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The Cobnated Inquiry All my stuff are belong to here

#1 User is offline   Cobnat Icon

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Posted 15 March 2006 - 05:10 PM

This is where Im going to put all my work from now on, so I dont take up preciuos "Screen Room" space. I swear, I had a shite load of threads in sr before this idea came up.
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#2 User is offline   Cobnat Icon

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Posted 21 March 2006 - 10:05 PM

WORLD WAR WHORE - With Cobnat, Travis and Chavez

Cobnat- Todays problems are not Nuclear Proliferation or World Wide Faminem. Todays problem is a trend that is sweeping the world over. I call this problem: The Cult Of The Whore.

Travis- What the fook is The Cult Of The Whore?

Cobnat- Im glad you asked Travis, you see, I have been studying the behavor of my peers since I came to this God Forsaken Hellhole... <<Cobnat Coughs>> I mean Australia. Anyway, I have been studying a group of females lately (I use the term females loosly) and I have decided to put them under the single title of "Whore". Now I dont use Whore very often, if ever, but these... people... deserve it. These are the kind of people (I say people becouse there are some guys in these groups too) will start the next World War, I am nearly certain of it.

Chavez- Thats not fare homes, what if they cant help being that way?

Cobnat- But you see Chavez, like you, me, Travis and the rest of the fucking world; they have a choice of what to be and how to be it. Let me give you an example: In the 9th grade when I was taking a bus temporarily for a month becouse my mothers car broke down. Anyway, I was sitting in the Bus waiting for the Bus driver to stop flirting with one of the shy nerdy girls when suddenly the Bus started to shake, I held on for dear life as the monstrosity of a mammal, for a second I thought a Blue Whale was thrown onto the Bus but as I looked over I saw the ugliest thing known to man, it was a fat, ugly whore. Normaly I think every girl is good looking as long as they dont wear make-up and this was no exeption, she had 5 pounds/10 kilograms of eye liner on. She had tight jeans and was wearing them dispite the fact she exceeded the weight limit of the Bus; and buses dont have weight limits. She waddled over to where I was sitting and say down oppisite of me so her fat gaze was percing into my sole. Some of her less fat more whorish friends sat down next to her. I looked over to her a few times trying to look at her friends who were spreading thier legs as far as the eye can see. She looked at me, struggling to breath while saying "WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT!!?" I kept quite out of fear of being eaten and out of fear of upseting one of her boyfriends (thats right, even whales can have lovers) the rest of the ride home was horrid. Constantly this scurge of God kept looking at me like I was the scum of the earth. When I got home I took 5 cold showers and then sacraficed some blood to make sure I was still pure of blood.

Chavez- huh.gif
Travis- mellow.gif

Cobnat- unsure.gif Errr.... Anyway... Ill tell you the rest of what I think later, I got to get to class now.
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#3 User is offline   Cobnat Icon

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Posted 03 April 2006 - 06:43 PM

The hills are alive with the sound of decay, okay?

A few days ago I realised I’m Asexual, this wasn’t an over night thing either, it wasn’t like a transvestite waking up in a cold sweat and realising that he was actually a man, no, this was over a few years. You see, I have been masturbating since I was 9 or 10 or 11, I’m not sure, I don’t think it matters, anyway, after all those years going at it like my dick was going to fall off the next morning, it did, not literally but you get the idea. I’ve had fewer and fewer hardons as the months went on and now I’m as impotent as a brain-dead hick. Add this to the fact I have never been laid, I’m turning 16 in April, and you got the perfect excuse to become Asexual. For those who don’t know, Asexual means someone who isn’t into sex at all, apposed to the popular believe of wanting to fuck yourself. I have also decided I’m not going to do all the Keshik stuff I was planning to do and I have also decided to kill Travis and Chavez, I don’t think many people relate to a kid who spends all his time in a basement jacking of to porn while in his spare time hacking forums and pissing people off, or a Mexican stereotype that doesn’t really do anything except be stereotypical. I have now realised to throw away all masks and be myself, yes, I know, an individual cant survive on internet forums but think of it like this, I don’t give a shit what I can or cannot do anymore, all I care about is achieving my goal of becoming a writer, even if my writing is crap and I have no talent, worse off people then me have risen to godlike levels, so I think/know that I can do it too.

Now I’m going to tell you the best things about being something.

