Chefelf.com Night Life: EXTINCT BEVERAGE REVIEW!!! - Chefelf.com Night Life

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EXTINCT BEVERAGE REVIEW!!! So good it deserves all caps.

#1 User is offline   J m HofMarN Icon

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Posted 13 March 2006 - 04:47 PM

The heyday of Chefelf's extinct beverage reviews, if I'm not mistaken, was before the terrorist attacks on the WTC, before Bush went and started wars everywhere, and before Emo got popular. Now I'm not saying it's Chefelf's fault for not using his extinct beverage reviews to prevent these occurences, I'm just makin' an observation is all. The observation that there hasn't been a terrorist attack or a war started since this article was posted, and that as our elected cutest redcloud brother representative, Chefelf has an obligation to continue to protect us.

I loved the testimonials from "real" customers. I know exactly what they mean when they say that a drink with some crushed up mint in it is able to keep them young forever. I guess that's what Sean Connery was drinking in Indiana Jones and the Last Crucade. It may seem silly to allege that a drink can give such wonderful medical benefits, but I've tried it. I'm drinking Hi-C right now to cure that bothersome case of leprosy I have and... oh there goes my finger, gotta run.

This post has been edited by J m HofMarN: 13 March 2006 - 04:53 PM

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I don't know about you but I have never advocated that homosexuals, for any reason, be cut out of their mother's womb and thrown into a bin.
- Deucaon toes a hard line on gay fetus rights.
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#2 User is offline   SimeSublime Icon

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Posted 14 March 2006 - 07:54 AM

I want to go to Water Country now sad.gif

I did quite like the destructive and foolhardy line.
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#3 User is offline   barend Icon

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Posted 15 March 2006 - 07:36 PM



this was my favorite lemonade
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#4 User is offline   J m HofMarN Icon

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Posted 16 March 2006 - 03:50 AM

Jeebus! You lot, excepting Sime and Barend (And Barend to an extent for not even mentioning the review), should be ashamed of yourselves. Chefelf comes out of retirement for one more bout with the Apollo Creed of beverages and you all sit around and can't even say one nice word when the topic is in such big letters as to be impossible to miss?

Apathy like this is what kills great sites like L&E, especially when we're treated to the express priveledge of the return of the extinct beverage review. I shudder to imagine how few people would notice if he went and got Deathstalker 1 and suffered through it for all of us.

In short, if there are not "thank you Chefelf" banners on everyone's personal website, and at least one spontaneous street party does not break out for the pure joy produced by the presence of this review, I will be forced to activate the space laser.

I wasn't being sarcastic about a damned thing except the space laser by the way. It's really just the base part of a green Kellog's Saber Spoon. But, ya know, still.

Quote

I don't know about you but I have never advocated that homosexuals, for any reason, be cut out of their mother's womb and thrown into a bin.
- Deucaon toes a hard line on gay fetus rights.
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#5 User is offline   SimeSublime Icon

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Posted 16 March 2006 - 08:44 AM

Mines red! I think I got an evil one as I had to guild an elderly couple into giving it to me.
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#6 User is offline   Otal Nimrodi Icon

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Posted 16 March 2006 - 10:14 AM

HOORAY FOR CHEFELF!
Want a Tarot reading?

PM me, we'll talk.
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#7 User is offline   J m HofMarN Icon

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Posted 16 March 2006 - 02:12 PM

Sime- I really wanted a blue or red one. And I wonder if the dark side saberspoon Jedi aren't going to be pretty outnumbered seeing as there should be a 2-1 ratio of lightsabers.

Otal- There, that's more like it.

Quote

I don't know about you but I have never advocated that homosexuals, for any reason, be cut out of their mother's womb and thrown into a bin.
- Deucaon toes a hard line on gay fetus rights.
0

#8 User is offline   Chefelf Icon

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Posted 16 March 2006 - 04:29 PM

QUOTE (J m HofMarN @ Mar 16 2006, 03:50 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Jeebus! You lot, excepting Sime and Barend (And Barend to an extent for not even mentioning the review), should be ashamed of yourselves. Chefelf comes out of retirement for one more bout with the Apollo Creed of beverages and you all sit around and can't even say one nice word when the topic is in such big letters as to be impossible to miss?

