Chefelf.com Night Life: You Could Have a Steam Train... - Chefelf.com Night Life

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You Could Have a Steam Train... Wednesday, August 10, 2005

#1 Chefelf

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Posted 10 August 2005 - 04:20 PM

You're not fooling me, Mr. Man at the Subway Station. I feel a twinge on my temple as you walk past me, aware, too late, of what my fate could have been.

You stride so confidently, as if there is nothing out of the ordinary. It's as if you expect me to believe that you have business or license to be doing what you're doing.

I scan your apparel. You have no uniform. You bear no logos of authority.

You are doing your best to appear that you belong, to appear that you are just strolling normally down the subway platform, nothing amiss.

So why are you brandishing that gigantic sledgehammer?!

I am glad when you get on the E train. I am waiting for the A.

#2 Mnesymone

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Posted 11 August 2005 - 12:00 AM

The Secret Subway Station Sledgehammer Squad - for all your undercover repair needs.

Either that or something else.

#3 srmoore

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Posted 11 August 2005 - 11:13 AM

Whenever I use the subway in NYC, I take my trusty sledgehammer.

Because you never know if you'll need it there.

#4 Dorothy

We supply it, we demand you eat it.

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Posted 11 August 2005 - 11:40 AM

We don't have subways in MT, but if we did, I would take a sledgehammer.

"The problem is, you're not a kangaroo... that's a bear... and he's in your pants."
"Maybe artists shouldn't talk about their art."
"Well kids, I guess your father isn't a hermaphrodite."
"Izzy! enough with the rabid smootching!!"

#5 Jordan

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Posted 11 August 2005 - 05:10 PM

Was that poetry?

Oh SMEG. What the smeggity smegs has smeggins done? He smeggin killed me. - Lister of Smeg, space bum

#6 Chefelf

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Posted 11 August 2005 - 05:30 PM

Hmmm. No. I see what you mean, though. Very short paragraphs.

#7 Chefelf

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Posted 11 August 2005 - 05:31 PM

You're not fooling me,
Mr. Man at the Subway Station.
I feel a twinge on my temple as you walk past me,
aware, too late, of what my fate could have been.

You stride so confidently,
as if there is nothing out of the ordinary.
It's as if you expect me to believe
that you have business or license to be doing what you're doing.

I scan your apparel. You have no uniform.
You bear no logos of authority.

You are doing your best to appear that you belong,
to appear that you are just strolling normally down the subway platform,
nothing amiss.

So why are you brandishing that gigantic sledgehammer?!

I am glad when you get on the E train. I am waiting for the A.

How's that?

#8 Ninja Duck

Cheer up, emo duck.

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Posted 11 August 2005 - 10:08 PM

Dear Chefelf,

Thank you for your submission of "You Could Have a Steam Train..." to us.

This work does not currently fit our requirements. Please do not take this a setback to all your hard work as a writer. We are sure you will find a publisher to fit your needs.

Also, we recall a very similar submission sent to us a few days ago.

We wish you the best of luck.

Sincerely,
Acquisitions Department

#9 Jordan

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Posted 12 August 2005 - 06:17 AM

It now definately reads as poetry!

Oh SMEG. What the smeggity smegs has smeggins done? He smeggin killed me. - Lister of Smeg, space bum

#10 Lefty

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Posted 15 August 2005 - 11:07 AM

Now you're seeing pro wrestlers! Is there no limit to the celebrity-spotting you crazy newyorkers do?

(& why are the rest of us supposed to believe that that makes up for the people screaming obscenities on the streets? If you average out the per-capita classy, we're still probably ahead...)

#11 kdogg

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Posted 16 August 2005 - 09:51 AM

QUOTE (Chefelf @ Aug 10 2005, 05:20 PM)

So why are you brandishing that gigantic sledgehammer?!

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Is it this guy by any chance? If so, watch out when he jumps cuz the ground will shake and you'll be stunned for a couple of seconds. I recommend eating a mushroom before you go to this particular subway station again. Just my 2 cents.