Chefelf.com Night Life: Dry humor, or nonexistant humor? - Chefelf.com Night Life

Jump to content

Page 1 of 1

Dry humor, or nonexistant humor? A satire written under extreme stress.

#1 User is offline   Mirithorn Icon

  • Expert Misologist
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • Group: Members
  • Posts: 2,331
  • Joined: 06-July 05
  • Location:Over There
  • Country:United States

Posted 16 February 2006 - 10:28 PM

After my many Adventures I was quite content to spend the Rest of my Days in Peace, but Circumstances were such that I had scarcely begun to settle myself in my Home when I was uprooted from it once more. As I have related, I spent much of my Time in the Stable in which two noble Huoyhnmnms lived. An old Woman arrived at my House a week before the strange Events described herein, informing me that my Houyhnmnms had been eating her Flowers and she would be forced to take Action but I did not recognize her and therefore worried little. I had been discussing English Literature with them one Morning (though I had found that their Speech differed so greatly from that of the Huoyhnmnms I had once known so greatly that I could not understand it even with the greatest of Effort), and I fancied I felt the lapping of Waves pushing the Stable from one Side to another as if it were a Ship. However, I took this to be only another Trick or Prank or Deception of my Mind and did not pay it Care.
I felt then a Gust of Wind through the Window at which the Huoyhnmnms fled the Shelter, although I had barely enough time to notice a black Funnel of foul Dust near to my Stable when I was lifted off of the Ground along with it by this Whirlwind. At first I feared for my Life, but soon found that I could stand with ease by the Window and observe all that passed, and there was much. My Huoyhnmnms ventured out of the Door, however, and I lost Sight of them. That peculiar Woman I have previously mentioned had been blown close to my Viewpoint mounted upon some peculiar Device made of metal. She seemingly by moving her Feet in a circular motion on Rods joined to the body of the Machine (Forgive me if I wrongly perceive the Details, such a state of Disturbance was I in) made the Wheels spin, which on Land must have afforded her much Speed.
Unfortunately, the dust blew for a moment before the window and I was forced to retreat, and when could look again a cackling Witch with bright green Skin flew through the air in her Place.

Yeah, I know. It's not actually funny. That's kind of its one critical flaw. Any suggestions on how to make it funnier would be much appreciated.
"YOU'RE MISSING A PERIOD. YOU THINK IT'S FUNNY, DON'T YOU? YOU THINK IT'S FUNNY THAT YOU FUCK WITH GRAMMAR? WELL, FUCK YOU AND FUCK YOUR MISSING PERIOD! I HOPE IT MEANS YOUR SLUTTY, NON-PUNCTUATED WAYS HAVE GOTTEN YOU TEEN-PREGNANT!"

0

#2 User is offline   Zatoichi Icon

  • Left Hand Man
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • Group: Members
  • Posts: 2,250
  • Joined: 04-August 05
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Upstate NY
  • Interests:Conquering the World! Being the who when you call "Who's there?"
  • Country:United States

Posted 17 February 2006 - 01:27 AM

I really don't understand what's going on, except that you might be alluding to the Wizard of Oz. A question though, that technique you use by capitalizing many of the words that shouldn't be, where have you seen that before. I've seen it in a book series I liked, but I can't recall it offhand.
Apparently writing about JM here is his secret weakness. Muwahaha!!!! Now I have leverage over him and am another step closer towards my goal of world domination.

"And the Evil that was vanquished shall rise anew. Wrapped in the guise of man shall he walk amongst the innocent and Terror shall consume they that dwell upon the Earth. The skies will rain fire. The seas shall become as blood. The righteous shall fall before the wicked! And all creation shall tremble before the burning standards of Hell!" - Mephisto

Kurgan X showed me this web comic done with Legos. It pokes fun at all six Star Wars films and I found it to be extremely entertaining.
<a href="http://www.irregularwebcomic.net/cast/starwars.html" target="_blank">http://www.irregularwebcomic.net/cast/starwars.html</a>
0

#3 User is offline   SimeSublime Icon

  • Monkey Proof
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • Group: Moderators
  • Posts: 6,619
  • Joined: 06-May 04
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Perth, Western Australia
  • Country:Australia

