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One Nation Under Chicken Fries Thursday, July 28, 2005

#1 User is offline   Chefelf Icon

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Posted 28 July 2005 - 10:48 AM

I had a dream the other night. In this dream I was innocently watching Law & Order: SVU when suddenly I was interrupted with a commercial break. In this commercial I experienced a whirlwind of sounds and visuals very similar to what Charlie endures in that weird boating cave in Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory. While I didn't see a chicken getting its head cut off I did witness a series of things that flip-flopped between the fantastic and the disturbing.

Firstly, this commercial was for Burger King and in it they were highlighting a new product that they called, "Chicken Fries." These were long strips of chicken breast that were formed into the shape of fries, battered or breaded and then fried and served in the traditional cardboard receptacle that normal French fries are served in.

Secondly, and this is how I know I was dreaming, the ridiculous friend chicken strips were spinning around wildly accompanied by a heavy metal guitar riff. Just at the end of the commercial a banshee-like vocal screamed, "One nation under chicken fries!"

Then I woke up. It was all a dream. A weird, puzzling, frightening dream.

Or was it?
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#2 User is offline   scubasteve4lyfe Icon

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Posted 28 July 2005 - 01:12 PM

They're "like M&M's"? The CEO of Burger King said that?

Well, see, the man's obviously retarded. I can't see this succeeding as the snack food of the summer. I just don't see myself walking down the street with friends, gnawing on soggy chicken fries and humming that ridiculous song.
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Posted 28 July 2005 - 03:59 PM

Now that is.... Gross. I can not compare tM&Ms to Chicken fries. And chicken in the shape of a fry? I don't usually say this, but Ewww!
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#4 User is offline   floppydisk Icon

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Posted 28 July 2005 - 05:26 PM

We had some, and they were okay. Not as good as BK's nuggets, but they're not the worst chicken I've eatan, and I eat a LOT of chicken.

And that commercial is scary...
QUOTE (Theodor Herzl)
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#5 User is offline   Kirby Icon

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Posted 28 July 2005 - 08:26 PM

QUOTE (BK CEO)
"For me, they're like M&Ms,"


Do they melt in your mouth and not in your hand? blink.gif

Do they come in various colors and hard outer coatings? blink.gif

Do they have the words CF printed on the side of the fry? blink.gif

Are their mascots giant talking versions of the food stuff? blink.gif

I must know in what way they are like M&Ms, my brain can't handle that a CEO of a major company can be so retarded. There must be an explaination!

This post has been edited by Kirby: 28 July 2005 - 08:32 PM

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Posted 28 July 2005 - 08:55 PM

Obviously, Chef, what you have here is like the thing in Futurama - not only are they protoyping chicken fries, they are also prototyping a new form of subliminal messaging - a complex neurological code inserted in a series of flashes in programs such as Law and Order: SVU, which the viewer does not register while watching. Then, at some point in REM, the code, latent in the viewer's memory, is activated, and thusly the ad comes to you in your sleep.
However the third twist here is that there is obviously a really stupid advertising guy who thought "one nation under chicken fries" was a good marketing gimmick, probably from the old U.S. saw of one nation under god - to try and strike the heart of the patriotic burger king eater.
Obviously the incoherence of the images stems from the fact that they haven't ironed out all the bugs from their system of dream advertising.

And I think I know what the man meant with the M&M reference - he meant that they would be sold as a confectionery/snack rather than a meal... however why he didn't say "this will probably be more of a snack than a meal" is beyond me because anyone attempting to link chicken and chocolate is probably stupid or masochistic.
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#7 User is offline   Despondent Icon

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Posted 28 July 2005 - 09:08 PM

I think he meant that it would be handy to eat, like Mnesymone said. But it's also something entirely new, like m&m's were once anyway. tongue.gif

I'm sure I can be corrected on this, but I understood that M&M's were invented so that G.I.s could eat chocolate without creating slippery trigger fingers. (Melts in your mouth, not in your hand.)

Heck, I'll profess the M and M come from Melt in Mouth, while I'm at it. The chicken fries are just as portable. But they don't come in snack machines, do they?

while on the portability issue, I'll recommend the taco place Crunch wrap. Haven't tried to eat it in the car yet, but it's tasty, filling, and it costs as much as the 5 or 6 "fries" BK is offering.


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#8 User is offline   floppydisk Icon

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Posted 28 July 2005 - 10:36 PM

I heard they were invented because in the Japan campaign, the GI's wanted chocolate that wouldn't melt by the time it got to them (because it melted in the hot jungle, see?).
QUOTE (Theodor Herzl)
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Posted 29 July 2005 - 05:19 AM

The only problem I see here is that it's Burger King, second to McDonald's on my list of "Don't Ever Eat This Trash, Seriously" restaurants.
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Posted 29 July 2005 - 08:32 AM

yet another greasy, disgusting, diarrhea inducing reason i never eat at this establishment. sad.gif
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Posted 30 July 2005 - 08:06 PM

QUOTE (Heccubus @ Jul 29 2005, 05:19 AM)
The only problem I see here is that it's Burger King, second to McDonald's on my list of "Don't Ever Eat This Trash, Seriously" restaurants.

one of my tennis coach's mnemomic devices was to learn the forehand swing by remembering
(racquet low) "McDonalds", (racquet high) "Wendy's".

I nearly laughed out loud.


Just got to a chicken place already, if you want chicken.
(Here in barbeque country,) I can't remember the last time I got a "McRib".
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Posted 03 August 2005 - 11:37 PM

I'm a sucker for funny commercials & BK, so I love the new ad. There is even a website with a full video and 4 tracks. It's CoqRoq.com
When I first saw the ad and heard the music I was wondering if NIN had written it. biggrin.gif
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Posted 04 August 2005 - 10:52 PM

Wow, this reminds me why I don't watch TV...

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Posted 05 August 2005 - 08:29 AM

When comparing them to m&m's, I assumed he meant that they'd keep selling them regardless of the fact that nobody seems to eat them.
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Posted 08 August 2005 - 09:16 AM

Burger King food gives me indigestion, and painful bowel movements.

It's POISON.
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