I hate call centers. not only do I have the painful memories of working at them,but it seems now that i am eternally marred by having occasional nightmares of working at them. such was the case of last night's nightmare.
The nightmare:
I am employed at America Online (which I actually used to work at & loathe). I am fairly new to the company, maybe under 6 months. I come in for work one morning and make my way to my desk/station.
Before I continue telling of this nightmare, it should be worth mentioning that this nightmare is cast in a rather eery, yet comical tone. As if every little tidbit scenario about it has some sort of dark parodic value to it.
So, I am going thru the revolving doors after swiping my badge, having the laser read my fingerprint, scan my retina, & take a urine & blood sample to prove who i am (no! this didnt really happen at work, but this is a fine example of that dark comical tone this nightmare has all throughout)
As i make my way thru the building, which has an overmodulated amplifier p.a. system that sounds ala an International Airport and less like a small office. It seems to be directing employees to their assigned stations like they were herded cattle and less like they are in fact diligent employees.
There are huge hanging illuminated signs indicating reference points such as "restrooms", "breakroom", "stations", etc.
(like i say, the call center is set up more like an huge airport and less like a call center. The employees coming into work look more like jet-lagged soul-less zombies, and nothing like refreshed enthusiastic employees.)
As I proceed to my assigned station, and attempt to log in, i realize that my password isnt working. I am constantly being hounded by the daily automated voice from my computer station which reminds me that "YOU HAVE 5 MINUTES TO LOG-IN AND TAKE A CALL" "YOU HAVE 4 MINUTES AND 58 SECONDS TO LOG-IN AND TAKE A CALL" " YOU HAVE 4 MINUTES AND 56 SECONDS TO LOG-IN AND TAKE A CALL"...(you get the idea).
realizing my time is running short, i flag down a manager, and the manager i flag down isnt necessarily my immediate boss, but a rather friendly older lady that seems senile in her daily duties (like everything about this evil corporation is fine and dandy).
she smiles at me and as im desperately trying to explain to her that my time is running low, and that i am having trouble trying to log in, she cuts me off and asks me for my first and last name. over the course of what seems like 10 minutes...she repeatedly types my name wrong into her computer as she is trying to identify the reason for why i am not able to log-in.
at one point she even asks for my middle name and street address...wtf does that have to do with anything?.. i ask myself.
she finally gives up on typing my name, and allows me to sit in her chair. as i do i am continued to be annoyed by the "Star Trek anthem" that has been blaring from her computer's speakers for the past ten or so minutes. (im not a trekkie, im a jedi). But even as i type in my name to try to search her "master system" to see why employee number 163729010018102 (me!!!) cant log in, i eventually learn that the reason i cant log-in is because of restriction number: #27381-FJH.
(which to decipher what this restriction means, it of course requires the attention of a higher supervisor, which seemed to be standing right behind both of us as soon as the restriction number popped up)
I am soon whisked away down a labyrinth of office hallways, up several flights of stairs, and seated in a huge leather chair that is undoubtedly paid for out of my hard earned paycheck.
me and the star-trek supervisor lady, along with the higher-up manager that summoned us to this office soon find ourselves in front of "THE MAN", along with several of his refined colleagues who know absolutely nothing about working in a call center, but was given their high-income occupational positions on the sole merits of their academic credentials (college degrees, etc)
it doesnt take them long to decipher the strange restriction code as meaning that i "refused to take a call", meaning i either hung up on a customer, or i just simply didnt do everything in my power to make their valued customer 100% happy.
as i sit nervously inside this huge office, i am surrounded by those generic hanging pictures that say things like "inspiration" "achivement" dedication", and usually has some silly backdrop like a sunset, ocean or golfcourse.
these pics are accompanied with enlarged, poster-sized photographs of actual call-center employees that the company feels are their shining stars, and features them with unrealistic over-sized smiles on their faces holding up huge cardboard checks that are for measily reward amounts...such as $15.86, etc.
like the employee should be greatful that the evil company gives them any money outside of their underpaid paycheck allows them.
i am sitting there in this chair, chewing on the eraser of my pencil like its bazooka joe bubblegum, as i await the results of this much deliberated outcome of what to do with me?
do i still have a job?, i dont know. i feel more like a convicted mass murderer on trial awaiting the outcome of the jury, than an unsuspecting employee at a call center who may have hung up on a customer.
the results are soon in, as the managerial jury has reached their much deliberated verdict..they find me guilty in hanging up on a customer. i am soon asked to forfiet my badge, my headphones, and all the silly items that this company has ever given me,..such as koozies, bookbags, t-shirts, pencil toppers, mouse pads, cd wallets, cup holders, writing tablets, and Nerf footballs.
it isnt before long that i wake up..thank goodness,,,right?
This post has been edited by mireaux7: 02 January 2008 - 03:09 PM
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