Posted 17 February 2006 - 02:16 AM

I didn't really know what was happening either. Except that somebody was riding on a bike.
The Green Knight, SimeSublime the Puffinesque, liker of chips and hunter of gnomes.
JM's official press secretary, scientific advisor, diplomat and apparent antagonist?
0

#4 User is offline   Mirithorn Icon

  • Expert Misologist
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • Group: Members
  • Posts: 2,331
  • Joined: 06-July 05
  • Location:Over There
  • Country:United States

Posted 17 February 2006 - 03:11 PM

Jonathon Swift capitalizes all of his nouns. I'm working on it. The real issue is that although it is a satire it has neither attack nor humor, rendering it completely pointless. I'm considering having Gulliver go back to that place with the immortal people and find out that they were actually just playing a joke on him.
"YOU'RE MISSING A PERIOD. YOU THINK IT'S FUNNY, DON'T YOU? YOU THINK IT'S FUNNY THAT YOU FUCK WITH GRAMMAR? WELL, FUCK YOU AND FUCK YOUR MISSING PERIOD! I HOPE IT MEANS YOUR SLUTTY, NON-PUNCTUATED WAYS HAVE GOTTEN YOU TEEN-PREGNANT!"

0

#5 User is offline   Mirithorn Icon

  • Expert Misologist
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • Group: Members
  • Posts: 2,331
  • Joined: 06-July 05
  • Location:Over There
  • Country:United States

Posted 22 February 2006 - 09:56 PM

But WAIT! There's MORE!

Soon I lost Sight of her as well, and, as there was little else I was able to do, I lay down upon the Straw and the rocking Motion easily allowed me to sleep. I awoke to a Jolt so severe that I was thrown off of the Straw and hit the Wall of the Stable with great Force. In a few Moments, I was well enough recovered to stand and investigate my Surroundings. When I peered out of the Window, I found that I was surrounded by Lilliputians once more. They seemed to be cheering and waving their Arms in Greeting – some of them even seemed to be singing and offering me Lollipops, so I smiled and bowed as gracefully as I could after the sudden Events of the past few Seconds. Unfortunately, my Glasses had smashed when my Stable fell to the Ground, and for this reason I perceived them with imperfect Accuracy. As I bowed, my Face was brought closer to them and the Pressure in my Ears, which had previously made it difficult for me to hear, returned to Normal and I found my Face not six Inches away from a Crowd of Lilliputians screaming angrily at me, for apparently I had crushed the Castle and its Inhabitants. The Objects that I had thought to be Lollipops came into Focus as Axes and Spears and other Weapons of Various Kinds.
I hurriedly pulled myself upright once more and ran with as much Speed as my Legs could manage; indeed, Fear of the poisoned Arrows I had been shot with before gave me Swiftness. I would hear give the Names of all I saw in that Crowd, but I could not identify each in my Hurry to escape. After running a distance of about Half of a Mile, my Pursuers had fallen far enough behind me that I had no need to worry about them any longer. I passed Farms and Lilliputians among them, but they alone could do me no Harm.


The main issue at this point is that it isn't actually a satire of anything in particular, other than how oddly consistantly calm Gulliver is.
"YOU'RE MISSING A PERIOD. YOU THINK IT'S FUNNY, DON'T YOU? YOU THINK IT'S FUNNY THAT YOU FUCK WITH GRAMMAR? WELL, FUCK YOU AND FUCK YOUR MISSING PERIOD! I HOPE IT MEANS YOUR SLUTTY, NON-PUNCTUATED WAYS HAVE GOTTEN YOU TEEN-PREGNANT!"

0

#6 User is offline   Deepsycher Icon

  • Giantness of Heart
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • Group: Former Members
  • Posts: 6,220
  • Joined: 22-December 05
  • Country:Nothing Selected

Posted 22 February 2006 - 10:40 PM

That sounds like a story of a giant, unfortunately for crushing the castle it appears to me that the small people only knew after?
0

#7 User is offline   Mirithorn Icon

  • Expert Misologist
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • Group: Members
  • Posts: 2,331
  • Joined: 06-July 05
  • Location:Over There
  • Country:United States

Posted 25 February 2006 - 03:00 PM

I finished it! Stunning how similar the final draft is to the original, isn't it?