Apathy like this is what kills great sites like L&E, especially when we're treated to the express priveledge of the return of the extinct beverage review. I shudder to imagine how few people would notice if he went and got Deathstalker 1 and suffered through it for all of us.

In short, if there are not "thank you Chefelf" banners on everyone's personal website, and at least one spontaneous street party does not break out for the pure joy produced by the presence of this review, I will be forced to activate the space laser.

I wasn't being sarcastic about a damned thing except the space laser by the way. It's really just the base part of a green Kellog's Saber Spoon. But, ya know, still.


J m, cool out or else everyone's going to think you are my totally insecure alter ego who craves praise and admiration. Of course I know I'm not you because if I was I'd have a much more encylopedic knowledge of my works.
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#9 User is offline   SimeSublime Icon

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Posted 16 March 2006 - 09:50 PM

QUOTE (SimeSublime @ Mar 16 2006, 09:44 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Mines red! I think I got an evil one as I had to guild an elderly couple into giving it to me.

I should say that I 'guilted' them. Stupid typo.
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#10 User is offline   J m HofMarN Icon

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Posted 16 March 2006 - 10:00 PM

Chef- Hey, no way. You're my alter ego, not the other way around. Just because I wake up every morning with a chef's hat, elf ears, and a dead Welsh whore it dosn't mean you're the original personality in this body! And I have tons of points in my "Knowledge: Chefelf complaining about stuff" skill.

And I may have been a bit overzealous, but I was just hoping to drum up some interest in the interests of perhaps bringing about more such reviews through forced positive reinforcement. I'll de-activate the space laser.... for now.

Sime- I thought the Jedi guilt trick didn't work on the elderly, only money.

This post has been edited by J m HofMarN: 16 March 2006 - 10:04 PM

Quote

I don't know about you but I have never advocated that homosexuals, for any reason, be cut out of their mother's womb and thrown into a bin.
- Deucaon toes a hard line on gay fetus rights.
0

#11 User is offline   SimeSublime Icon

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Posted 16 March 2006 - 10:23 PM

It's a Sith technique, it works differently.
The Green Knight, SimeSublime the Puffinesque, liker of chips and hunter of gnomes.
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#12 User is offline   J m HofMarN Icon

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Posted 17 March 2006 - 05:16 AM

So you clouded their vision then?

Quote

I don't know about you but I have never advocated that homosexuals, for any reason, be cut out of their mother's womb and thrown into a bin.
- Deucaon toes a hard line on gay fetus rights.
0

#13 User is offline   SimeSublime Icon

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Posted 18 March 2006 - 09:59 PM

Rather then just alter their way of thinking by force(in fact, THE force, as the case happens to be), I employed guile and tact to convince them to feel sorry for me.
The Green Knight, SimeSublime the Puffinesque, liker of chips and hunter of gnomes.
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#14 User is offline   barend Icon

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Posted 21 March 2006 - 08:57 PM

thankyou chefelf!!! we love you, and i ddn't really need to be prompted by your 'totally insecure alter ego who craves praise and admiration'
in fact i haven't read a single post on this thread...

i just really miss leed lemonade and threw in my two cents when i saw a thread title talking about extinct soft drinks... but i'll read the article as soon as i get back from lunch.
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#15 User is offline   J m HofMarN Icon

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Posted 29 March 2006 - 12:39 AM

If you miss Leed Lemonade it dosn't qualify as a proper extinct beverage. An extinct beverage should be as missed as the orbitz "ballz" I tried to spit out the window of a moving car and that then came back and hit me in the face. Ew man, ew.

Though, as far as good extinct beverages go, I have some fond memories of crystal Pepsi.

Quote

I don't know about you but I have never advocated that homosexuals, for any reason, be cut out of their mother's womb and thrown into a bin.
- Deucaon toes a hard line on gay fetus rights.
0

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