The best thing about being a scitsophrenic is that you’re never lonely.
The best thing about being bold is that you never need to worry about the way your hair looks.
The best thing about being from another country is that you can always say "Pffft, I’m glad I’m not like the people here".
The best thing about being a hick or redneck is that if you’re ever bored, you can always marry your cousin/daughter/mothers/aunt.
The best thing about being Asexual is that you have an excuse for not getting laid.
The best thing about being a zombie is that you can always sell your body parts or trade them in for better ones and you don’t feel a thing while they connect and disconnect you.
The best thing about being a Zombie in a Resident Evil game, not movie because the movies are god awfully shit, is that you always can scare the crap out of people by hiding in places normal people wouldn’t even dream of looking.
The best thing about being a guy in the 18th century is, well, everything.
The best thing about being the current pope is that you were once a Nazi and no one knows or refuses to acknowledge the fact.
The best thing about being bored is that you can always masturbate as long as there aren’t any other people with you.
The best thing about being me is... wait... Ill think of something... err... you... can always... nope, I lost it, sorry.
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#4 User is offline   Cobnat Icon

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Posted 17 April 2006 - 02:06 AM

On many forums that Ive been to, many people have asked me why Im such a bitter dickhead, well, I have decided to tell them through this complaint, I might as well put this in my COBNAT INQUIRY also.

Complaint: Lets see, were to start... first of all, I lost a favorite game of mine thats brand new and cost me 80 dollars, also I cant find it anywhere in the shop, not that I could afford it anyway. Second, I have had my PC for 5 years now, not that there is anything wrong with having an old computer its just that mines so fucked up that Its been held together with ducktape, I dont and cant find a job since I hate talking to people becouse talking to people leads me to hate them becouse I hate trying to be a pompus asshole like most, if not all, people. Third, my vacation to Eastern Europe is being post-poned again for another months becouse I dont have enough money to pay to go there, my family lives there and I miss them alot, but I cant see them, that pisses me off the most. Forth, 7 days ago on the 10th of April was my 16th birthday, I couldnt afford a party or bring my friends over becouse I moved house recently and everythings a mess, my mother boaght me a cake for my happy to substitute for everything else, I ate it and gained permenant 2 kilos/4 pounds and it was a 3 rate cake. Fith, I cant get it up anymore. Sixth, Ive lost the will to live but am too much of a pussy and optimist to kill myself, I keep telling myself things will get better, only I am stupid enough to believe myself. Seventh, I have a horrid childhood which I will not get into now or ever. Finaly, I have the worst heart burn ever, it started recently and I could eat any food without much pain for 3 days, my mother says it comes from me being to stressed out but I know better, its becouse everything hates me, including my own body.

Are you fucking happy now!? You fucking cock sucking, crap crunching, dog fucking, apple dunking assholes!!! NOW YOU KNOW!!! Are you fucking happy? I thought so...
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#5 User is offline   Cobnat Icon

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Posted 18 April 2006 - 01:59 AM

Im moving the Cobnat Inquiry to:

http://s9.invisionfr...Cobnat_Inquiry/
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#6 User is offline   Cobnat Icon

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Posted 21 April 2006 - 09:00 AM

UPDATE!!! My first update, Im so cool, If I was a whore Id have sex with myself... ew...

http://s9.invisionfr...php?showtopic=2
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#7 User is offline   Cobnat Icon

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Posted 21 May 2006 - 11:57 PM

Update-

http://s9.invisionfr...php?showtopic=3
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#8 User is offline   Cobnat Icon

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Posted 24 May 2006 - 07:17 PM

(Update)

Story coming soon, it will be called "The Shadows End".

Ill post the prologue up soon.
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#9 User is offline   Cobnat Icon

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Posted 05 June 2006 - 07:32 PM

3w4ym4yd4y - With Cobnat, Travis and Chavez

The adventures of Cobnat, Travis and Chavez begin in the deep jungles of Ukabecameccahellastan, were our boys are fighting and killing thousands of innocents because they are Ukabecameccahellastanies *and* trying to make an honest living in their own country…

<Cobnat and Travis are walking down a jungle path>

Travis- The bastards!

Cobnat- What's wrong now Travis?

Travis- Didn’t you hear the moderator!? These assholes are trying to make an honest living!

Cobnat- So?

Travis- In their own fucking country!

<Chavez emerges from the jungle>

Chavez- The bastards!

Cobnat- Damnit Chavez, I thought I told you not to go pee while were on patrol.

Chavez- Ah… I couldn’t help it homes… its this jungle, it makes me want to pee.

