Pluto Sucks And Is Not Welcome Here (He Knows What He Did) Thursday, August 24, 2006
#1
Posted 24 August 2006 - 11:54 AM
Strangely, the story could also be followed like that of a celebrity being accused of something immoral like, for example, sexual harassment or lewd conduct. It seems like more evidence, rumors and expert evaluation is being submitted for consideration every day
The headlines read as if Pluto has done something wrong. You would get the impression from reading the articles that Pluto is being 'demoted' from planet status not because of some change in the definition of a planet but rather for something offensive that Pluto has done to the other planets -- Earth in particular.
Here's a sampling of some actual headlines:
It's official--Pluto's out - CNET News.com, CA
Pluto demoted - CNET News.com
The case against Pluto - Ottawa Citizen
Pluto Poised for Demotion: Details of Thursday's Vote - LiveScience.com
Farewell, Pluto - Scientific American
Pluto stripped of planetary status - Guardian Unlimited
Pluto kicked out of planet club - Mail & Guardian Online
Each article is complete with artists renditions of what future oil paintings or graphic renderings of the 'new' solar system may look like.
Some articles are accompanied by an idiotic list of "fast facts" such as the ones below.
What was it that Pluto could have done? It's entirely possible that Pluto could have touched Neptune in a way that Neptune was not comfortable with.
Michael Brown -- the astronomer, not the former FEMA chief that everyone hates -- discovered the planet 2003 UB313 2003 and is upset about the whole situation. "When I was a kid, planets were special," he said. "This definition takes the magic out of the solar system." Some definitions that have been passed around would result in the solar system being host to more than twenty planets scattered from Mercury too beyond Pluto.
Using the presently accepted definition Pluto would lose its planet status. The new 2003 UB313 (affectionately named Xena by Brown) would also not qualify meaning that the solar system is, at present, only eight planets. Personally I'm a fan of any definition that would allow us to name a planet after a warrior Princess. The only thing better than naming a planet Xena would be naming a planet Brisco County Jr.
What's even more alarming is the implication to what this may mean four our Very Educated Mothers. With only eight planets this could mean that our Very Educated Mother Just Served Us Naan.
The least she could do is give us some chutney as well.
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#2
Posted 24 August 2006 - 12:43 PM
... or maybe two. First one would be that he's completely disgracing every gigolo in history by constantly hitting on that butt-ugly Olive Oil.
Second: Pluto's... ehem... "important" for Astrology. A 100% sincere and integre science and field of education, as we all know. With Pluto dropping out of the planet-club, there's gonna be lots of explaining necessary, so they simply decided to make things easier by claiming that Pluto's been involved in at least three Kennedy murders or something like that. Voilá, everybody starts to hate Pluto and sends little "Kick me"-signs into space, whilst Astrology can continue to make completely accurate predictions for our future.
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#3
Posted 24 August 2006 - 12:50 PM
If that is the case, to me what they are working on sounds like a waste of time. I think they should still be classed as planets. An idea of mine is whether there is a motive to dumb down planetary education to make it easier for people to learn.
#4
Posted 24 August 2006 - 01:01 PM
Under Napoleon's Picture. Now, My Very Educated Mother Just Sat Under
Napoleon.
You guys are sick. Leave my mother out of this.
This post has been edited by Gobbler: 24 August 2006 - 01:01 PM
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#5
Posted 24 August 2006 - 01:33 PM
An example of trying to make something look prettier even if it involves misleading information. Now they are really making decorations with the planets.
This post has been edited by Deepsycher: 24 August 2006 - 01:58 PM
#6
Posted 24 August 2006 - 01:53 PM
#7
Posted 24 August 2006 - 02:45 PM
DS: They aren't trying to say it's not a planet when it is. The dispute is over whether they should classify the object in the solar system known as Pluto as a planet or something else.
#9
Posted 24 August 2006 - 03:13 PM
Later, I made pork chops for dinner. Quite well fried, with sage and boiled potatoes. They were delicous. Meanwhile, Pluto ceased being called a planet, merely a dwarf planet. Books on the solar system everywhere failed utterly to be rewritten.
As a last note before I totally stop caring, 2003 UB313 sounds like a bad reggae cover band formed about three years ago.
Less Is More v4
Now resigned to a readership of me, my cat and some fish
#10
Posted 24 August 2006 - 03:23 PM
*sigh*
This post has been edited by Gobbler: 24 August 2006 - 03:25 PM
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#11
Posted 24 August 2006 - 03:27 PM
Okay I see, getting mixed messages.
This post has been edited by Deepsycher: 24 August 2006 - 03:45 PM
#12
Posted 24 August 2006 - 03:28 PM
Another point I forgot to make that calling them 'dwarf planets' is kind of insulting.
It's like if they reviewed the qualifications for being called a man and then issued me a letter in the mail saying I'm now officially classified as a 'scrawny man.' Ouch.
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#13
Posted 24 August 2006 - 03:58 PM
Anyway, rest in peace Pluto. You will be remembered.