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Why I hate the Clone Wars Volume 1

#1 User is offline   Bissrok Icon

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Posted 09 July 2006 - 03:03 AM

Everyone I talk to seems to think the Clone Wars DVDs are alright. But I still say they're nearly as bad as the PT. I took a note from Chefelf and decided to put it's failures in a neat, organized list (in chronological order for your enjoyment).

1. The characters and animation look like shit. It's been awhile since I've watched an American cartoon, but Christ... I don't remember watching anything this bad.





Just to compare, this is something I made in a minute using Paint:




2. Blatant Mr. Burns rip-off, right from the start. How did they not see he's evil?!



3. Palpatine overrides Yoda and Obi-Wan's military decision. They don't like it, but they just sit there and take it.



4. These guys ride eels and have laser lances. Right out of a cartoon from the 80s.



5. The Imperials also get their asses handed to them by guys with lances.



6. They rip off a scene from Akira for no reason at all. Obi-Wan gets swalled by... I think it's either wires or intestines. Something that, when it explodes, showers goo everywhere.



7. ...Then the enemy revives itself and they rip of Terminator 2.

8. An entire clone trooper fleet gets destroyed and, aside from a backwards glance by Anakin, no one gives a shit. Just because they're clones, doesn't mean they can't feel.



9. Anakin chases a Sith against Obi-Wan's direct orders.

“Do not follow that ship! Anakin, do you hear me?! DO NOT FOLLOW THAT SHIP! THAT IS AN ORDER! ANAKIN!!”

“Sorry, sir. Your signal’s breaking up.”

“Padawan, if you-“


Holy shit. I'd take his other hand for something like that. Since when did Obi-Wan become such a pussy?

10. After Anakin abandons his misison, disobeys a direct order and follows a Sith into an obvious trap, Obi-Wan feels the need to pull out the "I have a bad feeling about this" line.

11. Mace Windu destroys an entire droid army by himself. Clone troops stand to the side and occasionaly die. Which makes me wonder... why bother even making a clone army?

12. Mace Windu force throws several hundred super battle droids.

13. ...He then beats the shit out the remaining droids with his bare hands.

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14. After destroying the droids ship he then jumps...

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..a fuckin' mile.

15. On... some snow planet (I wasn't paying too much attention by now), Yoda goes to rescue two trapped Jedi. Padme, a senator, insists that she comes along to help Yoda, a Jedi-fuckin'-master. Yoda explains that dangerous, it is. Padme, a senator, is sure that he'll need her help. Yoda leaves her behind (score one point for the Clone Wars DVD).

16. Padme decides that Yoda might be in trouble. So she decides to run into the blizzard to save him. She is attacked immediately and tricks C3-P0 into drawing out the enemies. When the enemies appear... SHE THROWS A FUCKING GRENADE AT HIM!

Posted Image
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17. When Padme meets up with Yoda she asks, "What troubles you master Yoda?" and it hit me, "Why the fuck are these two people talking to each other?"... I don't know. It just bothers me. He's more social than I had expected.

18. Anakin gives into his anger and kills a Sith. Which paves the way for him to do the exact same thing in RotS (She's not a real Sith. There's only two real Sith, as Yoda pointed out. I guess it doesn't count against them because she only lasts about three minutes).

19. Shaggy the Jedi freaks the hell out when he hears Grevious is coming. And just like the real Shaggy, he takes off and runs straight into the guy he's trying to run from.

Posted Image


So, that's it... Clone Wars: Volume 1 sucked.

This post has been edited by Bissrok: 09 July 2006 - 03:02 AM

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#2 User is offline   Gobbler Icon

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Posted 09 July 2006 - 09:24 AM

Most definitely.

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#3 User is offline   Otal Nimrodi Icon

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Posted 09 July 2006 - 03:24 PM

QUOTE (Bissrok @ Jul 9 2006, 04:03 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
19. Shaggy the Jedi freaks the hell out when he hears Grevious is coming. And just like the real Shaggy, he takes off and runs straight into the guy he's trying to run from.


So, that's it... Clone Wars: Volume 1 sucked.