Cobnat- What ever, your point man…

<Cobnat gives a chuckle>

Cobnat- Get it! “Point man”… because he was out peeing…

Travis- That’s a terrible joke.

Cobnat- Pffft, what do you know about funny.

Chavez- No homes, he's right, I could get killed as point man, do you really want the last thing I ever hear to be that lame joke?

Cobnat- The last thing you'll hear is my foot entering your ass if you don’t shut the fuck up!

Chavez- What kind of sound would that make, do you think?

<Cobnat gets angry and smacks Chavez over the head>

Cobnat- Wait… do you hear that?

<The sound of soldiers drinking and singing is heard up ahead>

Cobnat- Chavez, Travis, stay alert, I'm going to scout up ahead.

<Cobnat jumps into the jungle, then comes back a couple minutes later>

Cobnat- Just as I thought, its an entire platoon of Ukabecameccahellastanies. We need to get back to base and…

Travis- NO! We go in now, I can take them on.

Cobnat- Fine, Ill see you later then.

Chavez- No, I think he's right homes, we could take them, we could at least take down a few before retreating to our base.

Cobnat- Alright the plan is for us to shoot like hell until they start shotting back, so it will be a total of 5 to 10 seconds before that happens, then we send out Chavez to charge them…

Chavez- What! Why me, eh?

Cobnat- Duh… because you’re an immigrant, that makes you expendable…

Chavez- But I'm from upstate Michigan!

Travis- How dare you back talk to your ranking superior!

Cobnat- Ill handle this Travis, How dare you back talk to your ranking superior! Why I have the mind to shoot you right now for treason!

Chavez- Alright, Ill go, but promise me that if I die… you'll bury me in gold.

Cobnat- Err… sure, why not…

<Cobnat, Travis and Chavez start shooting in the position they think the enemy is in, after the enemy starts shooting back, Chavez gets up and charges them, he quickly gets mowed down by machine gun fire>

Cobnat- Alright Travis, your turn…
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#10 User is offline   Cobnat Icon

  • Viva Phillippena Radio!
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  • Interests:Body Disposal.
  • Country:Australia

Posted 25 July 2006 - 10:46 PM

3w4ym4yd4y - With Cobnat, Travis and Chavez

We find Cobnat, Travis and Chavez returning to camp after defeating an entire 1000 strong division of Ukabecameccahellastanies using only an Assault Rifle, some bullets, a knife and a packet of instant noodles...

So here is Cobnat, Travis and Chavez in thier first official episode entitled: That Damn Toilet: Part One...

<Cobnat, Travis and Chavez are walking towards the gate of thier camp>

Travis- Hey, do you guys think that this episode will have a toilet in it?

Cobnat- You really know how to fuck up the aroma the Moderator tries to set up.

Moderator- Bloody Travis.

Travis- Hey shutup, I am what makes this story even worth reading...

Cobnat- Look, whatever, lets just get on with the story.

Chavez- But do you think there 'is' a toilet in the camp?

Cobnat- Why do you ask?

Chavez- Becouse last time they were just setting the camp up and the camp didnt have plumbing, I had to piss in these wine bottles.

<They all stop>

Cobnat- Wine bottles you say?

Chavez- Yeah.

<Cobnat turns green>

Cobnat- Where did you find these wine bottles?

Chavez- In a crate along with some M-60's.

Cobnat- Oh good... I thought it was... nevermind...

Travis- M-60? You son of a bitch! That was my secret stash! I was smuggling in those wines for the officers! Ill kill you!

Chavez- But... Sergeant help me!

Cobnat- Nah... Im with Travis on this one.

<Travis runs towards Chavez with a knife in his hands but then trips over a rock>

Cobnat- Damn rocks. Well you got lucky this time Chavez, dont you be going and pissing in anymore wine bottles.

Chavez- I wont, sir.

Cobnat- That a boy, now help me with Travis.

<The two pick up the unconscience soldier and carry him to the camp>
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#11 User is offline   Cobnat Icon

  • Viva Phillippena Radio!
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Posted 01 August 2006 - 08:16 PM

It Is Good To Give Your Live

It is good to give your live for your country,
Many cannot say this shame,
But who are they,
Nobodies who are looking for their claim to fame,
It is good to give your live for your country,
Many have heard the call and came,
It is good to give your live for your country,
Your country would give you the same,
For once you give your live for your country,
They give you a little white cross attached with your name.

---

For some reason I cant put in bold or center align tags, bloody interface... anyway this is a poem I wrote for English, hope you guys and girls like it.
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