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Why the Jedi cannot love More reasons that make sense

#1 User is offline   J m HofMarN Icon

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Posted 14 September 2005 - 10:44 PM

Aside from the strong emotions it creates, consider this: Would anyone have been able to stand two more smart asses like Yoda or Mace hanging around? Instead of just two of their dumb asses there could have been four. I imagine the second Mace would be played by Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Obi Wan: The planet's missing from the archives, what do you think, Jedi masters?

Yoda: So simple a child could figure it out

Yida: Like that one right there

Mace: Your Obi Wan brain is dummer than the brain of the child

Mice: You're not even worthy to hold a lightsaber you pathetic girly man!

Obi Wan: So this is what it feels like to turn to the dark side...

Someone, possibly Palps, probably had this conversation with a Jedi master, and I'm sure it's possible considering how gullible they are.

Palpatine: Master Yoda, I have important business!

Yoda: Is it a war? You know we Jedi cannot fight in wars, or get kittens out of trees, or do anything besides make smart comments and negotiate trade disputes. If more deodorant you used, smell so bad you would not!

Palpatine: Well, ok. But anyhow, I wanted to tell you that the Jedi must not be able to love. If the Jedi get it on and produce more Jedi, it will break the force!

Yoda: If broken the force is, wait for it to be balanced, we will have to. Acceptable that is not. Get it on with Yaddle again, I must never.

Palpatine: A wise decision. Now, I must also tell you that the key to the power of the light side of the force lies in my penis, but you have to suck it out.

Yoda: The fuck who do you think I am, Anakin?

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I don't know about you but I have never advocated that homosexuals, for any reason, be cut out of their mother's womb and thrown into a bin.
- Deucaon toes a hard line on gay fetus rights.
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#2 User is offline   Zatoichi Icon

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Posted 15 September 2005 - 04:51 PM

QUOTE (J m HofMarN @ Sep 14 2005, 11:44 PM)
Palpatine: A wise decision. Now, I must also tell you that the key to the power of the light side of the force lies in my penis, but you have to suck it out.

Yoda: The fuck who do you think I am, Anakin?


That brought tears to my eyes, laughter of course. I'm in the damn library. Curse you and your humorous ways!
Apparently writing about JM here is his secret weakness. Muwahaha!!!! Now I have leverage over him and am another step closer towards my goal of world domination.

"And the Evil that was vanquished shall rise anew. Wrapped in the guise of man shall he walk amongst the innocent and Terror shall consume they that dwell upon the Earth. The skies will rain fire. The seas shall become as blood. The righteous shall fall before the wicked! And all creation shall tremble before the burning standards of Hell!" - Mephisto

Kurgan X showed me this web comic done with Legos. It pokes fun at all six Star Wars films and I found it to be extremely entertaining.
<a href="http://www.irregularwebcomic.net/cast/starwars.html" target="_blank">http://www.irregularwebcomic.net/cast/starwars.html</a>
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#3 User is offline   StarWarsIsUs Icon

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Posted 15 September 2005 - 04:55 PM

*falls on the floor laughing and wets his pants*

Jeeeeeezush. That is unnatural humor; so funny it is unreal!!!
SecretShadow (SuperShadow's main adversary)

Endor Holocaust
FIND OUT THE TRUTH
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#4 User is offline   J m HofMarN Icon

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Posted 15 September 2005 - 09:20 PM

The dark side is the path to many kinds of humor that are considered... unnatural.

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I don't know about you but I have never advocated that homosexuals, for any reason, be cut out of their mother's womb and thrown into a bin.
- Deucaon toes a hard line on gay fetus rights.
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#5 User is offline   floppydisk Icon

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Posted 16 September 2005 - 02:14 PM

And all of them are experimented with on Jelly Pufflemur.

That should be an update, it was so funny. Plus, you know how hardly any of the JPL crowd frequent the Star Wars forum.
QUOTE (Theodor Herzl)
If you will it, it is no dream.
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#6 User is offline   J m HofMarN Icon

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Posted 17 September 2005 - 02:05 AM

Hmmm not a bad idea. Maybe we can do a Star Wars theme week, I'll see if I can't get Nate to do a cameo. If not I'll release the pictures of him and that underage dolphin.

Quote

I don't know about you but I have never advocated that homosexuals, for any reason, be cut out of their mother's womb and thrown into a bin.
- Deucaon toes a hard line on gay fetus rights.
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#7 User is offline   Otal Nimrodi Icon

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Posted 17 September 2005 - 08:26 AM

Would SW week include the the Lazer Storm?

Edit: No, I was supposed to use the question mark, not the exclamation point.

