[J m HofMarN]

Here at Chefelf 5 we're about more than just telling you what the man wants you to hear. No sirrey! We like to provide the kind of hard hitting investigative reporting you can only get from a barely literate web humorist fond of substance abuse and rough sodomy. We like to sniff out the rotten eggs in our world, poke them with things, and then tell you about it.

But we couldnt find any rotten eggs in the government, or in Denmark, as Hamlet had killed everyone there and that Fortenbraas dude cleaned it all up. We'll be examining that story in our cover-ups exposed edition.

So for now you'll have to settle with the question of whether or not Icey is saucey. Let's interview a section of the populace:

J M: J M Hoffman here for Chefelf 5 news. Today we're asking ordinary board members whether or not Icey is saucey. Your thoughts?
Rhubarb: um
J M: yes?
J M: there you have it folks, the words of a true Icey expert
Rhubarb: i'm not really a board member anymore though
J M: former board member turned political exile Rhubarb lends her opinion
Rhubarb: heh
J M: goodnight, and god speed
Rhubarb: night

Clearly Rhubarb had been run out of the forums by Icey's regime when she made the revelation that he was saucey. But to prove that I'd need more information. I'd need to harass Slade...

J M: J M Hoffman here for Chefelf 5 news. Today's story is Is Icet Saucey? Your thoughts sir?
Slade: That is a difficult question to answer properly... I believe that one must use Newton's Third Law of Firing Nerf Guns in conjunction with Planck's Constant Griping formula on a measurement of Icet obtained via an Improbability Drive.
J M: so you want to shove a thermometer up his arse?
Slade: That sounds like a plan.,
J M: and if he is too hot, then it will be clear that he is saucey. Brilliant\
Slade: Well, I do have seventy PHDs...
J M: I'd get that checked out if I were you, PHDs can lead to ADD and we all know that's the virus that causes AIDS
Slade: No, that's APHDs, not PHDs.
J M: Penile Hypodermal Dictotomy?

As you can see, Slade seems to think we need more research on the subject. Also, watch out! He may attempt to shove things up your ass and infect you with one of his many PHDs. I wanted to talk to a noted expert on Slade's sexual habits to try to delve deeper into this mystery. However, no local prostitutes were available who would comment on Slade's sexual habits, due to suspicion that he may be Jack The Ripper. But that's a whole other investigative report. Failing that I talked to Slade's girlfriend.

J M: ooooh bedd-dia, my home and native land
S G: estee efu
J M: etufee
J M: remoulade!
J M: ratatouille!
J M: bernaise!
J M: holandaise!
J M: mayonaise!
J M: bordeaux!
J M: dijon!
S G: je pense que tu sais pas que to dit
S G: *tu
J M: I do too!


Slade's girlfriend clearly provided the final piece of the puzzle, but it was in French, and all I could figure out was that I do too exclamation point. So, until the ancient and archaic language of France can be deciphered, the world may never know whether Icey is saucey, or, if we do, we will not be able to gauge just how saucey he is. Until someone invents a sauceyness scale. Then we will know how saucey he is.

This post has been edited by J m HofMarN: 24 November 2005 - 01:51 AM

[floppydisk]

JM, you have here an expert on Icey Sauciness. Take my word for it, Icey is so saucy you could use him on spaghetti.

[J m HofMarN]

Now thatsa spicey meata ball!

[Icey]

Yes JM, those who have had the pleasure of tasting my meatballs, do indeed find them spicey.

Want a nibble?

[J m HofMarN]

But are they also saucey? Of course I'd like to minute on your balls... Hey, wait a nibble!

[Coco]

How will I take the images off of my mind now?

[Slade]

*sings*Suck on my brown chocolate salty balls!

[Mirithorn]

Makes you wonder if some foreign company ever made some sort of translation error along those lines.

[Otal Nimrodi]

Well, I won't say it isn't possible. Considering that one translator made

"She is having a bad hair day"
into
"It is having a defective day of hats."

However, a reliable* online translator declares that the truth, in french, and I have not looked at it yet, but I have found that what SG said was...

I think that you do not know that you says.

*Was the inspiration for the game Engrish.

This post has been edited by Otal Nimrodi: 25 November 2005 - 09:01 PM

[floppydisk]

I'm surprised that the Google ads haven't exploded yet.

[Otal Nimrodi]

Whoops, there they go.

[Mirithorn]

My favorite translation mistake has got to be "Coca Cola will bring your ancestors back from the dead," leading to complaints from customers that the beverage did not do what it was advertised to do.

[Otal Nimrodi]

I'm partial to

I pleasantly hate the fact that straw raincoat shortage is cut, but you learn joke thin.

[Mirithorn]

:thinks: Well, most of it is reasonable....

But since when are straw raincoat shortages "fun"?

[Otal Nimrodi]

I don't know... And since when did the phantom talk like the incredible hulk?

Christine back! Big career! Carlotta paigeboy, Christine countess! Puny opera owners!