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Pluto Sucks And Is Not Welcome Here (He Knows What He Did) Thursday, August 24, 2006

#1 User is offline   Chefelf Icon

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Posted 24 August 2006 - 11:54 AM

It's been hard (at least it has been for me) to ignore all the furor surrounding the status of Pluto lately. For those of you who are too busy leading a normal life here on Earth, there has been much debate lately in the scientific community over the status of Pluto. The debate is largely centered around the changing definition of what a planet is and what a celestial body needs to have to quality as such. With the debate swinging back and forth, so does the status of Pluto as a planet. The whole story could be followed like an end-of-the-season playoff bid by a sports team. One day it's in, the next day it's out.

Strangely, the story could also be followed like that of a celebrity being accused of something immoral like, for example, sexual harassment or lewd conduct. It seems like more evidence, rumors and expert evaluation is being submitted for consideration every day

The headlines read as if Pluto has done something wrong. You would get the impression from reading the articles that Pluto is being 'demoted' from planet status not because of some change in the definition of a planet but rather for something offensive that Pluto has done to the other planets -- Earth in particular.

Here's a sampling of some actual headlines:

It's official--Pluto's out - CNET News.com, CA

Pluto demoted - CNET News.com

The case against Pluto - Ottawa Citizen

Pluto Poised for Demotion: Details of Thursday's Vote - LiveScience.com

Farewell, Pluto - Scientific American

Pluto stripped of planetary status - Guardian Unlimited

Pluto kicked out of planet club - Mail & Guardian Online

Each article is complete with artists renditions of what future oil paintings or graphic renderings of the 'new' solar system may look like.



Some articles are accompanied by an idiotic list of "fast facts" such as the ones below.



What was it that Pluto could have done? It's entirely possible that Pluto could have touched Neptune in a way that Neptune was not comfortable with.

Michael Brown -- the astronomer, not the former FEMA chief that everyone hates -- discovered the planet 2003 UB313 2003 and is upset about the whole situation. "When I was a kid, planets were special," he said. "This definition takes the magic out of the solar system." Some definitions that have been passed around would result in the solar system being host to more than twenty planets scattered from Mercury too beyond Pluto.

Using the presently accepted definition Pluto would lose its planet status. The new 2003 UB313 (affectionately named Xena by Brown) would also not qualify meaning that the solar system is, at present, only eight planets. Personally I'm a fan of any definition that would allow us to name a planet after a warrior Princess. The only thing better than naming a planet Xena would be naming a planet Brisco County Jr.

What's even more alarming is the implication to what this may mean four our Very Educated Mothers. With only eight planets this could mean that our Very Educated Mother Just Served Us Naan.

The least she could do is give us some chutney as well.
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Posted 24 August 2006 - 12:43 PM

There's a simple reason for why they're trying to give Pluto the image of a serial murder now.

... or maybe two. First one would be that he's completely disgracing every gigolo in history by constantly hitting on that butt-ugly Olive Oil.

Second: Pluto's... ehem... "important" for Astrology. A 100% sincere and integre science and field of education, as we all know. With Pluto dropping out of the planet-club, there's gonna be lots of explaining necessary, so they simply decided to make things easier by claiming that Pluto's been involved in at least three Kennedy murders or something like that. Voilá, everybody starts to hate Pluto and sends little "Kick me"-signs into space, whilst Astrology can continue to make completely accurate predictions for our future.

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Posted 24 August 2006 - 12:50 PM

So they want people to think that there are only eight planets because the dwarf planets are small and not worth mentioning?

If that is the case, to me what they are working on sounds like a waste of time. I think they should still be classed as planets. An idea of mine is whether there is a motive to dumb down planetary education to make it easier for people to learn.
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Posted 24 August 2006 - 01:01 PM

I found a brilliant comment to this topic on /. :

QUOTE
You IAU bastards! Now, My Very Educated Mother no longer Just Sat
Under Napoleon's Picture. Now, My Very Educated Mother Just Sat Under
Napoleon.

