[J m HofMarN]

Fair enough, but if he sends me a used butt plug expect to be getting a package from me soon.

[civilian_number_two]

Well, just so long as you send me the butt plug, and not SIX STRING. The plug at least I could use.

[J m HofMarN]

Ok, that's it. I challenge you to prove that statement. You list the things that you can do with a butt plug and I'll list the things you can do with six string samurai dvd:

1Watch it,
2turn it over, nail it to a wall and make a nice sort of mirror,
3cut its edges to be jagged and use it as a ninja star against capitalists,
4widen the hole in it and use it as a portable vagina,
5frisby!
6watch it en espanol
7see what happens when you microwave it
8make copies of it and sell them bootlegged
9hot glue four small tabs onto the bottom and use it for a drink-coaster
10use a pen for an axel and put on another dvd to make a neat little wheely... thing
11break it in half and use it to cut your own throat when you realize how sad your life has become when you're arguing over the uses of buttplugs and dvds with people from canada!
12use it as a mneumonic device to remind you to take your medication to avoid the above.

This post has been edited by J m HofMarN: 21 October 2005 - 01:57 AM

[J m HofMarN]

I finally got the order confirmation for Four Rooms*, the DVD this guy finally (presumably) will send me after I tried twice to buy another DVD from him. With that email came this fascinating offer. Too bad it's sho shyte.

"We have also instituted the Digital Eyes Frequent Buyers Club, which
lets you earn points towards future Digital Eyes purchases. In fact,
you have already earned points with your Ebay order! You get a
point with every dollar you spend with us, which you can accumulate for
real future savings. Earn 200 points, get a $5 credit, up to 1000
points, which can be applied towards a $40 credit on any Digital Eyes
purchase. Don't forget to take advantage of this great program! Visit
our Answers page to answer any other questions you may have about
Digital Eyes policies and special programs."

That's all? If someone orders a metric ton of DVDs from this jackass they get 40 dollars to spend on MORE dvds? THE FUCK? That's the worst offer ever. If I order a thousand effing dollars in DVDs I dont want forty dollars to spend on more. I want to know that I have about one year freed up to do nothing but watch them, and I want a financing plan so I'll actually be able to pay for them.

* Civilian, if you intend to say something bad about this DVD, know that it will gain you a place on my "list of people to put in work camps after my glorious revolution" I know you wouldn't mind working on a collective farm while being prodded by guards, but keep in mind that the other inmates will be Hannibal, Thrawn, Fred Phelps and most members of the current American regime.

[SimeSublime]

But, 200 goes into 1000 five times, and 5x5=$25. It makes no sense.

[floppydisk]

Yeah, that makes you think you're getting a whole lot more money. It's like when they give you discounts for buying in bulk.

[J m HofMarN]

Buying in bulk makes sense. Buying approximately fifty to 100 dvds just to get 2 for free is fuckin insanity.

[civilian_number_two]

Any retail outlet in the mall will give you a 10% disount if you ask them nicely enough. Whent hey have sales they offer 20-30% Frequent buyer clubs average out at one free item every 10 items you buy, generally coming just a little short of 10% (the free one generally has a fixed price allowance).

This guy is offering a 2.5% purchase incentive, and sime is bang-on with the math. This guy is a tool, and he's not on top of his game if he's advertising movies he doesn't even have in stock.

FOUR ROOMS is nothing special, but it's better than SIX STRING. At least it has going for it that it is a collection of those directors at that time in their careers. Jeffrey Falcon moved back to China to play the Heavy in B-grade action, and Lance Mungia is back to sleeping on other people's couches while he struggles to find the right script to catapult him to superstardom.

If you still have time, ask him to swap FOUR ROOMS for this one. That's an Indie non-hit that is actually worth the price of shipping.

[J m HofMarN]

Yeah I was rather put off by that as well. Somehow I think he's being a bit egocentric to ever believe that someone would spend 1000 dollars on his stuff.

And everything you've said may be true, but at least Six String Samurai is more useful than a butt plug. I'm SO putting that in my review.

[Slade]

* Civilian, if you intend to say something bad about this DVD, know that it will gain you a place on my "list of people to put in work camps after my glorious revolution" I know you wouldn't mind working on a collective farm while being prodded by guards, but keep in mind that the other inmates will be Hannibal, Thrawn, Fred Phelps and most members of the current American regime.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

No, no. We agreed it was quartering work and drawing camps!

[J m HofMarN]

Right! Instead of work camps we'll have camps where people work at cutting themselves in quarters!

[J m HofMarN]

Every saga has an end. Every three months of waiting has a conclusion. Today I receieved a dvd. The circle... is complete.

ABOUT EFFING TIME DAMMIT! Now to make with the negative feedback!

[floppydisk]

Which DVD was it? Four Rooms or SSS?

[J m HofMarN]

Four Rooms, I shall make a present of it to my friend who is in the hotel industry.