Chefelf.com Night Life: Our Local Grocery Store Sucks - Chefelf.com Night Life

Jump to content

  • (2 Pages)
  • +
  • 1
  • 2

Our Local Grocery Store Sucks Wednesday, August 24, 2005

#1 User is offline   Chefelf Icon

  • LittleHorse Fan
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • Group: Admin
  • Posts: 4,528
  • Joined: 30-October 03
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:New York, NY
  • Country:United States

Posted 24 August 2005 - 12:48 PM

Our local grocery store sucks. I don't want to be unprofessional and go naming names but let's just say that the name of the grocery store rhymes with Pisstedes. Sure, I may have been known to say, in the past, that other grocery stores are the worst but I am much more learned now. Now is time for the truth. Our local store sucks worse than all others.

Some Reasons why our Gristedes local grocery store is the worst grocery store:

Expired Products
Sure, it happens. You can't catch every expired product. I don't expect any store to do it. I normally check the expiration dates on nearly everything I buy. However, I have on two separate occasions purchased expired peanut butter from this store. Peanut butter, for the record, normally has a sell by date at least a year after you buy it. In January I purchased some peanut butter that had expired the previous September. Then, in May, I again purchased peanut butter that had expired on the same date in September the previous year, leading me to believe it was from the same shipment. I shudder to think of how long these jars of peanut butter had been in the stock room. Now, I must resort to regularly checking the expiration date on a product that should easily last over a year without spoiling.

Mislabeled Food
Everything in the store is mislabeled. Coffee is labeled as "frozen," cereal is labeled as "produce," apples are labeled as "dairy." I can deal with that except that the prices are usually mislabeled as well. This makes for an interesting game of guessing how much your groceries will total to at the register. Normally, if given a calculator, this should be an extremely easy task. However, a calculator will do you no good at this particular store.

It's not that they're trying to trick people into spending more money. Having seen every other aspect of the store I know that this is not the case. Even if they wanted to scam their customers they would lack the sort of organization to do so. Instead the prices vary between being too high and too low. It is for this reason that I suspect simple incompetence and negligence that causes the prices to vary so much. They are far too disorganized to run a normal grocery store, let alone scam anyone.

Today I noticed that the 100 bag box of Lipton tea was $2.99. That's not too bad. However, the 48 count box was priced $3.29. This runs counter to everything I have known to be true about retail pricing for my entire life. Needless to say, I purchased the 100-count box but the savings were evened out when I paid $4.49 for a tin of coffee that was labeled $3.29.

Customer Service
If someone at this store looks you in the eye while checking you out then that is a small victory. If they say a single word to you ("Debit or credit?" not included) then that is a colossal victory. If they say either "Hello" or "Have a nice day," then you are living in some sort of fantasy world or are delusional... or both.

It is a standard occurrence to have your cashier check their cell phones while ringing you out. On several shopping trips I have watched a cashier look at their cell phone to see who was calling as it was ringing loudly with the latest annoying ring tone undoubtedly sung by Avril Lavigne. On many other trips I've seen them simply check their cell phones for messages because, perhaps, they were being professional that day and had the phone on vibrate. On one occasion a bagger actually stopped bagging my groceries half way through because he took a call on his cell phone and just walked away. Seriously.

Rotting Produce
Earlier this week they only had one kind of fruit: peaches. There were no other options. If you wanted apples, you were shit out of luck. Want grapes? Not a chance. In fact, I don't know if I've ever seen grapes there. Of course grapes are a pretty exotic fruit that you'd be much more likely to find at some sort of fancy specialty store. When they do have more fruit than peaches, it's all rotting. Their apples are bruised, their potatoes are soft, their onions are sprouting green stalks, their lettuce is wilted and their carrots are limp.

Singing Fruit
There are mechanical singing fruit in most locations of this market. This may sound like an entertaining diversion that would serve to take your mind off the fact that you're paying $4.99 a pound for carrots that you'd have trouble giving away in a third world country during a famine but it's much more annoying than amusing. In our location they have opted to have the fruit sing about the glories of their salad bar. "We have fruit and vegetables," the little papaya sings in an annoying tone. It is worth mentioning that there is no salad bar in this store.

