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Malicious Marine Mammals Moving... in the sea Monday, September 26, 2005

#1 User is offline   Chyld Icon

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Posted 26 September 2005 - 02:58 PM

QUOTE
Armed and dangerous - Flipper the firing dolphin let loose by Katrina
Sunday September 25, 2005

It may be the oddest tale to emerge from the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina. Armed dolphins, trained by the US military to shoot terrorists and pinpoint spies underwater, may be missing in the Gulf of Mexico.

Experts who have studied the US navy's cetacean training exercises claim the 36 mammals could be carrying 'toxic dart' guns. Divers and surfers risk attack, they claim, from a species considered to be among the planet's smartest. The US navy admits it has been training dolphins for military purposes, but has refused to confirm that any are missing.

Dolphins have been trained in attack-and-kill missions since the Cold War. The US Atlantic bottlenose dolphins have apparently been taught to shoot terrorists attacking military vessels. Their coastal compound was breached during the storm, sweeping them out to sea. But those who have studied the controversial use of dolphins in the US defence programme claim it is vital they are caught quickly.

Leo Sheridan, 72, a respected accident investigator who has worked for government and industry, said he had received intelligence from sources close to the US government's marine fisheries service confirming dolphins had escaped.

'My concern is that they have learnt to shoot at divers in wetsuits who have simulated terrorists in exercises. If divers or windsurfers are mistaken for a spy or suicide bomber and if equipped with special harnesses carrying toxic darts, they could fire,' he said. 'The darts are designed to put the target to sleep so they can be interrogated later, but what happens if the victim is not found for hours?'

Usually dolphins were controlled via signals transmitted through a neck harness. 'The question is, were these dolphins made secure before Katrina struck?' said Sheridan.

The mystery surfaced when a separate group of dolphins was washed from a commercial oceanarium on the Mississippi coast during Katrina. Eight were found with the navy's help, but the dolphins were not returned until US navy scientists had examined them.

Sheridan is convinced the scientists were keen to ensure the dolphins were not the navy's, understood to be kept in training ponds in a sound in Louisiana, close to Lake Pontchartrain, whose waters devastated New Orleans.

The navy launched the classified Cetacean Intelligence Mission in San Diego in 1989, where dolphins, fitted with harnesses and small electrodes planted under their skin, were taught to patrol and protect Trident submarines in harbour and stationary warships at sea.

Criticism from animal rights groups ensured the use of dolphins became more secretive. But the project gained impetus after the Yemen terror attack on the USS Cole in 2000. Dolphins have also been used to detect mines near an Iraqi port.

http://observer.guar...1577753,00.html


Hmm, Jaws vs Dolphin with Gun. Looks like Jeffrey Rowland was right then...

Thanks to Coco for this one!
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#2 User is offline   Otal Nimrodi Icon

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Posted 26 September 2005 - 03:03 PM

Fascinating. Remind me not to go windsurfing. Wait, I never go windsurfing. Or diving. Never mind.
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#3 User is offline   Coco Icon

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Posted 26 September 2005 - 03:19 PM

Just imagine a general saying:

"We need the best for this operation. Send the dolphins."
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Posted 26 September 2005 - 03:19 PM

Ah, another great place for hard earned tax dollars to go.

Yippie skippie :angry:
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Kurgan X showed me this web comic done with Legos. It pokes fun at all six Star Wars films and I found it to be extremely entertaining.
<a href="http://www.irregularwebcomic.net/cast/starwars.html" target="_blank">http://www.irregularwebcomic.net/cast/starwars.html</a>
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Posted 26 September 2005 - 03:26 PM

Wow. This rivals the anti-terrorist submarines as the stupidest US expenditure ever. Until Dolphins become the kind of aquatic mammal that hangs out in Pakistani caves I don't think they're going to do jack shit. To terrorists anyways, obviously surfers are a different story.

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#6 User is offline   floppydisk Icon

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Posted 26 September 2005 - 03:51 PM

Am I the only one who thinks that dolphins with guns attached to thier heads is the coolest thing ever? A poor choice in spending money, sure, but it's still awesome.
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#7 User is offline   Otal Nimrodi Icon

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Posted 26 September 2005 - 04:24 PM

Yeah, but if they killed me, I wouldn't be worried about how they look.
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#8 User is offline   Zatoichi Icon

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Posted 26 September 2005 - 04:28 PM

I'd prefer sharks with lazers, but that's just me.
Apparently writing about JM here is his secret weakness. Muwahaha!!!! Now I have leverage over him and am another step closer towards my goal of world domination.

