and turn it into anything you like, little spheres collide and little spheres become bigger spheres; go out into the sun, don´t let geometry dictate everything!

gnomes, rocks, big animals of purple all gather to make a line! meanwhile the wheel keeps turning and turning...
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#62 User is offline   Sailor Abbey Icon

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Posted 09 May 2007 - 06:54 AM

What the hell? mellow.gif
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#63 User is offline   David-kyo Icon

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Posted 09 May 2007 - 07:34 AM

Nevermind him, he's probably high.
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#64 User is offline   Buick-6 Icon

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Posted 16 September 2010 - 10:59 AM

View PostChefelf, on 07 September 2006 - 03:25 PM, said:

Yeah, that's right. Bob Dylan can go to hell. I have never been a big fan of the man. I tolerated him at a distance for most of my teen years and for all of my adult life. I've had a very mild appreciation for him existing and somehow inspiring some other really great artists. I have, however, generally had more admiration for the artists he inspired for being able to turn his influence into something better and more listenable. Also, I've always found this rule to be true:

<div align="CENTER">Song written by Bob Dylan and performed by Bob Dylan < Song written by Bob Dylan and performed by someone else</div>

There are too many examples to list them all but I will specifically mention "All along the watchtower" by Jimi Hendrix and "Knockin' on Heaven's Door" by just about anyone else as two prime examples of how others needed to summon genius to turn those two stinkers into what are generally regarded as great songs.

More so than his horrendous attempts at harmonica playing, terrible vocal work and average guitar playing it's his personality that really ruins him for me. I hate to have to invoke the curse word approach to get my point across but he's an asshole, a self-important, egotistical, holier than thou asshole.

The fact that nearly everyone in the world (and particularly people like the wankers at <i>Rolling Stone</i>) has elevated him <i>past</i> the status of living legend. He is considered to be something of a deity in the realm of pop music. For someone who lived past the age of thirty to have this level of praise and unconditional worship amongst music fans is unheard of.

A few weeks ago he did an interview with the wankers at <i>Rolling Stone</i> in which he made a bunch of comments about the state of modern music. To paraphrase the article: Bob Dylan's new album <i>Modern Times</i> is basically equivalent to finding a new gospel. He is the world's foremost genius and no one can deny that this is the best album in the world. To paraphrase what Dylan actually says in the article: all modern music is crap and technology is to blame. You can read the complete interview <a href="http://www.rollingstone.com/news/story/11216877/the_modern_times_of_bob_dylan_a_legend_comes_to_grips_with_his_iconic_status/1" target="_blank">here</a>. The article is largely a masturbatory celebration of how awesome it was to be in the same room with Bob Dylan for an hour and a half along with a few quotes from the Pope of music himself, Bob Dylan.

Here's a list of a few of the direct quotes from the article, straight from Dylan's big, fat, egotistical mouth:

<blockquote><b>Bob Dylan:</b> "But I know that those songs are just in my genes and I couldn't stop them comin' out."
<b>Translation:</b> I'm a pretentious asshole.

<b>Bob Dylan:</b> "I don't like to make records. I do it reluctantly."
<b>Translation:</b> I'm doing you all a huge favor by forcing myself to grace you all with my genius.

<b>Bob Dylan:</b> "I feel like nobody's gonna know how I should sound except me anyway, nobody knows what they want out of players except me, nobody can tell a player what he's doing wrong, nobody can find a player who can play but he's not playing, like I can. I can do that in my sleep."
<b>Translation:</b> I invented music and I'm the world's best at it.

<b>Bob Dylan:</b> "On this record I didn't have anybody to teach. I got guys now in my band, they can whip up anything, they surprise even me."
<b>Translation:</b> I am Bob Dylan. I am the greatest musician, nay, person on the face of the Earth. If any other musician can impress me, Bob Dylan, the holy father of all music then they must be <i>incredible</i>

<b>Bob Dylan:</b> "The records I used to listen to and still love, you can't make a record that sounds that way."
<b>Translation:</b> These whippersnappers today with their electric guitars and them <i>boom</i> boxes just don't know how great music used to be. Everything now is terrible. Everything from before was great. Except when they were saying that about me in the sixties.

<b>Bob Dylan:</b> "Brian Wilson, he made all his records with four tracks, but you couldn't make his records if you had a hundred tracks today."
<b>Translation:</b> It would be impossible to use only four tracks if you have one hundred available. The laws of mathematics prove this.

