Joke Thread
#61
Posted 14 April 2006 - 07:20 AM
Ok, that makes sense now. To be honest, I don't find it that amusing, but at least I understand now.
The Green Knight, SimeSublime the Puffinesque, liker of chips and hunter of gnomes.
JM's official press secretary, scientific advisor, diplomat and apparent antagonist?
JM's official press secretary, scientific advisor, diplomat and apparent antagonist?
#62
Posted 14 April 2006 - 09:09 AM
QUOTE (SimeSublime @ Apr 14 2006, 07:20 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Ok, that makes sense now. To be honest, I don't find it that amusing, but at least I understand now.
Oh so all jokes are meant to be amusing? I wil try next time but not sure if you will get the same enjoyment.
#63
Posted 14 April 2006 - 11:36 AM
Er Dee, try simpler jokes with a even simpler punchline, that way no one will think your weird...
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#66
Posted 14 April 2006 - 12:15 PM
QUOTE (Gobbler @ Apr 14 2006, 12:11 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Well, I've got no idea. So why don't they?
(1) Logically some foreigners don't eat snails or slugs.
What I was really meaning:
(2) In this case: Because the foreigners ARE the snails.
There is another bit to the joke, if you have not worked it out would you like me to explain?
This post has been edited by Deepsycher: 14 April 2006 - 12:19 PM
#67
Posted 14 April 2006 - 12:20 PM
I like number 2, it was very funny.
Official Forum! (UPDATED)
Great Quotes Of The 21st Century/Cobnat gets serious!
Ron Paul At AntiWar.com/A Writing Guild For The Clinically Retarded/Death By Quotes/AntiWar/Early Justin Raimondo articles/In Defense Of Yoshiro Mori By Justin Raimondo/Vox Popoli
Evil Happens/This Is A Knife!/Minorities, too!/
AYBABTU/Che Guevara Action Figure!/Strange Humour
Great Quotes Of The 21st Century/Cobnat gets serious!
Ron Paul At AntiWar.com/A Writing Guild For The Clinically Retarded/Death By Quotes/AntiWar/Early Justin Raimondo articles/In Defense Of Yoshiro Mori By Justin Raimondo/Vox Popoli
Evil Happens/This Is A Knife!/Minorities, too!/
AYBABTU/Che Guevara Action Figure!/Strange Humour
#68
Posted 14 April 2006 - 12:22 PM
QUOTE (COBNAT @ Apr 14 2006, 12:20 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I like number 2, it was very funny.
Number one was what might be thought of at first.
Now using the information from number two, can you state the rest from your perspective?
#69
Posted 25 March 2007 - 06:24 PM
Poland, in the days before democracy settled down, went through times as bad as anywhere in Europe. After centuries of occupation by so many nations, being free from the Russian yoke was a weird experience; Poland emerged blinking into the bright lights of democracy and freedom.
Of course it was not like that at all; Poles knew what freedom was, and took to it like children in a sweet shop. But there were problems, and the shortages did not disappear overnight ... So when his last light bulb burned out, Old Stefan knew he'd have to stand in line for two hours at the store (and there would probably be none left by the time he got to the front of the queue). So he went up into his attic and started rummaging around for an old oil lamp he vaguely remembered from decades ago.
He found the old brass lamp in a corner, stained with grime of ages. He started to polish it and a Genie appeared in cloud of smoke.
"Hello, Mortal!" said the Genie, stretching and yawning, "For releasing me I will grant you three wishes."
The old man was astounded. But you don't live to his age in Central Europe without thinking on your feet. "I want Ghengis Khan resurrected. I want him to re-unite his Mongol hordes, march to the Polish border, and then decide he has no argument with the Poles, and march back home."
"No sooner said than done!" thunders the Genie. "Your second wish?"
"Ok. I want Ghengis Khan resurrected. I want him to re-unite his Mongol hordes, march to the Polish border, and then decide he has no argument with the Poles, and march back home."
"Hmmm. Well, if you're sure. Your third wish?"
"I want Ghengis Khan resurrected. I want him to re-unite his ..."
"We've done this, we've been there. What's this business about Ghengis Khan marching to Poland and turning around again?"
The old man has a gentle smile, but there's no humour in his eyes ...
"He has to pass through Russia six times."
Of course it was not like that at all; Poles knew what freedom was, and took to it like children in a sweet shop. But there were problems, and the shortages did not disappear overnight ... So when his last light bulb burned out, Old Stefan knew he'd have to stand in line for two hours at the store (and there would probably be none left by the time he got to the front of the queue). So he went up into his attic and started rummaging around for an old oil lamp he vaguely remembered from decades ago.
He found the old brass lamp in a corner, stained with grime of ages. He started to polish it and a Genie appeared in cloud of smoke.
"Hello, Mortal!" said the Genie, stretching and yawning, "For releasing me I will grant you three wishes."
The old man was astounded. But you don't live to his age in Central Europe without thinking on your feet. "I want Ghengis Khan resurrected. I want him to re-unite his Mongol hordes, march to the Polish border, and then decide he has no argument with the Poles, and march back home."
"No sooner said than done!" thunders the Genie. "Your second wish?"
"Ok. I want Ghengis Khan resurrected. I want him to re-unite his Mongol hordes, march to the Polish border, and then decide he has no argument with the Poles, and march back home."
"Hmmm. Well, if you're sure. Your third wish?"
"I want Ghengis Khan resurrected. I want him to re-unite his ..."
"We've done this, we've been there. What's this business about Ghengis Khan marching to Poland and turning around again?"
The old man has a gentle smile, but there's no humour in his eyes ...
"He has to pass through Russia six times."
#70
Posted 25 March 2007 - 06:26 PM
QUOTE (Deepsycher @ Apr 14 2006, 09:09 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Oh so all jokes are meant to be amusing?
That is the single greatest sentence of ALL TIME. We might as well abandon all written thought, because the best congregation of words is right there. Congrats, DS.
"I've come here to chew bubble gum and kick ass. And I'm all out of bubble gum."
-John Carpenter's They Live
"God help us...in the future."
-Plan 9 from Outer Space
nooooo
-John Carpenter's They Live
"God help us...in the future."
-Plan 9 from Outer Space
nooooo