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Two Stooges Toilet Paper Tragedy Wednesday, April 12, 2006

#1 User is offline   Chyld Icon

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Posted 12 April 2006 - 03:54 AM

QUOTE
Man allegedly killed roommate over toilet paper
Fla. prosecutors say victim beaten so badly he had to be ID'd by fingerprints

MOSS BLUFF, Fla. - A man accused of fatally beating his roommate with a sledgehammer and a claw hammer because there was no toilet paper in their home has been arrested.

Franklin Paul Crow, 56, was charged Monday with homicide in the death of Kenneth Matthews, 58, according to the Marion County Sheriff’s Office.

Capt. Thomas Bibb said Crow initially denied his involvement, but confessed during questioning.
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Crow told investigators that the men were fighting about the toilet paper over the weekend when Matthews pulled out a rifle. Crow said he then began beating Matthews with the sledgehammer and claw hammer, according to an affidavit.

Matthews was beaten so badly he had to be identified through his fingerprints, detectives said.

Crow was being held at the Marion County jail without bond. It was not immediately known whether he had an attorney.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/11471503/


Murder over poo paper? If that happened in the real world, as opposed to the surrealist fantasy world of the Crappy News, not one person in my house would be left alive. Crazy old people!

Thanks to JM for this 'un!
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#2 User is offline   Gobbler Icon

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Posted 12 April 2006 - 03:59 AM

I can't wait to see Dee's next questions regarding whether it might be possible to decapitate someone with a toothbrush...

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#3 User is offline   Deepsycher Icon

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Posted 12 April 2006 - 06:43 AM

QUOTE (Gobbler @ Apr 12 2006, 03:59 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I can't wait to see Dee's next questions regarding whether it might be possible to decapitate someone with a toothbrush...


Obviously not but if it is possible that may take a lot of work. So no wait.

One guess: Perhaps he got the sledgehammer mixed up with the toilet brush upon accidentally flushing the whole toilet tissue down, in that case could have been drunk (not yet proven) or suffer with mental issues. The size of the roll could be questionable to this.

This post has been edited by Deepsycher: 12 April 2006 - 06:44 AM

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#4 User is offline   Gobbler Icon

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Posted 12 April 2006 - 07:05 AM

That's even better.

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Posted 12 April 2006 - 09:41 AM

QUOTE (Deepsycher @ Apr 12 2006, 07:43 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Obviously not but if it is possible that may take a lot of work. So no wait.

One guess: Perhaps he got the sledgehammer mixed up with the toilet brush upon accidentally flushing the whole toilet tissue down, in that case could have been drunk (not yet proven) or suffer with mental issues. The size of the roll could be questionable to this.


I think that was supposed to be a joke.
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#6 User is offline   Deepsycher Icon

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Posted 12 April 2006 - 10:31 AM

QUOTE (floppydisk @ Apr 12 2006, 09:41 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I think that was supposed to be a joke.


Yes, but also in some cases that sort situation could happen. I mean for example: People who are in a drunken state, suffer with mental issues or get objects mixed around as well as their emotional state at the time.

I know it may sound like a joke, just like to think of possibilities.

What do you think of the possibilities that caused the man to get angry about the tissues and react in that way with the axe?

This post has been edited by Deepsycher: 12 April 2006 - 10:45 AM

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Posted 12 April 2006 - 10:50 AM

Sledgehammer and clawhammer. No axe. Axes are too cool to be involved in fights over toilet paper.

edit: Typo

This post has been edited by SimeSublime: 12 April 2006 - 10:50 AM

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#8 User is offline   Deepsycher Icon

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Posted 12 April 2006 - 11:34 AM

QUOTE (SimeSublime @ Apr 12 2006, 10:50 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Sledgehammer and clawhammer. No axe. Axes are too cool to be involved in fights over toilet paper.

edit: Typo


Yes, sorry about that, I sometimes have blindspots on seeing the terms correctly. Another guess was that he was using a sledge hammer to unblock the toilet and his friend got clawed by the other hammer in the process.

This post has been edited by Deepsycher: 12 April 2006 - 11:36 AM

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Posted 12 April 2006 - 02:26 PM

Is there even an inking of a possibility of a chance that we can, for once, not make up a load of utterly batshit loco nonsense about a news story? One man kills another with a hammer because they run out of toilet paper - is this not already barmy enough for you?!? wacko.gif

This post has been edited by Chyld: 12 April 2006 - 02:27 PM

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Posted 12 April 2006 - 02:30 PM

QUOTE (Chyld @ Apr 12 2006, 02:26 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Is there even an inking of a possibility of a chance that we can, for once, not make up a load of utterly batshit loco nonsense about a news story? One man kills another with a hammer because they run out of toilet paper - is this not already barmy enough for you?!? wacko.gif


Batshit?

I could describe the behaviour of an "insane" person "nonsense" but it may not be to them. Just looking for the reasons behind, not only the lack of tissues caused him to commit the murder but the reasoning behind the action.

I do not see that everyday on someone murdering over no tissues, it may even appear like that on the news but there could be other reasons to consider but not for definite.

This post has been edited by Deepsycher: 12 April 2006 - 02:33 PM

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Posted 12 April 2006 - 02:32 PM

A simple "no" would have done the job, too, Dee.

This post has been edited by Gobbler: 12 April 2006 - 02:33 PM

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Posted 12 April 2006 - 02:33 PM

The reason is "they ran out of toilet paper and happened to be a bit odd". Works fine for me.
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Posted 12 April 2006 - 02:36 PM

Yes, one of them could have gone to the shops to buy tissues, but another reason could be that either one or both are out of money or in debt. In this case that certainly showed on the person with the hammer.

This post has been edited by Deepsycher: 12 April 2006 - 02:41 PM

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#14 User is offline   Coco Icon

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Posted 12 April 2006 - 02:40 PM

Yeah, could be, but that would be A WHOLE DIFFERENT STORY.

The story, right now, is the one that appears on the news. When a story where people are in debt and then they kill each other with a hammer appears, THEN we discuss it. But there's no sense DISCUSSING IT NOW.

Dammit.

EDIT: forgot a word

This post has been edited by Coco: 12 April 2006 - 02:41 PM

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Posted 12 April 2006 - 02:44 PM

QUOTE (Coco @ Apr 12 2006, 02:40 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Yeah, could be, but that would be A WHOLE DIFFERENT STORY.

The story, right now, is the one that appears on the news. When a story where people are in debt and then they kill each other with a hammer appears, THEN we discuss it. But there's no sense DISCUSSING IT NOW.

Dammit.

EDIT: forgot a word



I can see some senses, in this case he could have appeared to murder over the tissues, but both of them could have had other worries causing them to become over sensitive. As well as the ideas of a (drunken or mental state) that could have caused them to fight, many other possibilities to think of, such as illegal trade could have gone wrong, money worries to that or someone close to one or both of them could have got killed.

This post has been edited by Deepsycher: 12 April 2006 - 02:55 PM

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