Dirt
This grocery store may be the dirtiest building I've ever been in. The hand baskets are so dirty that one can't even tell what color they were originally. They're actually caked with mud. Mud. It's a city grocery store. These things don't leave the store. There is no parking lot. There's nothing but pavement around the building for five miles in every direction. I'm not sure where the mud even comes from. Maybe they import it from New Jersey. Either that or they simply take it from the dirty, mud-crusted lettuce that they have in the produce section.

Expensive Prices
Not only do you get expired products, poor customer service and a dirty, dirty location, you also have to pay the highest prices I've ever seen even by New York City standards. It's located right next to a hospital, which for some reason compels them to charge $6.19 for a box of Cheerios.

For the most part you'd be able to go to a hoity-toity grocery store like Dean and DeLuca and spend the same amount of money. However, since you live in a sketchy part of town and are not surrounded by rich assholes, you have to pay the price by having inferior products for the same price because the non-English speaking community in the area is too polite to say anything and/or be taken seriously when they complain about the state of their rotten Yucca (which, incidentally, tastes like soap when purchased at our store).
See Chefelf in a Movie! -> The People vs. George Lucas

Buy the New LittleHorse CD, Strangers in the Valley!
CD Baby | iTunes | LittleHorse - Flight of the Bumblebee Video

Chefelf on: Twitter | friendfeed | Jaiku | Bitstrips | Muxtape | Mento | MySpace | Flickr | YouTube | LibraryThing
0

#2 User is offline   Icey Icon

  • n00b
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • Group: Members
  • Posts: 2,889
  • Joined: 06-April 04
  • Location:Not-Spain
  • Interests:Being infested by parasites. Fighting members of the Kennedy family, kidnapping the President's daughter. Moaning.<br />
  • Country:United States

Posted 24 August 2005 - 01:57 PM

Your local grocery store is truly epic in nature. This might very well be the grocery store that all other grocery stores will have to be compared to when it comes to suckiness. "Do we do any of the stuff they do?"

This grocery stores needs documenting and research. If given the chance, I will undertake dwelving into the darkness.
0

#3 User is offline   J m HofMarN Icon

  • Knows All The Girls Named Lola
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • Group: Members
  • Posts: 7,234
  • Joined: 24-May 04
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Rural Pahrump Nevada
  • Interests:Tyranny
  • Country:United States

Posted 24 August 2005 - 02:02 PM

Are they even worse than the legendary Key Foods?

Quote

I don't know about you but I have never advocated that homosexuals, for any reason, be cut out of their mother's womb and thrown into a bin.
- Deucaon toes a hard line on gay fetus rights.
0

#4 User is offline   Chefelf Icon

  • LittleHorse Fan
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • Group: Admin
  • Posts: 4,528
  • Joined: 30-October 03
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:New York, NY
  • Country:United States

Posted 24 August 2005 - 02:08 PM

QUOTE (Icey @ Aug 24 2005, 02:57 PM)
Your local grocery store is truly epic in nature. This might very well be the grocery store that all other grocery stores will have to be compared to when it comes to suckiness. "Do we do any of the stuff they do?"

This grocery stores needs documenting and research. If given the chance, I will undertake dwelving into the darkness.


This is exactly what I'm trying to get across.

QUOTE (J m HofMarN @ Aug 24 2005, 03:02 PM)
Are they even worse than the legendary Key Foods?


See the discalimer in the opening paragraph. I long for the day of Key Food. sad.gif
See Chefelf in a Movie! -> The People vs. George Lucas

Buy the New LittleHorse CD, Strangers in the Valley!
CD Baby | iTunes | LittleHorse - Flight of the Bumblebee Video

Chefelf on: Twitter | friendfeed | Jaiku | Bitstrips | Muxtape | Mento | MySpace | Flickr | YouTube | LibraryThing
0

#5 User is offline   WalkingCarpet Icon

  • Soothsayer
  • PipPipPipPip
  • Group: Members
  • Posts: 624
  • Joined: 16-June 05
  • Location:Somewhere Across Forever
  • Interests:Puns, irony &amp; sarcasm
  • Country:United Kingdom

Posted 24 August 2005 - 02:54 PM

Wow. This store has now been added to my "Looky, I'm a tourist" list of things to see if/when I ever visit NYC!
0