Often in this hectic modern world, we find that schools have lost their once strong approach to ethics. This old fashioned method of teaching children right and wrong is neglected, just when it is needed most. Here at Bright Valley Day School, we work to bring back teaching of the Golden Rule, and produce children who will grow up to become productive and thoughtful citizens. Bright Valley works to create a nurturing environment in which children can thrive. To do this, we find it necessary from a very young age to teach our children kindness and respect of one another, but also to allow them the freedom that a growing child’s personality needs to develop fully.
Our effort towards this nurturing environment is apparent in a simple walk across the tree lined campus. We have two buildings devoted entirely to art and woodworking. Children take both of these classes during their years spent at Bright Valley. Our woodworking program for sixth graders includes asking the child to develop a mask of their very own to illustrate a story they write, or to show their personality. One thirteen year old boy wrote a delightfully vivid story to accompany his mask, a wonderful depiction of a bloodstained maggot infested skull, in which the main character, Billy Bob, drives his motorcycle off of a cliff into an oversized woodchipper. Obviously, deep thought and much creativity went into the manufacture of such a mask, which evoked a clear emotional, and sometimes even physical, reaction from all of his classmates.
Here at Bright Valley Day School, we believe that to be a productive member of society a child must develop not only intellectually, but also socially. We begin in our pre-kindergarten classes, by teaching the children that hitting eachother with plastic shovels and smashing eathother’s sandcastles is wrong. When they move on to older grades, unlike many modern schools, we continue this education of teaching children how to relate to one another. We are proud to say that these techniques have resulted in children in as low as third grade already emotionally mature enough to begin to navigate the social rigors of dating! Also, many parents aquiesce to our request that they host parties at their house but not supervise them, so as not to restrict the freedom of their child.
One of the most important aspects of teaching is to, at some point, step back and allow the children to discover solutions for themselves. A child would learn very little in a math class if the teacher solved all of the problems, after all. We believe that this philosophy applies just as much to social learning as to intellectual learning. Often, when our teachers see conflicts in the older grade levels, they step back and allow the children to resolve them for themselves.
While this is often rough for the students, the experience they gain is invaluable, whether they are coping with hurtful remarks from classmates or providing support to friends crying in the girl’s bathroom. As a result, their approaches are often very different to ones we would have used to solve the same issues. When a teacher can only think to resolve problems with derogatory comments from other students by direct confrontation, many of our girls come up with delightfully creative approaches instead, forging priceless alliances with classmates and forcing the other student to see the error of their ways in a way they will always remember.
Similar to our social teaching philosophy is our intellectual teaching philosophy. As Plato said, an unwilling soul remembers nothing it has learned. Mindful of this, we make an effort to make sure that children learn things as they naturally should. They attend classes when they are ready to learn the subject matter, developing their individual interests instead of conforming to strict standards of what education looks like. We have a strong culture of trust at Bright Valley. Very often teachers willl not know where a child who was in their class yesterday is today, but they trust that the students are doing something productive with their time. This culture of trust between faculty and students allows us to spend less time checking what children are doing or if they are relating ethically to one another.
We have found that when you push children, they only push back, and, in many cases, their grades drop as they are forced into more difficult classes. Not only our faculty, but many of the parents of our students are dedicated to creating a comfortable environment for the children, at home and at school. If we receive a complaint from a parent, we keep it, and monitor the child’s behavior to notice any improvement, but do not inform the child or their teachers. We celebrate our commitment to our vision despite the high dropout rate and complaints from parents. Without fail, the parents will find that the problem is resolved, or they will realize that their child is unable to perform in our rigourous academic environment and remove they from the school. We