You guys are sick. Leave my mother out of this.

This post has been edited by Gobbler: 24 August 2006 - 01:01 PM

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#5 User is offline   Deepsycher Icon

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Posted 24 August 2006 - 01:33 PM

Well here is another name for that and I am calling it trendy astrology.
An example of trying to make something look prettier even if it involves misleading information. Now they are really making decorations with the planets.

This post has been edited by Deepsycher: 24 August 2006 - 01:58 PM

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Posted 24 August 2006 - 01:53 PM

(sigh) This whole "Pluto isn't a planet, but a menace" ordeal is absurd. I liked the space program better when it was all hyped on Star Wars based technology, showing sweet footage of astronauts eating jelly in a zero-g environment, and when non-stick teflon was invented. Can't they invent more stuff instead of having the world believe that Pluto is just as guilty as Tom Cruise and his "bizarre antics?"
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Posted 24 August 2006 - 02:45 PM

Ach, I didn't know this thread existed when I made the one in the lobby. sad.gif I think it's rather absurd, too. All of those allegations by Neptune are unsubstantial and there were no other witnesses.

DS: They aren't trying to say it's not a planet when it is. The dispute is over whether they should classify the object in the solar system known as Pluto as a planet or something else.
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Posted 24 August 2006 - 03:01 PM

Oh and also by name. I thought along as at the bottom that they also mean eight planets. Whatever they call it I still think they should call it Pluto for it's history.
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Posted 24 August 2006 - 03:13 PM

Today, I woke up, and for some reason did a paper round. I then went back to bed until about 2pm. HAving got up again, I made a few phone calls I had to make, which achieved nothing. Meanwhile, lots of big lumps of rock whizzed through space at several million miles an hour, while scientists argued whether a lump of rock was big enough to be classed as a lump of rock called a planet or not.

Later, I made pork chops for dinner. Quite well fried, with sage and boiled potatoes. They were delicous. Meanwhile, Pluto ceased being called a planet, merely a dwarf planet. Books on the solar system everywhere failed utterly to be rewritten.

As a last note before I totally stop caring, 2003 UB313 sounds like a bad reggae cover band formed about three years ago.
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Posted 24 August 2006 - 03:23 PM

QUOTE ("Dee")
Oh and also by name. I thought along as at the bottom that they also mean eight planets. Whatever they call it I still think they should call it Pluto for it's history.

*sigh*

This post has been edited by Gobbler: 24 August 2006 - 03:25 PM

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Pop quiz, hotshot. Garry Kasparov is coming to kill you, and the only way to change his mind is for you to beat him at chess. What do you do, what do you do?
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#11 User is offline   Deepsycher Icon

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Posted 24 August 2006 - 03:27 PM

That is my point on demeaning them by size as dwarf planets and not accounting them with the other eight.

QUOTE (Gobbler @ Aug 24 2006, 03:23 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
*sigh*


Okay I see, getting mixed messages.

This post has been edited by Deepsycher: 24 August 2006 - 03:45 PM

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#12 User is offline   Chefelf Icon

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Posted 24 August 2006 - 03:28 PM

Wow. I posted this right before taking a nap and now, after waking up, find quite a bit of discussion.

Another point I forgot to make that calling them 'dwarf planets' is kind of insulting.

It's like if they reviewed the qualifications for being called a man and then issued me a letter in the mail saying I'm now officially classified as a 'scrawny man.' Ouch.
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Posted 24 August 2006 - 03:58 PM

Personally, I think every dwarf planet should be a planet. It is a dwarf, but it is also a planet. See how that works?

Anyway, rest in peace Pluto. You will be remembered.
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Posted 24 August 2006 - 05:51 PM

Pluto is always going to be a planet in my opinion.
Now they're going to say Pluto (Mickey Mouse's) it isn't a dog.
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Posted 24 August 2006 - 07:20 PM

I guess Jupiter, Saturn, Neptune, and Uranus are going to be known as Fat Fucking Balls of Gas
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