<b>Bob Dylan:</b> "We all like records that are played on record players, but let's face it, those days are gon-n-n-e. You do the best you can, you fight that technology in all kinds of ways, but I don't know anybody who's made a record that sounds decent in the past twenty years, really."
<b>Translation:</b> An enormous, temperature-sensitive disc of wax, prone to easy damaged and degrading in sound from the moment it is manufactured is infinitely superior to digital technology. Everyone in the world would prefer a record to a CD because it takes up much more space and is infinitely inferior in every way. That's just a fact, there's no way to prove what I just said wrong in any way. Also, as a side note, there has been no good-sounding music recordings in twenty years. I'm Bob Dylan, the older brother of Jesus Christ and God's <i>favorite</i> son and I have just said this therefore it is 100% true.

<b>Bob Dylan:</b> "You listen to these modern records, they're atrocious, they have sound all over them. There's no definition of nothing, no vocal, no nothing, just like -- static."
<b>Translation:</b> I do not know how to properly operate a CD player.

<b>Bob Dylan:</b> "Even these songs probably sounded ten times better in the studio when we recorded 'em."
<b>Translation:</b> Even songs that were written and recorded by me, Bob Dylan, the greatest musician in the world and son of Zeus do not sounding good using modern technology. If music by someone as amazing and outstanding as myself can't sound good then how could anyone else possibly stand a chance? After all, I'm Bob Dylan, the creator of everything good in the universe and personal mentor to God.

<b>Bob Dylan:</b> "CDs are small. There's no stature to it."
<b>Translation:</b> It is the size of CDs that affect sound. Records are bigger. Bigger is better. That's just common sense.

<b>Bob Dylan:</b> "I remember when that Napster guy came up across, it was like, 'Everybody's gettin' music for free.' I was like, 'Well, why not? It ain't worth nothing anyway.'"
<b>Translation:</b> Technology has ruined everything that is great in the world. Furthermore, I wish that people still died at the age of thirty and that we had to walk barefoot everywhere we go.</blockquote>

When I read this interview, a few weeks ago, I was filled with disgust. It was the same crap that Neil Young (who I actually enjoy) was spouting off about ten years ago. "CDs are evil, but I'm going to release them anyway. My lack of understanding about modern technology is lacking so I'm going to run my mouth about it making myself look like an ignorant fool, then release a CD with Pearl Jam!"

I was able to calm myself down by talking to my good friend, and professional audio-engineer, <a href="http://www.chefelf.com/forums/index.php?showuser=42" target="_blank">K1NGWARREN</a> and griping about how he's just an insufferable, pompous ass. After about thirty minutes of that I felt a little more relieved.

Then, the <i>unthinkable</i> happened...

I was watching TV when I saw this:

<div align="CENTER"><img src="http://www.chefelf.com/images/forums/bob_dylan_ipod_1.jpg" border="0" class="linked-image" /></div>

Ugh. How annoying. Bob "I hate technology" Dylan is clearly copping the style of an iPod commercial in efforts to plug his stupid new album, Modern Times. What an annoying hypocrite. Oh well, I thought, maybe whoever manages this ad campaign is jut trying to bite the iPod style to attract people. I guess I can't fault them for that.

<div align="CENTER"><img src="http://www.chefelf.com/images/forums/bob_dylan_ipod_2.jpg" border="0" class="linked-image" /></div>

Wait a second. Does that girl silhouette, dancing around, actually <i>have</i> an iPod?

<div align="CENTER"><img src="http://www.chefelf.com/images/forums/bob_dylan_ipod_3.jpg" border="0" class="linked-image" /></div>

It was at this point that I leapt to my feet and started screaming obscenities at the TV. With Dylan's <i>Rolling Stone</i> interview still fresh in my mind, this hit me while I was in a delicate mood.

I think that with this scientifically presented evidence it can clearly be asserted that Bob Dylan is the biggest asshole that the world has ever known. CDs apparently have no stature, but the iPod does, particularly when Apple is giving him a sizeable check to perform a yawn-inducing "blues" track from his shitty new album which he is also able to shamelessly plug at the same tune.

You're a rotten singer, Bob Dylan. Everyone's always known that. Just not half as rotten as you are as a human being.


