[Zewb]

Agent 47 is a ruthless contract killer, created in a cloning experiment in an attempt to create an army of assassins. This is why it would kick ass to be him.

• Fancy suit w/badass black gloves.
• Access to many deadly weapons.
• Cool sci-fi barcode on back of neck.
• Vin Dieselesque body, but cooler personality.
• Practically unstoppable; can be shot at least 10 times without dying.
• Sexy British chick that talks to you.
• Cold, heartless personality.
• Because of cloning, no annoying family members asking you to help move their furniture.
• Can fit into anyone's clothes, and get away with wearing them.
• Nobody fucks with you. And lives.
• You can open doors with your mind, and they close themselves 5 seconds later.
• You are an urban legend.
• At the supermarket, you can scan the barcode on your neck and see how much you're worth.
• You have a lot of money.
• Dual .45 pistols, coated in beautiful silver.
• Did I mention the suit?

Why it would not kickass to be Agent 47.

• Bald. Not just thinning, not even a bit of tough-looking peach fuzz. Just horribly bald.
• If you set off an airport metal detector you are shot on sight, even if it was just your keys.
• Nobody trusts you at all. Probably because you're so bald.
• You can't jump.
• If you linger in a doorway too long the door will decide to slam shut and break your nose.
• So. Fucking. Ballllddddd...
• At said supermarket, you might not be worth that much and it will lower your self-esteem.
• You're probably the whitest person outside of Norway.

There you have it.

[Yahtzee]

Agent 47 is a ruthless contract killer, created in a cloning experiment in an attempt to create an army of assassins

Thanks for the spoiler, jerk

[Zewb]

I've only played Hitman 2, so forgive me if I ruined everything for you.

This post has been edited by Zewb: 16 April 2006 - 08:19 PM

[Cobnat]

[*]Can fit into anyone's clothes, and get away with wearing them.

Yeah, about this one, I have played 1 and 2 and realised you cant take off womans clothes, now Im not one to usualy worry about this but wouldnt it be hard to have sex?

[Zewb]

You know, on the first level, where the guy goes to take a piss on the tree, I broke out my sniper rifle and I realized that the game developers had actually taken the time to model and shade this man's cock, rather than just have his hands holding nothing but air, as I would have expected.

[Dr Lecter]

The 2nd one is probably the worst out of all 3! If anyone sees you running at all, they shoot at you... Now, I may not be an expert in Soviet military policies... but when a Russian soldiers, sees another Russian soldier running by, I'm pretty sure that he doesn't think "Shoot him!". Also, you would think that that barcode would give the game away really. The 2nd one was the only game that I didn't buy out of the 3, mainly because it wasn't worth it.

Anyway more +'s and -'s:

+Because you are cloned there are fuck loads of people walking around that look just like you, therefore they could soil your name or fuck your girlfriend.
+You can get changed without taking you clothes off, and you manage to fold your clothes up without trying.
+You can get away with hiding a gun up a chicken's ass.
+Wherever you go, there is normally someone that will give you a gun or some kind information that makes your mission so much cooler.
+Asian guys won't notice that you're joined the triads enough though you are clearly white.
+Who else has the world's deadliest flower box?

-You can kill as many gang members as you like and never experiance reprisals.
-You only have one inside pocket so can only holster one big weapon at once.
-You leave the kind of gaps between phrases that would put Tony Blair to shame.
-The most action you ever get, besides from grabbing girls from behind and putting them to sleep, is a kiss from a chinese hooker.
-During the latter part of your life, all of you hits are in locations where running is a capital crime (don't ask about hitman 3... its a flashback game if you haven't played it already, only one mission in the game isnt set in the past)

I have a feeling I'm missing a big one, but this will do.

This post has been edited by Dr Lecter: 17 April 2006 - 03:45 PM

[vpresrufus]

+despite you rather conspicious appearence, such as the bar code on the back of your head, nobody ever actually seems to recognize you.
+ People take no notice if you walk past them with bullet wounds in you, meaning you draw very little attention to yourself.

-You are very poor at disguising yourself, as people will often see through them for pretty much no reason at all.
-"I need to use the bathroom"