Posted 28 November 2006 - 10:54 PM
I had a dream someone murdered my sister. I don't have a sister. But then it turned out he was really really sorry, so that was all right then, and we went waterskiing together. Or were going to, before the president of my school's Nerdly Games club started chasing me with an axe. At that point, the house I was running around in changed into my school, without undergoing any actual alterations. So I ran into my English classroom hoping the teacher would save me (if you knew him, you would be able to grasp just how hilarious that misconception was*). He just laughed, though. But Bruce (the person chasing me) got bored, so that was okay.
*No, seriously. If you've ever read Monstrous Regiment, he is almost EXACTLY like Lieutenant Blouse. The resemblance is kind of scary. Plus he smiles by stretching the corners of his mouth to the side and down and raising his eyebrows, speaks in a really quiet, calm voice that really should count as a whisper, and has been voted "Most Likely To Secretly Be A Serial Killer" by three years of students in a row. Unofficially, of course.
"YOU'RE MISSING A PERIOD. YOU THINK IT'S FUNNY, DON'T YOU? YOU THINK IT'S FUNNY THAT YOU FUCK WITH GRAMMAR? WELL, FUCK YOU AND FUCK YOUR MISSING PERIOD! I HOPE IT MEANS YOUR SLUTTY, NON-PUNCTUATED WAYS HAVE GOTTEN YOU TEEN-PREGNANT!"