[Chefelf]

Police: Man's Testicles Locked In Padlock
Man Could Not Remove Lock For Two Weeks

POSTED: 3:39 pm EDT August 5, 2005

BRENTWOOD, N.H. -- Emergency workers helped a Brentwood man out of a difficult situation over the weekend after a friend apparently locked a padlock around his testicles.

According to the Portsmouth Herald, police reported that the 39-year-old man was intoxicated when they arrived at the scene on July 30 at about 3:40 a.m. The man, who was not identified, told them that he had the padlock around his testicles for two weeks.

The man said that a friend put the lock on while he was drunk and passed out. When he woke up, the friend was gone.

"Never in my 13 years have I seen anything like this," Cpl. H.D. Wood told the Herald.

The man told police that he tried to remove the lock with a hacksaw because the key had broken off in the lock.

He was taken to Exeter Hospital, where a locksmith removed the padlock. He was treated and released, and the hospital said he had no lasting injury.

Police said that they did not know the motive for the incident.

http://www.thewmurch...733/detail.html

This one comes to me from my godmother, Pat. This didn't happen too far from where she lives.

They don't really prepare you for this in locksmith school.

[Kirby]

The man told police that he tried to remove the lock with a hacksaw because the key had broken off in the lock.

Owch!

If it ever came to that, I would just let them keep the lock on my junk.

[J m HofMarN]

When he goes into work the next morning he will say: "Man have I ever had a bad two weeks!" And it will be true. Then he'll get drunk and Anne Rice will shove a candle stick up his ass.

[Jordan]

Perhaps removing this mans testicles would be a good thing.

[WalkingCarpet]

No matter how humilliating it'd be, the hospital option would always be favourable to the hacksaw option!

[floppydisk]

Would've made a great bondage thing.

[Chefelf]

No matter how humilliating it'd be, the hospital option would always be favourable to the hacksaw option!

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

We can agree to disagree on that point.

[Coco]

Watching this man walk must have been very funny.

[Rhubarb]

Police said that they did not know the motive for the incident.

Classic.

[Dorothy]

Man, this guy needs to get some new "friends"

[Chyld]

I'm praying to gods that my mates at uni never see this, or I'm probably in great danger of testicle-locking...

[Laughlyn]

You need to get yourself some better friends mate.

[J m HofMarN]

Hmm this sounds like poll material. I'm with Chefelf here. I'd go with the hacksaw option.

[Mnesymone]

There is no way I would try and hacksaw down there... there are risks.
I would have expected that a short dip in some really cold water would have done the trick - but failing a shrinkage solution, I'd go with the hospital. Damn testicular padlocks.

Is the locksmith going to take a testimonial as part of advertising his shop - something like "When I had a padlock wrapped around my nadgers, I turned to Ironsides Professional Locksmith, for all your tricky jobs"

[Kirby]

If I saw that in a commercial, I would lock my keys in my car on porpous .