#6 User is offline   Kirby Icon

  • Zzzz
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • Group: Members
  • Posts: 1,543
  • Joined: 06-September 04
  • Location:Sucked into the gravity of barend's post count
  • Interests:Geeking out and nerding it up.
  • Country:United States

Posted 24 August 2005 - 05:27 PM

Damn, I shall now get on my knees and thank Kroger's that I have my Smith's instead of this travisty.
The Power of Christ Impales You!
- Tagline for Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter

You've read it, you can't un-read it. Stay tooned for more
TALES OF INTEREST.
I like to be part of the crowd so I want to say that Icey is the best guy ever
0

#7 User is offline   J m HofMarN Icon

  • Knows All The Girls Named Lola
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • Group: Members
  • Posts: 7,234
  • Joined: 24-May 04
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Rural Pahrump Nevada
  • Interests:Tyranny
  • Country:United States

Posted 24 August 2005 - 09:20 PM

wow that place sounds like its a lot of fun to work at.

Quote

I don't know about you but I have never advocated that homosexuals, for any reason, be cut out of their mother's womb and thrown into a bin.
- Deucaon toes a hard line on gay fetus rights.
0

#8 User is offline   Madam Corvax Icon

  • Buggy Purveyor
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • Group: Members
  • Posts: 2,031
  • Joined: 15-July 04
  • Country:Nothing Selected

Posted 25 August 2005 - 12:41 PM

Chefelf, aren't you exaggerating? You see, for so many years we have been led to believe that at the other side of Atlantic there is a land that falls very short of paradise, that I simply refuse to believe this grim story.

Or, perhaps it was my countryfolk (you mention non-English speaking community in the area) who invaded your paradise and imported to NYC the local grocery store I remember from the mid eighties (only adding the singing fruit as a token sign that we are not in fact in Eastern Europe). sad.gif
0

#9 User is offline   Chefelf Icon

  • LittleHorse Fan
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • Group: Admin
  • Posts: 4,528
  • Joined: 30-October 03
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:New York, NY
  • Country:United States

Posted 25 August 2005 - 03:41 PM

I'm not exaggerating at all. Perhaps Jen can jump in and back me up as she must shop at the same den of horrors. It falls very short of paradise.

New York City, overall, has pretty crummy supermarkets and really lousy customer service just about everywhere. This place certainly takes it to another level.
See Chefelf in a Movie! -> The People vs. George Lucas

Buy the New LittleHorse CD, Strangers in the Valley!
CD Baby | iTunes | LittleHorse - Flight of the Bumblebee Video

Chefelf on: Twitter | friendfeed | Jaiku | Bitstrips | Muxtape | Mento | MySpace | Flickr | YouTube | LibraryThing
0

#10 User is offline   Jordan Icon

  • Tummy Friend
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • Group: Members
  • Posts: 3,161
  • Joined: 31-October 03
  • Location:Mars
  • Interests:I have none.
  • Country:Ethiopia

Posted 25 August 2005 - 04:03 PM

This is one of the best rants you've posted. I can't fathom a store like that. At the very least you got an entertaining article out of it, so not all is lost.
Oh SMEG. What the smeggity smegs has smeggins done? He smeggin killed me. - Lister of Smeg, space bum
0

#11 User is offline   Jen Icon

  • Mrs. Chefelf
  • PipPipPip
  • Group: Members
  • Posts: 408
  • Joined: 30-October 03
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:The wilds of Spanish Canada in NYC
  • Interests:Being Chefelf's girlfriend has been an interest of mine for some time now. I also enjoy am interested in packing, unpacking, and organizing acres of cardboard boxes into a livable structure.
  • Country:Nothing Selected

Posted 25 August 2005 - 04:27 PM

It's pretty grim! Part of the problem is that Chefelf and I both come from what we now realize were suburban wonderlands, where the grocery stores have wide aisles and abundant produce, and the clerks smile at you and say, "How may I assist you?" and "Have a great day!"