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#4 User is offline   Sieve Boy Icon

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Posted 10 July 2006 - 01:40 AM

I really hated all the blatant rip offs and the fact they gave Mace god like powers, the snow scene with Yoda & Padme just wasn't nessicary AT ALL. The only parts I halfway enjoyed watching were the ones with Dooku and when the Clone troops fought it out in the city. Other than that, it was pure, overly exaggerated garbage. The Clone Wars Vol II was just as bad, but hardly watchable rolleyes.gif
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#5 User is offline   georgelucas4greedo Icon

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Posted 10 July 2006 - 09:45 AM

QUOTE (Bissrok @ Jul 9 2006, 04:03 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
16. Padme decides that Yoda might be in trouble. So she decides to run into the blizzard to save him. She is attacked immediately and tricks C3-P0 into drawing out the enemies. When the enemies appear... SHE THROWS A FUCKING GRENADE AT HIM!





First of all, 3PO shouldve exploded as well. And I would hate to know the gimmicky thing that he said to those battle droids. Was it along the lines of "Excuse me, can you tell me how to get to the 7-11?" or judging from 3PO gay little furry cape, "Hey big boy, wanna crash my hardrive?"
It seems like everyone is over the nitpicking. Too bad.
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#6 User is offline   diligent_d Icon

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Posted 10 July 2006 - 12:04 PM

That is some dreadful artwork. Dreadful.
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#7 User is offline   Gobbler Icon

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Posted 10 July 2006 - 12:24 PM

Nah, that's not artwork. Artwork requires a little bit of work incentive... they didn't even colour the characters right, didn't give a shit about proper lighting and... hmm... no, I changed my mind.

I can't flame this work.

I figure it's been made by retards. You don't make fun of retards.

With Coby being the exception, of course.

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#8 User is offline   Otal Nimrodi Icon

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Posted 10 July 2006 - 05:33 PM

Yeah.
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#9 User is offline   MyPantsAreOnFire Icon

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Posted 10 July 2006 - 06:26 PM

While I have no desire to see this...thing, I think the people behind it also put out Samurai Jack, and this art style used on that series ended up looking beautiful.
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#10 User is offline   KurganX Icon

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Posted 12 July 2006 - 03:58 AM

First off, that was HILARIOUS and valid points all! wink.gif

Now on to some other comments:

QUOTE (MyPantsAreOnFire @ Jul 10 2006, 06:26 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
While I have no desire to see this...thing, I think the people behind it also put out Samurai Jack, and this art style used on that series ended up looking beautiful.


Wow, somebody who liked the artwork! Usually I hear nothing but whining about the artwork of the series (presumably from anime/manga fanboys).

The repetative nature of Samurai Jack (which I didn't watch or enjoy half as much as say, Powerpuff Girls or Dexter's Lab, both of which were entertaining, didn't have strict continuity and were rarely serious) lent itself well to the CW series. It was obviously a cartoon, and hence very cartoonish, and didn't fit at all with the dynamics set with the Prequels. However you could tell it was made by FANS, rather than Lucas. So, depending upon your point of view, this is either its greatest strength or its greatest weakness.

It's ridiculous in places, but to me, entertaining. And no, I'm not of the mind that if they were live action, that they would be "better than the prequels as we have them." Frankly I wished that the movies had spent more time covering the war, rather than leaving it up to the cartoon to do it. But that doesn't mean I would have wanted to see the cartoon literally translated to live action on the big screen!

This post has been edited by KurganX: 12 July 2006 - 04:03 AM

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Posted 12 July 2006 - 08:26 AM

'Shaggy the Jedi' biggrin.gif
QUOTE
The sandpeople had women and children. We know this because Anakin killed them how could he tell? The children might be smaller but I never saw a sandperson with breasts. Did they hike their skirts and show him some leg or something?

QUOTE
Also, I can see the point of wanting to kidnap a human and use her as a slave, but they didn't. They tied her to a flimsy easel for a month. It's assumed they had to feed and give her water. What for? Was she purely ornamental? I can understand them wanting the droids, you can sell those for a lot of money, but a chick who's only skills are finding non-existand mushrooms and getting randomly pregnant, you're not going to get much.

- J m HofMarN on the Sand People
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Posted 17 July 2006 - 05:37 PM

I liked Clone Wrs so I'm going to counter some of your points (I agree with some).

"1. The characters and animation look like shit. It's been awhile since I've watched an American cartoon, but Christ... I don't remember watching anything this bad."