I beg to disagree.
How can Bob Dylan be the biggest asshole in the world when youre taking up valuable space that could be used by a steaming pile of shit.
Talking of shit,take a few moments to clean the shit out of your ears........tosser.
Your 15mins of fame has passed,Bob on the other hand is still making great music after 50yrs.
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#65 User is offline   Gobbler Icon

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Posted 17 September 2010 - 02:14 AM

:lol:

Stoners, gotta love 'em.

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#66 User is offline   David-kyo Icon

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Posted 17 September 2010 - 08:56 AM

Strong arguments there, lad.
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#67 User is offline   civilian_number_two Icon

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Posted 19 September 2010 - 03:48 PM

You gotta love that. Guy goes out of his way to make a huge argument against digital technology, and then he advertises for it. A second guy takes the time to call him out on his bullshit. A third guy goes to the effort of creating a profile on an internet forum just so he can wax incoherent about how the second guy is stupid for being so articulate and for calling the first guy out on his hypocrisy.

I LOVE teh Inturneet!
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#68 User is offline   Jakedubbleya Icon

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Posted 09 October 2010 - 05:39 AM

I found this opinion post on a google search and I'm sorry for rehashing it but I just have to say that I remember reading that article in Rolling Stone and IMHO you misinterpreted it entirely. Bob Dylan was blaming artists for misusing technology, not technology itself. Nowhere in the article does Bob or the interviewer make the claim that Bob has a low-tech rig going on. In fact far from it, Time Out of Mind (Album of the Year '98) was a technological masterpiece. Bob Dylan is merely lamenting that modern music is misusing technology to dilute the focus of music.

But then again who really knows what Bob Dylan means, it has always been a tricky thing to peg Dylan as meaning any one thing. The man wrote the most influential protest songs of his era then said he never wrote a protest song in his life.

Christopher Ricks, co-director of the Editorial Institute at Boston University says "I don't think there's anybody that uses words better than he does." Dylan was also nominated for the Nobel prize in literature. The man has got some legitimate skills in communicating, or in his case, confusing, lol.

Recently Bob Dylan has been much more public, and I don't blame him, he has always been so secluded, it must be an adventure for him to let himself into the public eye a little in his old age and share himself with the world.

And if you still think Bob Dylan to be extraordinarily egotistical just read this snippet regarding an experience Eric Clapton had with him here.
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#69 User is offline   civilian_number_two Icon

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Posted 29 October 2010 - 12:52 AM

Ok, I read it. That article is entirely about Eric Clapton giving up drugs. Bob Dylan sitting on a couch hanging out with his family, not interacting with Clapton in any way, somehow inspired then-drug-addled Clapton to get clean. I don't see how that story proves that Dylan didn't say that CDs were the death of music, or any of the other self-promoting blowhard bullshit in that interview.

Come on, read it carefully. He waxes lyrical about the death of classic rock, all the while ignoring the truth that classic rock not only never went away, but that contemporary rock as well as other contemporary music is valuable. Failing to understand a generation doesn't mean the generation is incomprehensible.

That was probably not the most curmudgeonly, "everything from my time was better than everything from every other time" rant ever delivered, but it's gotta be in the top 100.

For the record, I was never a fan, but I do like "Like a Rolling Stone." Most of his other songs to me are nonsense weakened further by forced rhymes; for a similar vibe (minus the forced rhymes) I prefer Simon and Garfunkle and Leonard Cohen. Much better writing, generally more interesting subject matter, better music.

This post has been edited by civilian_number_two: 30 October 2010 - 03:32 AM

"I had a lot of different ideas. At one point, Luke, Leia and Ben were all going to be little people, and we did screen tests to see if we could do that." -George Lucas, in STAR WARS: the Annotated Screenplays (p197).
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#70 User is offline   J m HofMarN Icon

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Posted 15 December 2010 - 12:07 AM

Like A Rolling Stone and Memphis Blues were both pretty good Dylan songs, but for everything else Chef's rule holds true, other people do a lot better work with Dylan's poetry than he does.

Has anyone heard My Chemical Romance's version of Desolation Row? I love that song. Then I listened to Dylan's original version... ARGH WHY?

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#71 User is offline   Otal Nimrodi Icon

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Posted 05 February 2011 - 02:24 AM

What the fuck was that goth comment earlier about?

Anyway, I liked Dylan's "The Times They Are A Changin'"

But I agree.

He is kinda a pretentious dick.
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