Chefelf.com Night Life: "No, I don't have two cents!" - Chefelf.com Night Life

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"No, I don't have two cents!" Tuesday, August 30, 2005

#1 User is offline   Chefelf Icon

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Posted 30 August 2005 - 04:40 PM

Dear cashiers everywhere,

I don't have two cents. You told me the total comes to $11.02. I gave you $12.00. Then you decided that I was probably holding out on some delightful pennies and said, "You don't have two cents?" No, I don't. That's why I gave you $12.00.

I understand that change is precious to you but I have already calculated in my head the way in which I choose to spend my money in the course of this transaction. Either I don't have the change to spare or I am actually looking forward to getting those sweet quarters for use in doing my laundry and some dimes and nickels for purchasing coffees with exact change. In either case, I am not giving you the two pennies.

If you are running low on change I'd recommend contacting your immediate supervisor or manager. Your store may even have some sort of relationship with a bank that can provide currency in such form.

Thank you for your time.

Sincerely,
Chefelf
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#2 User is offline   civilian_number_two Icon

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Posted 30 August 2005 - 06:46 PM

They'd actually give you $1.98 in change? Man, Vancouver must be a shopper's paradise. Cashiers here just ignore pennies. They have a little cup at the counter for people to dump their useless change into, and they round lousy totals to the nearest useful coin. At the end of the night their tills are off by twenty cents to a dollar; they shrug, and move on.
"I had a lot of different ideas. At one point, Luke, Leia and Ben were all going to be little people, and we did screen tests to see if we could do that." -George Lucas, in STAR WARS: the Annotated Screenplays (p197).
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Posted 30 August 2005 - 07:43 PM

On a more serious note. A few years ago there was a show which showed how the everyday person can accumulate wealth. There was one couple who had amassed a tidy sum of about $35,000 over about a 20 year period. The way they did it was to never use change. If something was $11.02, they gave the cashier $12.00 and when they got home they threw the change in a jar. Over the years the nickels and dimes grew into a tidy little sum. This cashier was trying to curtail your plans for untold riches.
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Posted 30 August 2005 - 09:42 PM

$35,000 in change?

that must have been one massive jar!!!
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#5 User is offline   Chefelf Icon

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Posted 31 August 2005 - 07:43 AM

I wish I'd have known this twenty years ago. I'd be living the good life right now. cool.gif
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#6 User is offline   Jordan Icon

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Posted 31 August 2005 - 10:53 AM

It's a lot easier and quicker for me too give back 2 bucks than 1.98. Only stores like STAPLES, FUTURE SHOP, and WALMART give you EXACT change. I usually alway round up to the nearest 5. so if it's 0.72 cents change, then you get 75 (three quaters, simple).

You might think we're losing money but really we're not. Most people pay on debut cards and I charge exact amounts on those of course. My store loses more money on me eating the products than me giving away a free few pennies here and there.

I'd also like to point on one other annoying thing casheirs at major commerical stores do. They hand you the bills first, then put the change on top of the bills, so the coins just slide off the bills, and to avoid this you need to use two hands and carefully spill the change over to your palm.

I never do this. I always give coins first, then bills.

This post has been edited by Jordan: 31 August 2005 - 10:55 AM

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#7 User is offline   Chefelf Icon

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Posted 31 August 2005 - 02:03 PM

Okay, is this some sort of weird Canadian thing? If so, it's INSANE! How do they keep track of accounting?
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Posted 31 August 2005 - 02:26 PM

"The custom, err, is always right."

Once I heard it's bad policy to put money on the counter: instead make it easy and hand it to the person.

When wrapping up business on the phone with someone who says "Anything else?" I like to say "I hope you have a good day."
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Posted 31 August 2005 - 06:35 PM

whenever someone says "can i help you with anything else, today?" on the phone i usually say something along the lines of "well, if you wouldn't mind comming over and filling in for me while i take the rest of the day of and go to the beach..."

or some other manner of worker-grade wit...
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Posted 31 August 2005 - 07:29 PM

that's right. And at the drive-thru: "anything else?" "to go."
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Posted 01 September 2005 - 02:40 AM

Well, if we're talking about phone ethics now, before I put down the phone on someone at work (quite a frequent occurance, I'm a telemarketer sick.gif), I always try and say "Sorry to bother you" or "Thanks for your time", and "Have a nice day". I mean, you're phoning them up, and hassling them to get double glazing, it seems madness not to try and end it on a polite note...
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Posted 01 September 2005 - 07:58 AM

especially if they've already eaten the dooughnut...

(i make mince meat out of your knid on a regular basis, chyld.)
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Posted 01 September 2005 - 08:24 AM

For some reason I have an irrational loathing of the phrase "Well, maybe you can help me".

"Well maybe I can't. Maybe I can but I don't want to. Maybe I'd rather take this phone and shove it up your fat, wrinkled, probably richer than me, time-wasting ass."

Possibly why I didn't last on the Samaritans.
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Posted 01 September 2005 - 03:15 PM

QUOTE (Chefelf @ Aug 31 2005, 02:03 PM)
Okay, is this some sort of weird Canadian thing?  If so, it's INSANE!  How do they keep track of accounting?

Option A. Prices are not fixed in stone. You take the money spent on stuff, and put that in one column, and then the money collected, in another column. The spreadsheet is designed to reverse-calculate the tax collected, and voila! The book = balanced. Any spill derived from miscounted change is ignored by the magic or arithmetic.

Option B. You have a cup at the counter that says "Take a penny, leave a penny." When you are giving out mundane change like $0.02," many customers will simply drop the pennies into the cup. When you need a penny to balance the till, you don't bother to ask the customer to grab one or to grab one yourself; you do that at the end of the day.

Option C. You create a +/- column on your spreadsheet to account for the amount gained or lost by accidental or intentional miscounting. At the end of a year, you're off by about $100.00, but it's not really "lost" since you counted it, and it is accounted in the same way that you do for shrinkage from damage, loss, waste, and shoplifting, depending on the kind of business you run. You look at the number and you say "meh."
"I had a lot of different ideas. At one point, Luke, Leia and Ben were all going to be little people, and we did screen tests to see if we could do that." -George Lucas, in STAR WARS: the Annotated Screenplays (p197).
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#15 User is offline   Jordan Icon

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Posted 02 September 2005 - 04:11 AM

We have a penny cup. The amount of pennies we loose probably tallys around 100 a day, so it's a buck lost if we don't dip into the pennycup. Many customers drop us free pennies because they don't want them. But if they're short a few cents on something, or if they don't want a pile of change back, we give them a break.

Option C of Civillians list would be over kill for our store. I could see a bigger chain place doing that. My boss (owner too) does not even count the pennies, he told me not to bother count either during cash out. lol

He loses more money to me eating store products.

This post has been edited by Jordan: 02 September 2005 - 04:12 AM

Oh SMEG. What the smeggity smegs has smeggins done? He smeggin killed me. - Lister of Smeg, space bum
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