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Kill Jar Jar! The most creative way to off Jar Jar Binks?

#1 User is offline   miladyblue Icon

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Posted 03 June 2006 - 02:41 PM

I remember reading on a Star Trek NG board a while back a rather lively thread, where people posted the most creative ways they would like to see Wesley Crusher die. My favorite was his accidental visit to a gay bath house on the Klingon homeworld. devil.gif

So, what can the rest of you come up with for Jar Jar's premature, and hopefully PAINFUL demise? My own, and admittedly, limited list so far includes:

Coating him with gravy and throwing him to starving Ewoks, whereupon the Ewoks would die horribly of Gungan poisoning, thus ridding the Star Wars universe of TWO annoying life forms.

Dressing him up in a slave girl costume and selling him to a Hutt.

Turning him over to the younglings in the Jedi temple for lightsaber sparring practice, without first making sure he HAS a lightsaber.

Put him in charge of defending the younglings when Anakin shows up, again without giving him a lightsaber.

What about the rest of you?
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#2 User is offline   Darth Player Icon

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Posted 03 June 2006 - 03:29 PM

Senator Jar Jar arrives at the opening of Death Star I and sees the George Lucas Opera character from ROTS there, and throws him down the shaft the way the Emperor met his end, giving Vader an idea he'd keep in the back of his mind until ROTJ. A jubilant Jar Jar sticks around at his new job, head of the Death Star I lost and found, where he doesn't leave his post during the Battle of Yavin, where obviously he meets his end.
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#3 User is offline   barend Icon

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Posted 07 June 2006 - 07:55 PM

i'd settle for lethal injection.

but having anakin force choke him would have been great, on mustafar so he could fall in lava afterwards.
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#4 User is offline   Otal Nimrodi Icon

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Posted 07 June 2006 - 09:22 PM

I wanna see him strangled with his own floppy ears, personally.

By Ewoks. Who immediately turn around, and, in true comic-relief manner, get crushed by their own traps.

This post has been edited by Otal Nimrodi: 07 June 2006 - 09:27 PM

Want a Tarot reading?

PM me, we'll talk.
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#5 User is offline   Despondent Icon

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Posted 08 June 2006 - 01:20 AM

Jar-Jar's garment gets caught under an old fashioned Sandcrawler. Moving unforgivingly slow.
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#6 User is offline   Jedi_1138 Icon

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Posted 18 June 2006 - 02:13 PM

I've always hoped we could watch Jar Jars death. I had hoped a turned Anakind would come to chase his wife - or maybe just his kids - and Jar Jar tries to do the heroic part. Of course, then Vader force chockes the Gungan, while Obi Wan, Padme and the babies escape.

I actually prepeared to yell "I knew there was still good in him" in the theater. Maybe not as unique as I t hought it was.

Other things I'd like to see:
- Jar Jar drowning in Lava.
- Electroluted by Palpy; don't know why he would do that, but watching would be fun!
- He has a fatal accident with an air lock. Much like the "dark clown" in "Trippin' the rift.'


And...he get's strangeled with his own floppy ears! Brilliant, Otal Nimrodi! thumbsup.gif
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#7 User is offline   David-kyo Icon

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Posted 18 June 2006 - 02:38 PM

I'd settle for the 'Death by 12-gauge'-method of Yahtzee.
(see http://www.fullyramb...41003-1029.htm)
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#8 User is offline   Gobbler Icon

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Posted 18 June 2006 - 02:40 PM

To honour Saint Floppydisk:

http://www.chefelf.c...?showtopic=3373

Quote

Pop quiz, hotshot. Garry Kasparov is coming to kill you, and the only way to change his mind is for you to beat him at chess. What do you do, what do you do?
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#9 User is offline   Jedi_1138 Icon

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Posted 18 June 2006 - 03:24 PM

Yay! biggrin.gif

Nice link, Gobbler!
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#10 User is offline   Storm Icon

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Posted 29 June 2006 - 02:59 AM

I am content assuming that Jar Jar Binks was on Alderaan when it was destroyed. It really brings a new sense of satisfaction to that scene in ANH.
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#11 User is offline   barend Icon

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Posted 29 June 2006 - 06:58 PM

well that's something everyone can enjoy.
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#12 User is offline   David-kyo Icon

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Posted 30 June 2006 - 02:11 AM

QUOTE (Storm @ Jun 29 2006, 09:59 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I am content assuming that Jar Jar Binks was on Alderaan when it was destroyed. It really brings a new sense of satisfaction to that scene in ANH.


He was? huh.gif
Coooool... happy.gif
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#13 User is offline   Lord Aquaman Icon

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Posted 28 July 2006 - 08:38 AM

I say give Jar Jar the Passion of the Christ treatment - beat him up, force him to carry a cross a couple of miles with a crown of thorns strapped to his head and then nail him to it before posting him so he can die a long, slow, horribly painful death.
I am the Fisher King.

I'd like a qui-gon jinn please with an obi-wan to go.
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#14 User is offline   David-kyo Icon

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Posted 28 July 2006 - 09:00 AM

I bet it'd be satisfying but his death should also be funny, and should suit him. I can come up with stuff like 'Hang him on a tree, shoot him, gut him and then run him over with a Buick', but there's not much fun in that.
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#15 User is offline   georgelucas4greedo Icon

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Posted 28 July 2006 - 09:28 AM

Unfortunately, Jar Jar is immortal. Remember when he gets shocked by what only can be thousands of volts of eletricity and lives? He, despite being an amphibean, survives for many days on a dessert planet. How many frogs from the swamp can do that? He also fought haphazardly in that battle and lives to tell about it.
It seems like everyone is over the nitpicking. Too bad.
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