This post has been edited by Otal Nimrodi: 17 September 2005 - 08:27 AM

Want a Tarot reading?

PM me, we'll talk.
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#8 User is offline   J m HofMarN Icon

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Posted 17 September 2005 - 01:10 PM

Lazer Squad? Why yes. You could send letters to crazy arsed Christians telling them how bad ass starwars is, for no damn reason.

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I don't know about you but I have never advocated that homosexuals, for any reason, be cut out of their mother's womb and thrown into a bin.
- Deucaon toes a hard line on gay fetus rights.
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#9 User is offline   miladyblue Icon

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Posted 15 June 2006 - 01:16 PM

Maybe the rule came up that "Jedi cannot love" because George finally sobered up two hours before the premiere of AotC, and realized that he could not write romantic dialogue or scenes worth shit!
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#10 User is offline   Jedi_1138 Icon

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Posted 15 June 2006 - 03:31 PM

Wish that was true, myladyblue...
Unfortunately for all of us, he tried it again in RotS!
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#11 User is offline   mireaux7 Icon

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Posted 29 September 2006 - 10:42 PM

I know this a bit off the subject, but was curious if anyone else ever wonders what George Lucas does in his freetime.

Well,.imagine if you will,..its dinnertime, and after seeing that his cupboards and fridge are void of any rations, George Lucas has decided to boldly venture out of the Skywalker Ranch into town to grab some fast food. Our story unfolds as Georgie is driving up in his, shall we dare say, Lambourghini Diablo?, and has pulled up to the drive thru of his local McDonalds:........

(after midly sweeping some floors in the dining area of McDonalds,.a teenage employee looks out the large windows of the dining area and notices the all too familiar ride that Lucas sports,..its unmistakeable as Lucas blasts the Vader theme loudly from his Bose stereo)

Floor sweeping Employee: "hey everyone,..ITS HIM!,..ITS HIM!!...Mr. STAR WARS Nerd,..he just rolled into the drive thru,..he is back again in his lambourghini!!!!!!!!!"

McDonalds Manager: "Are you serious??"

the rest of the employees engage in hysterical howling laughter that fills the kitchen as they eagerly anticipate their victim.

Employee #2: "Shush,.shhhhh,..shut-up everyone!!!!!!...he thinks we are under NEW MANAGEMENT now!!!.., since his LAST TIME he was here,.lets make him think that all the old employees that taunted him last time are all fired and gone forever now"

Floor sweeping employee: "okay,..(chuckles) ..Okay,..whatever....

Drive thru employee makes some quick adjustments to his drive-thru headset as he readies himself to answer the intercom system.

Drive-thru employee: (mimicking the voice of C3PO in an intended cheap imitation) "Welcome to McDonalds sir, what can I DO YOU for?"

Lucas: (who pretends not to notice) "uhhh,..yes,.Id like the quarter pounder combo with a coke, and 2 apple pies, and a hot fudge sundae"

drive-thru employee: (now responding, and mimicking Yoda) "A quarter of a pound, have,..you will?...what is this coke that a Jedi requested?...and not a SINGLE pie laden with fruit filling,.but TWO,.you must have?..why is this so?..why must your faith in the force be strong in this food made of junk, and not within your mind as a Jedi warrior,..I ask of you,..not to mention, a sundae, with fudge,.that is hot? quite an assortment we have here!"

Lucas (responds with a tormented sigh)...."Look,.I know youre an avid fan, and thats great and all,.but Id really like to get my food and get going"

drive thru employee (now responding as Darth Vader) "I HAVE YOU NOW!..and likewise you are here because I HAVE SUMMONED YOU!!. The aroma of this greasy food was all part of my master design,..MY ENTRAPMENT TO LURE YOU HERE,..to have you turn to the dark side of the force....YOU MUST COME IN AND FILL OUT A JOB APPLICATION!!!...ONLY THEN WILL YOUR JOURNEY TO THE DARK SIDE BE COMPLETE"

(another employee grabs the drive thru headset and briefly mimics an R2-D2 beep, whistle and twitter before returning the headset back to the drive-thru employee)

Lucas:(very angry and very hostile).."THIS IS BULL@$#^&!!....LET ME SPEAK TO YOUR SUPERVISOR NOW!!!"

drive thru employee: (now imitating the Emperor)..."Yessss,..Yess!!!,..it is I,..the master of your destiny...i CAN FEEEEELLL,..THE ANGER,..growing inside of you,...take your weapon,.strike me down inside of here,..I am unarmed,..with each passing moment I am making you more my servant!!!!!!!! (emits a palpatine style cackle and laughter)

Lucas: (extremely pissed at this point) Damn it!!,..Im coming inside there right now,..this is Bantha Fodder!...I cant believe this is happening!!!!!