Madame C., New York has a lot going for it and if you were ever to visit I would be happy to show you around its more awesome features. But if it's abudance and cleanliness good food heaped in beautiful, shining rows that you seek, then get thee to the American suburbs ...
0

#12 User is offline   SithAvenger Icon

  • Wow, my avatar changed.
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • Group: Members
  • Posts: 1,898
  • Joined: 06-June 05
  • Location:Err... here I guess.
  • Interests:The Interests of a Normal Teenager:<br />-Movies<br />-Things that are awesome<br />-Girls<br />-(Good) Tv shows<br />-Doing evil stuff the good way<br />-Videogames<br />-Hangin' with my friends
  • Country:Mexico

Posted 25 August 2005 - 06:05 PM

Yeah, normally the good stores are in the little cities.

Well, it seems that Gris.... err I mean that random grocery store simply hires the people that don't really like to work...

Well, thanks if I ever go to NYC and want to buy in a grocery store.
Sorry, you won't be seeing a smartass sig here. Try with the next poster.
0

#13 User is offline   Mnesymone Icon

  • Champion
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • Group: Members
  • Posts: 1,836
  • Joined: 08-April 04
  • Location:Somewhere near my collarbone
  • Interests:Food, books, movies, history, languages, religions (though I'm an atheist), miracles of nature and marvels of technology.<br /><br />Particularly: steak, the Lord of the Rings, Star Wars, The Dark Ages in Europe, the 'created' languages, the mythologies of defunct European cultures, fish and cars.
  • Country:Australia

Posted 25 August 2005 - 08:16 PM

So, how does this submarket stay in business?
Wouldn't Walmart or Woolworths or someone go 'hey, look, an area serviced by a piss-poor supermarket that is already too busy competing with itself to last five minutes against an organised chain store'

"Their apples are bruised" and also labeled as dairy.
Amazing.
0

#14 User is offline   Jordan Icon

  • Tummy Friend
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • Group: Members
  • Posts: 3,161
  • Joined: 31-October 03
  • Location:Mars
  • Interests:I have none.
  • Country:Ethiopia

Posted 26 August 2005 - 09:26 AM

It stays in business because it's probably with in walking distance to a bunch of residential complexes. You'd be suprised how lazy down town folk are.

Where I'm from there's a video store across the street from my video store. Their client base is every one on that side of the street. Even though we have better selection people will not cross a street to come to our place.

Furthermore the store is run by the most unhappy, miserable, asshole middle eastern family. I've heard from some of their ex-customers that they charge late fees to peoples credit cards with out their knowledge. This of course is why some of their customer base came to us. But most wouldn't due to the fact that this other store is 30 seconds closer to their apartments.

This post has been edited by Jordan: 26 August 2005 - 09:29 AM

Oh SMEG. What the smeggity smegs has smeggins done? He smeggin killed me. - Lister of Smeg, space bum
0

#15 User is offline   Jen Icon

  • Mrs. Chefelf
  • PipPipPip
  • Group: Members
  • Posts: 408
  • Joined: 30-October 03
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:The wilds of Spanish Canada in NYC
  • Interests:Being Chefelf's girlfriend has been an interest of mine for some time now. I also enjoy am interested in packing, unpacking, and organizing acres of cardboard boxes into a livable structure.
  • Country:Nothing Selected

Posted 27 August 2005 - 12:23 PM

Jordan: Us "downtown" folks are lazy, huh? smile.gif I'm guessing you have a car.

The thing is, when you do all your errands on foot, one block, two blocks, whatever makes a difference. Sure, it's lazy in a sense, but when you factor the number of steps taken, how heavy the packages are going be (esp. important when you're talking about groceries), how many errands you have to do and how much time it's going to take to do them, as well as the weather (is it going to rain all over my packages? Will I slip and fall and then freeze to death in the snow? Am I going to get so hot that my packages slip right out of my sweaty hands?) -- well, let me tell you: being even 30 seconds closer, to say nothing of a minute or more, makes a gigantic difference.

Mnesymone: Among the reasons no big stores are being built is that there is nowhere to build them -- literally. In our area, I can't think of any available foorprint where you could build a store, save knocking down one that exists already. And, as Jordan alluded to, at least in New York (but I would guess in most major cities) you operate in micro-neighborhoods -- so the places they could find to build a store are simply too far away to patronize!
0

  • (2 Pages)
  • +
  • 1
  • 2


Fast Reply

  • Decrease editor size
  • Increase editor size