[Zewb]

Bad Luck

I was on my way to the supermarket to buy a new mirror. Upon entering the store, I walked nonchalantly on the cracked tile floor, underneath a large construction ladder, and I tripped over a black cat and, in an attempt to regain my balance, knocked several large salt containers off the top shelf.

The next day, I woke up face down on the floor in my own vomit. The power was out in my house, so the milk had gone bad, and, in a desperate and foolish attempt to eat Cap’n Crunch without milk, the roof of my mouth was lacerated beyond recognition and my hair burst into flames. Upon further investigation, I found that my toilet was backed up and I had jury duty.

Soon, my main concern was restoring my luck, so I scheduled an appointment with a superstition expert. I asked him if I should get a rabbit’s paw, but he stated that rabbit’s paws are not luck charms. In fact they are actually bad luck. It made sense, I mean, take a look at rabbits. They’re not the luckiest creatures in the world. They get eaten by wolves, run over by race cars, and occasionally, their mansions are destroyed by freakishly large blonde girls. He also said that horseshoes aren’t lucky either. Horses wear them all the time and they end up pulling wagons and being spurred by rednecks. In fact, the only object in the world that carries good fortune is apple pie, but the bakeries were closed and I had no electricity.

I asked him if there was anything I could do to restore my luck. He told me he knew an ancient incantation that would restore a persons luck…for 80 bucks. I was astonished that he would extort people like that, so I told him to go jump in a lake. On my way home, I wondered about what he said, but then I realized, this superstition stuff is nothing more than a series of coincidences that resulted from my own imagination. Nothing but a phenomenon resulting from paranoia and expectations. I suddenly felt better about the whole ordeal, and realized there was nothing to worry about.


That’s when the bear attacked me.

[Zatoichi]

Nice, I especially liked your ending.

[Gobbler]

I second that.

[Marky]

But upon telling us this story, the protaonist magically survived. Now, that's what I call lucky

This post has been edited by Marky: 01 March 2006 - 02:41 PM