Lucas quickly parks his Lambourghini, slams the door and rushes inside of McDonalds.

No sooner does Lucas approach the glass door, does every employee don on a Storm Trooper helmet and the Manager dons a Vader helmet.

Lucas: "WHO THE F*** IS IN CHARGE HERE???"

Manager wearing the Darth Vader helmet: "I AM!"

The manager quickly removes a tazer gun at her side and imitates the emperor using force lightning as she stuns and paralyzes Lucas.

The drive thru employee approaches Lucas, takes off his Storm Trooper helmet and exchanges it for an Emperor mask.

Drive-Thru employee: (again imitating Palpatine) "Yeeeessssss,...Yessss...Gooooood...Like your father before you,..you too will soon become one with the dark side of the force,..the McDonalds force,.that is.

Another employee joins him and reaches for Lucas' wallet to retreive his driver's license and social security card.

Drive thru employee:(imitating Palpatine) "get me an application"

The other employee fills out the application, being that the stricken Lucas is somewhat too paralyzed to complete it. He references Lucas' ID and SSN accordingly to complete all necessary info on the job application.

Drive thru employee (imitating Palpatine) "Now,..my boy,.your journey to the dark side is almost complete,...SIGN THE APPLICATION!...and you will have fulfilled your destiny and complete your journey to the dark side of the force.

Lucas: "I AM NOT SIGNING THAT DAMN APPLICATION!!!!!!"

Manager, still wearing the Vader mask approaches Lucas, and mimicks Vader's vocals: "Take him to the deep fat fryer,....he will join us,..or die!!!"

Lucas: NOOOOOOOO!!....Ok,..Ok,..Ill sign that damn application,...give it to me"

Lucas angrily grabs the pen and writes in a half-assed signature on the line, thinking nothing of it as he prepares to exit the door.

Drive-thru employee mimicking Palpatine: "It is complete...henceforth,.you shall be known as...(insert classic long pause here as Palpatine flips thru his pocketbook to see what SITH names have already been used)...."Darth Maul?,..no..damn,..thats been used already...Darth Bastard?..no,..hmmm....I know,..how about,..'Darth Fryus"

Lucas looks about the room in puzzlement and catches the reflection of his own eyes in the Vader helmet being worn by the manager,..he now has SITH EYES!

*** 45 minutes later, the subconscious SITH-stricken Lucas has been taking numerous drive thru orders via the headset he now wears, unbeknownest to him, that he was formerly George Lucas and is now Darth Fryus. He is even unaware that his cell phone has been ringing constantly for the past 30 minutes. *****

Rick McCallum: "Damn..where is he?,.its not like him to not answer his phone!"







yell.gif
QUOTE (njamilla @ Feb 23 2008, 08:16 AM)
Shit, Fuck, Piss: I had to say that because I can on this website. (Thanks Chef!)

QUOTE (chefelf @ Feb 23 2008, 10:30 AM)
That's what I'm here for.
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#12 User is offline   Infernus Icon

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Posted 24 May 2007 - 03:58 PM

I remember being really suprised about the no attachment rule when it was first revealed in one of the Episode II teasers back in 2002.

I never imagined that would have been part of the story. Kind of like the reaction I had about midi-chlorians in Episaode I, only I took that a little better.
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#13 User is offline   TruJade Icon

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Posted 25 May 2007 - 01:31 PM

Why were you surprised?
It makes total and complete sense.
Especially Because of Episode I

The Jedi live their lives possessionless.
Padawans, Masters, lightsabers, clothes
all these things canbe replaced and to

many hang-ups cause complications.
Oh and the midi-chlorians rolleyes.gif
riiiight

Duct tape is like the force....

There's a lightside, a darkside

and it holds everything together


There are too many people in the world...We need another plague -Dwight K. Shrute [The Office]
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#14 User is offline   Infernus Icon

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Posted 25 May 2007 - 01:45 PM

Sure there may have been the implication their dedication to the Order forbade things like marriage, but it was still a suprise to me that there was an actual rule forbidding it and any other emotional attchments. It might have made perfect snese to you, but that does not mean everyone took that from what they saw in Episode I.
Itr would seem your reaction to midi-chlorians is the same as mine is to the no attachment rule. So we are at a stalemate it would appear.
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#15 User is offline   Infernus Icon

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Posted 25 May 2007 - 04:27 PM

And to the Mod currently reading this
don''t even try to come down on me and berate me. I am an old hand at this even if I am new from your point of view.
as long as you understand nothing is meant personal we will get along just fine.
or if you must you can always ban me. I am so old now banning doesn't quite have the same threat it once did.
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