"And the Evil that was vanquished shall rise anew. Wrapped in the guise of man shall he walk amongst the innocent and Terror shall consume they that dwell upon the Earth. The skies will rain fire. The seas shall become as blood. The righteous shall fall before the wicked! And all creation shall tremble before the burning standards of Hell!" - Mephisto

Kurgan X showed me this web comic done with Legos. It pokes fun at all six Star Wars films and I found it to be extremely entertaining.
<a href="http://www.irregularwebcomic.net/cast/starwars.html" target="_blank">http://www.irregularwebcomic.net/cast/starwars.html</a>
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#9 User is offline   floppydisk Icon

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Posted 26 September 2005 - 04:43 PM

But you see, the sharks never got the lazers, and they had to settle for particularly vicous tuna fish. In the competition of sharks and lazers and dolphins and poison darts, the dolphins always win.

Plus: Haven't you ever seen flipper? Dolphinz R the pwn r00lz!!

This post has been edited by floppydisk: 26 September 2005 - 04:44 PM

QUOTE (Theodor Herzl)
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#10 User is offline   Zatoichi Icon

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Posted 26 September 2005 - 05:49 PM

Ha! I just heard the story on the radio on my way home.
Apparently writing about JM here is his secret weakness. Muwahaha!!!! Now I have leverage over him and am another step closer towards my goal of world domination.

"And the Evil that was vanquished shall rise anew. Wrapped in the guise of man shall he walk amongst the innocent and Terror shall consume they that dwell upon the Earth. The skies will rain fire. The seas shall become as blood. The righteous shall fall before the wicked! And all creation shall tremble before the burning standards of Hell!" - Mephisto

Kurgan X showed me this web comic done with Legos. It pokes fun at all six Star Wars films and I found it to be extremely entertaining.
<a href="http://www.irregularwebcomic.net/cast/starwars.html" target="_blank">http://www.irregularwebcomic.net/cast/starwars.html</a>
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Posted 26 September 2005 - 07:57 PM

Dolphins with guns? That's so freakin' awesome....

Wait a second. They're missing in the Gulf of Mexico? They can attack us! I think it's time to unleash the Mexican Acid Spitting Penguins!
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#12 User is offline   Zatoichi Icon

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Posted 26 September 2005 - 08:02 PM

I don't know, they been training them since 89
Apparently writing about JM here is his secret weakness. Muwahaha!!!! Now I have leverage over him and am another step closer towards my goal of world domination.

"And the Evil that was vanquished shall rise anew. Wrapped in the guise of man shall he walk amongst the innocent and Terror shall consume they that dwell upon the Earth. The skies will rain fire. The seas shall become as blood. The righteous shall fall before the wicked! And all creation shall tremble before the burning standards of Hell!" - Mephisto

Kurgan X showed me this web comic done with Legos. It pokes fun at all six Star Wars films and I found it to be extremely entertaining.
<a href="http://www.irregularwebcomic.net/cast/starwars.html" target="_blank">http://www.irregularwebcomic.net/cast/starwars.html</a>
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#13 User is offline   SithAvenger Icon

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Posted 26 September 2005 - 08:06 PM

We have been training Acid Spitting Penguins since 1735.
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#14 User is offline   Zatoichi Icon

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Posted 26 September 2005 - 08:21 PM

but dolphins are smarter
Apparently writing about JM here is his secret weakness. Muwahaha!!!! Now I have leverage over him and am another step closer towards my goal of world domination.

"And the Evil that was vanquished shall rise anew. Wrapped in the guise of man shall he walk amongst the innocent and Terror shall consume they that dwell upon the Earth. The skies will rain fire. The seas shall become as blood. The righteous shall fall before the wicked! And all creation shall tremble before the burning standards of Hell!" - Mephisto

Kurgan X showed me this web comic done with Legos. It pokes fun at all six Star Wars films and I found it to be extremely entertaining.
<a href="http://www.irregularwebcomic.net/cast/starwars.html" target="_blank">http://www.irregularwebcomic.net/cast/starwars.html</a>
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#15 User is offline   SithAvenger Icon

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Posted 26 September 2005 - 08:23 PM

But penguins are cooler

Well, technically they're cooler. They live in the ice. smile.gif
Sorry, you won't be seeing a smartass sig here. Try with the next poster.
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