I think it's not really that bad, there are cartoons with worse drawings. Anyways, watching this drawing is better than seeing crappy CGI. (Where have I seen that?) Plus, you didn't do that in a minute and you know it. tongue.gif

"2. Blatant Mr. Burns rip-off, right from the start. How did they not see he's evil?!"
He looks like Mister Burns, but he doesn't act like Mr. Burns. Anyways, I think Jedis have never watched the Simpsons so how would they know what does Mr Burns look like? tongue.gif

"3.Palpatine overrides Yoda and Obi-Wan's military decision. They don't like it, but they just sit there and take it."

So, you want them to punch Palpatine or something? Soldiers have to obey their superiors no matter how dumb they are. (Like Bush commanding stuff on Iraq)

"4. These guys ride eels and have laser lances. Right out of a cartoon from the 80s."

They're just trying to make the SW galaxy bigger because we all know it's a smal, small galaxy... wink.gif

"5. The Imperials also get their asses handed to them by guys with lances."

First, the imperials didn't get owned. The CLONES were owned. And secondly, whoever made those tanks surely also made the Ewok-proof stormtrooper armor. The point is they should sue whoever made that stuff.

"6. They rip off a scene from Akira for no reason at all. Obi-Wan gets swalled by... I think it's either wires or intestines. Something that, when it explodes, showers goo everywhere."
Well, I don't know what Akura is, but what if the watchers have never seen Akura? Anyways, it could also be an homage.

"7. ...Then the enemy revives itself and they rip of Terminator 2."

I don't really think it's a rip-off, but enemies reviving is so common.

"8. An entire clone trooper fleet gets destroyed and, aside from a backwards glance by Anakin, no one gives a shit. Just because they're clones, doesn't mean they can't feel."

So you wanted a scene showing their Jedi general crying or something? People don't care about other people dying in the battlefield unless they know them.

"9. Anakin chases a Sith against Obi-Wan's direct orders.

“Do not follow that ship! Anakin, do you hear me?! DO NOT FOLLOW THAT SHIP! THAT IS AN ORDER! ANAKIN!!”

“Sorry, sir. Your signal’s breaking up.”

“Padawan, if you-“

Holy shit. I'd take his other hand for something like that. Since when did Obi-Wan become such a pussy?"

Obi isn't a pussy, but did you want him to shout "GET HERE YOU FUCKING PUSSY!" or chase him or something like that?

"10. After Anakin abandons his misison, disobeys a direct order and follows a Sith into an obvious trap, Obi-Wan feels the need to pull out the "I have a bad feeling about this" line."

Well, he had a bad feeling because as you say, it's obviously a trap. So?

11-15
I agree with the Mace Windu ones. That was way too stupid, but I don't really take it seriously.

"15. On... some snow planet (I wasn't paying too much attention by now), Yoda goes to rescue two trapped Jedi. Padme, a senator, insists that she comes along to help Yoda, a Jedi-fuckin'-master. Yoda explains that dangerous, it is. Padme, a senator, is sure that he'll need her help. Yoda leaves her behind (score one point for the Clone Wars DVD)."

What's so bad about that? There are people who like to help other people even if they don't need help.

"16. Padme decides that Yoda might be in trouble. So she decides to run into the blizzard to save him. She is attacked immediately and tricks C3-P0 into drawing out the enemies. When the enemies appear... SHE THROWS A FUCKING GRENADE AT HIM!"

Why should she care about 3-PO? He's just a droid. If he dies, she can just buy another one at the mall.

"17. When Padme meets up with Yoda she asks, "What troubles you master Yoda?" and it hit me, "Why the fuck are these two people talking to each other?"... I don't know. It just bothers me. He's more social than I had expected."

Just because he's a Jedi Master doesnt' mean that he can't have a life. wink.gif

"18. Anakin gives into his anger and kills a Sith. Which paves the way for him to do the exact same thing in RotS (She's not a real Sith. There's only two real Sith, as Yoda pointed out. I guess it doesn't count against them because she only lasts about three minutes)."

First, she does not die. Secondly, she wan't trained in the Sith ways, so technically she's not a Sith.

"19. Shaggy the Jedi freaks the hell out when he hears Grevious is coming. And just like the real Shaggy, he takes off and runs straight into the guy he's trying to run from."

Is Shaggy dying a bad thing? I liked it. smile.gif
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