In general, we note a stunning response to our method of teaching. Children develop in unpredictable ways based on their own individual strengths. We find that surprisingly few spend their time learning math and language skills. Most of our eigth graders are challenged when it comes to reading, addition, subtraction, and like subjects, but they do display exceptional developement in other areas. Some chose to express their creativity through unusual fashion statements, and we have no dress code so as not to discourage the more risque among them. Others build social empires with their classmates, fiting miniature battles over social status- quite a sight to see!
An important part of creating a nurturing environment is helping children to find a place in this environment that fits them. One girl who attended school persisted in wearing a red shirt and jeans when every other girl in the grade was wearing blue shirts and pink miniskirts. Despite repeated feedback from classmates and faculty, she was unable to understand her problem or to change, and regrettably, eventuallly we had no choice to advise her to leave.
This is a rare case, however- most stories such as this one end happily. If we find that a child is not participating soocially as much as they might, we bring them to speak to our eminent guidance counseler, Mr. Baker. Sometimes the problem is low self esteem which can be easily fixed by severe dieting or plastic surgery. At other times, it is a misunderstanding of what is socially expected of them- children who choose to write poetry rather than shop for new clothes. Almost always, proper support from the guidance counselor, their parents, and their peers can turn their behavior around and make them much happier and more productive.
Diversity is yet another crucial component of Bright Valleys education. We have high percentages of minority groups (see pg. 28), including green and brown eyed students and black, brown, and red haired students. Although many schools have high percentages of economically challenged students, one economic group almost always sorely underrepresented is the group of children from economically gifted families. At Bright Valley, although the school is predominantly upper middle class, 25% of the students are members of this minority economic group who have a 2 million dollar monthly income or above (.00001% of the U.S. population). It is also common to see members of racial minorities at Bright Valley. Despite this, we manage to maintain a striking similarity between all of our students, by both assessing how caucasian students’ features are when we admit them to the school, and by encouraging them to maintain our high aesthetic standards.
Our dress code works to that end. Bright Valley believes that dress codes start with the body itsself, in such aspects as it can be changed. Many schools discourage long or dyed hair, but fear to take their dress code further. We have a maximum body fat percentage of 15% for all of our students. If this is exceeded, the student will have one month to reduce their body fat percentage or they will be expelled. This is a rare occurance, however, as Bright Valley attracts physically motivated students who put a lot of effort into looking their best. Some critics claim that this maximum body fat percentage leads to organ failure, but we say it leads to social cohesiveness.
We also try to encourage high self esteem in keeping with our core principles. Therefore, our dress code also promotes positive body image. We believe it is wrong for students to cover their bodies as if they were ashamed of the way they looked. Skirts may not come to lower than mid thigh, “mid thigh” determined as the length the fingertips of s student reaches when her arms hang loosely by her sides. We also encourage lower cut shirts made of more transparent material than most schools allow. Here at Bright Valley, however, we believe that these standards allow our students to celebrate their diversity more completely.
Bright Valley required all students to keep up with changing fashion trends. This gives students an invaluable educational opportunity. Through watching and following such trends themselves, they become more astute at navigating among the changing winds of fashion that are so influential in adult life. We do, however realize that not all of our students are able to affort to spend the average of 2000 dollars per week that is required to do this. For this reason, we have established the Bright Valley Fashion Fund for our economically underprivileged students. Through modelling work, students can earn scholarships towards keeping up with changing fashion, giving all of our studentsd the opportunity of a lifetime.
From outstanding diversity, to a warm, nurturing environment allowing children to learn and grow, Bright Valley is an ideal vehical for your child on the path to adulthood. The lessons learned at Bright Valley last a lifetime. Children learn to make friends, become socially competent and athletically competent as well. All of the graduates of Bright Valley become beautiful, charming, and economically gifted members of the community. Bright Valley is a landing pad from which any child can reach for the stars. Your child would be an incredible addi tion to our close community, and we do hope that you make the decision to participate in the applications process. Every child is special. Some of them just aren’t special enough to attend Bright Valley.



