Fuckin' Ebay! my adventures with online buying
#1
Posted 17 October 2005 - 03:13 PM
I embarked on my oddyssey of Ebay discovery wide eyed and innocent, and returned a mere husk of a man. It began very well. Every non-digitaleyes seller I met accepted my payment and sent my item in a decent amount of time in an operational state.
Then I decided to buy a copy of Six String Samurai. I sent off my payment and waited. Two weeks later I got a letter asking for more information. I quickly sent it. Two MONTHS later I got a letter saying that the item had been discontinued and my money order was sent back.
Now unless you're a banker or a money order expert, or God himself, you don't know about refunding money orders. It can't be done. It dosnt matter that you bought the thing and filled it out and your signature and DNA is all over it. You're not getting your money back. They made some vague statement that my bank might be able to help me, but if I had a bank and credit cards and all that nonsense I wouldn't have been wandering around convenience stores making money orders, now would I?
Anyhow, I had a marvelous idea. I would send the money order back to pay for another DVD! This idea was foolproof, since one cant possibly cancel so many sales. I found another listing for a different version of Six String Samurai that digitaleyes was offering and sent the money order back. It came back today. The item was canceled. Again.
So I decided to forget about Six String Samurai and purchase Four Rooms. I sent the money order back today along with a lengthy note which I transcribe here:
Dear digital eyes dvd,
Hello, I've sent you payment for a dvd two times now, and have yet to receieve anything at all. The money order I am paying with can only be cashed by you, or possibly god. So, as sad as it is, I am forced to send you my money once again in hopes that maybe, just by mistake this time, you might somehow send me a DVD. Hell, it dosn't even have to be the DVD I'm asking for. Any DVD. If you cant find a DVD I like candy too, and I could use a stapler I guess. Really I don't care. But send me SOMETHING so that you can cash this money order and I'll have some sort of object to show for it. Under no circumstances are you to send me back this money order, which, as we have already established, is useless to me. If I see the money order again I will eat your soul.
-J. M. Hoffman, customer
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#4
Posted 17 October 2005 - 05:37 PM
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#5
Posted 17 October 2005 - 06:00 PM
#7
Posted 18 October 2005 - 09:35 AM
It is sometimes funny when these sorts of things happen to other people, but is usually sucky when it happens to ourselves. I have had a similar experience by the way.
This post has been edited by Zatoichi: 18 October 2005 - 09:35 AM
"And the Evil that was vanquished shall rise anew. Wrapped in the guise of man shall he walk amongst the innocent and Terror shall consume they that dwell upon the Earth. The skies will rain fire. The seas shall become as blood. The righteous shall fall before the wicked! And all creation shall tremble before the burning standards of Hell!" - Mephisto
Kurgan X showed me this web comic done with Legos. It pokes fun at all six Star Wars films and I found it to be extremely entertaining.
<a href="http://www.irregularwebcomic.net/cast/starwars.html" target="_blank">http://www.irregularwebcomic.net/cast/starwars.html</a>
#10
Posted 19 October 2005 - 11:20 AM
If you're really ambitious, you can download for free everything the Red Elvises ever recorded, and then delete the crap. Trust me, it ain't all "Love Pipe."
#11
Posted 19 October 2005 - 12:38 PM
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#13
Posted 19 October 2005 - 06:42 PM
What might have been interesting would have been if the movie had some comment to make about its central fiction: that there was a King of America, and he had dies, and his reign was based on music. Some narrative about the rise and fall of pop music superstars might have at least contained some meaning. Instead all we get from that is pointless narrative wankery, like all those rtoleplaying games that have these cool backdrops and no workable game mechanics. You know what I'm talking about.
Good B movies make you forget along the way that they're B movies: you get drawn in to the pace or the characters or the story. RHPS, before the audience participation, was one of those. SSS is horrible, and I wanted to like it: I knew a guy who did all of the compositing, who'd gone to high school with the director. I really wanted that thing to be good.
Anyway, give this guy negative feedback, so we can all read it and find out what your ebay ID is.
#14
Posted 19 October 2005 - 08:34 PM
And no, I'm not giving this jackass any negative feedback until he finally gives me my DVD. Imagine what he might send if I piss him off? I don't need to be getting anthrax or something.
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#15
Posted 20 October 2005 - 11:49 AM
Good point. If you're lucky he'll send you one of these:
http://cgi.ebay.com/...AMEWA%3AIT&rd=1
You could have loads of fun playing army men with this fine American soldier and your Excellency doll.
ebay rocks!!!!!!!