BIBLIOGRAPHY

Shady Hill Admissions pamphlet
"YOU'RE MISSING A PERIOD. YOU THINK IT'S FUNNY, DON'T YOU? YOU THINK IT'S FUNNY THAT YOU FUCK WITH GRAMMAR? WELL, FUCK YOU AND FUCK YOUR MISSING PERIOD! I HOPE IT MEANS YOUR SLUTTY, NON-PUNCTUATED WAYS HAVE GOTTEN YOU TEEN-PREGNANT!"

0

#8 User is offline   Deepsycher Icon

  • Giantness of Heart
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • Group: Former Members
  • Posts: 6,220
  • Joined: 22-December 05
  • Country:Nothing Selected

Posted 25 February 2006 - 04:22 PM

Well that is good for them, but what I see everywhere I go is not teaching respect in that, "there is not enough time, money and that should be the parents job." Instead they use a thing called "authority" which is made to sound more important than people as a means of making them behave. I could be put out of my rights for not looking "pretty" and "trendy" like the others because "authority" was supposed to be more "important”, which is suppose to do all the "thinking for me", in telling me what to do, to make the institute look pretty for a society that sees “order” and “match, boxing” as progression, as if it was an army.

But it is not beneficial as if it was an army, except armies are self civilised and the participants choose to go. The “authority” I see did this by demeaning and brainwashing people to low esteem and low self confidence also to race related, that enforced people to study at lower grades (funding and time) in order to keep the status of the reputation in the area. In other words this is to class people to a lower standard as to the area. As to how “authority” is made, it could be like the case of “supply and demand” on who really wants a place, we make it as difficult as we can, to work against the people (but not working together) as a means to do what they want.

Even though "authority" does not hold a meaning altogether used in that sense at institutes, but as a cheap way of controlling large crowd of all kinds. Resembled in the image of "a throw away society" linked to "Do as you are told sit down and shut up”, “or someone else is always wanting your bed." If you do not as we say, you will be a tramp on the street." Instead of teaching others what is right from wrong on fighting, I see that special are places are allocated for them to sit or petty meaningless “detentions”. One disruption usually results in five minutes of a broken series.

So in the same style of “poor class”, instead of repairing “simply we will leave it”, “hit it” “refresh it” and “turn it back on” as an attempt of hope that the system will appear to look normal again, in the image of the song “whatever will be will be” by some drunkard at the pub who needs reassurance to keep this image valid of the empty life lived. Simply sounds like a society that works against each other. Also by the tactic of "drumming information in their heads" without learning the true meaning.

Question “Uniforms make you behave”, that is a myth and a distraction which makes me irritable, otherwise people like me would not be complaining, they did not even listen to those wearing it. “Pushing people to learn”, sounds like “pushing people to do as they are told”, yes but they push people to do lower grade as well or even subjects that are not important as value for money but not in higher class areas I see. The work is another thing depending on what class of area, in that they sometimes invasively cross the line from their jobs as guidance. One reason why I am against on how economics is used here is because of how it is exploited, in this way which gives teachers the excuse to have low expectations for people in poor areas that denies them chances due to “assuming the majority over the rest.” As to “supply and demand again.”

Instead of teaching people the health risks of drinking and smoking, authority is put in front to be more valued than health in a demeaning way of size and numbers in that "you are too young!", so when they turn at the age, I have the attitude of "I can do what the hell I want" without sustaining sensible values within meaning of looking after their health. Also I do not remember those taught the differences between drama and reality, so some people copy actions from films and games in which they turn up murdering someone as for not knowing those differences by accident. Even any lesson to teach people specifically how to handle some situations which plays an important role to this.

Sorry about the long post but that is how I see the situation from experience which is the opposite of the brochure. Yet it could be a dry sense of non existent joking to some people because it might have never happen to them to believe that. These are facts I see and most importantly I mean no offence to anyone. Also do not think, "I know it all" for these experiences, just incase, as they happened.

Fair information from the brochure, but not saying that every place is like what I described as above, I have to see it to believe it in order to compare.

This post has been edited by Deepsycher: 25 February 2006 - 04:51 PM

0

#9 User is offline   Slade Icon

  • Full of Bombs and/or Keys
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • Group: Head Moderator
  • Posts: 8,626
  • Joined: 30-November 03
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Columbia, SC
  • Interests:I like stuff.
  • Country:United States

Posted 25 February 2006 - 08:53 PM

Mirithorn: I like it, but you should try to skip lines between paragraphs when posting things on the internet because otherwise it all runs together and kills the eyes and brain. I hope you come up with your own Modest Proposal soon. biggrin.gif
This space for rent. Inquire within.
0

Page 1 of 1


Fast Reply

  • Decrease editor size
  • Increase editor size