So yeah, there were plenty of opportunities throughout the film where Anakin needed someone to bitchslap him. This scene could have fixed everything:
Palpatine: You know, I'm not saying your thoughts betray you or anything, but I know if *I* had a girl like Padme I'd kill a lot of little kids for her.
Anakin: You're right, the only way to prove my love for Padme is to slaughter some kids.
Qui Gon: No Anakin, don't be a smacktard! -force slap-
I guess Anakin's conscience was off chilling with Jiminy Cricket at the time.
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No Anakin! Why didn't Qui Gon go upside his head?
#3
Posted 15 July 2005 - 01:03 PM
QUOTE (J m HofMarN @ Jul 15 2005, 05:11 PM)
So yeah, there were plenty of opportunities throughout the film where Anakin needed someone to bitchslap him. This scene could have fixed everything:
Palpatine: You know, I'm not saying your thoughts betray you or anything, but I know if *I* had a girl like Padme I'd kill a lot of little kids for her.
Anakin: You're right, the only way to prove my love for Padme is to slaughter some kids.
Qui Gon: No Anakin, don't be a smacktard! -force slap-
I guess Anakin's conscience was off chilling with Jiminy Cricket at the time.
Palpatine: You know, I'm not saying your thoughts betray you or anything, but I know if *I* had a girl like Padme I'd kill a lot of little kids for her.
Anakin: You're right, the only way to prove my love for Padme is to slaughter some kids.
Qui Gon: No Anakin, don't be a smacktard! -force slap-
I guess Anakin's conscience was off chilling with Jiminy Cricket at the time.
This is the Qui Gon who waited until Anakin was just about to kill those Tusken Raiders in ATOC to tell him not to do it. This is the Qui Gon who waited for ALL of the Jedi to be slaughtered bar Yoda and Obi-Wan to then whisper in Yoda's ear that he knows of a way that Yoda can live for ever in the force. God forbid he should have been a useful Jedi Ghostie and tipped Obi-Wan off about Anakin murdering those women and children Tuskin Raiders, or about Anakin's marriage, or about Anakin flirting with turning to the darkside because of wanting to save his pregnant wife from dying, etc, etc. No, Qui-Gon was the naval gazing, looking away while all the action was going on, dead Jedi that he was when he was still alive. Qui-Gon's the smacktard, force or bitch slap him!
#5
Posted 16 July 2005 - 12:00 PM
It didn't need to be Qui Gon. It really could have been anyone. Palpatine's plan hinged on Anakin not having any sense at all. I like to imagine the scene with the sassy black person from a Jerry Bruckheimer film:
Anakin: Yes Palpatine, I trust you even though you lied to me about your identity for years and told me to let my master die.
SBPFAJBF: Damn boooo-ee, you gettin played! -bitch slap-
Anakin: Great mother of force! My senses have returned. I sure am glad someone got to me before I followed the ancient Sith tradition of dancing in a cocktail dress while Darth Sidious and Syfo Dias threw bar nuts at me!
Anakin: Yes Palpatine, I trust you even though you lied to me about your identity for years and told me to let my master die.
SBPFAJBF: Damn boooo-ee, you gettin played! -bitch slap-
Anakin: Great mother of force! My senses have returned. I sure am glad someone got to me before I followed the ancient Sith tradition of dancing in a cocktail dress while Darth Sidious and Syfo Dias threw bar nuts at me!
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I don't know about you but I have never advocated that homosexuals, for any reason, be cut out of their mother's womb and thrown into a bin.
#6
Posted 16 July 2005 - 02:59 PM
QUOTE (J m HofMarN @ Jul 16 2005, 10:00 AM)
It didn't need to be Qui Gon. It really could have been anyone. Palpatine's plan hinged on Anakin not having any sense at all. I like to imagine the scene with the sassy black person from a Jerry Bruckheimer film:
Anakin: Yes Palpatine, I trust you even though you lied to me about your identity for years and told me to let my master die.
SBPFAJBF: Damn boooo-ee, you gettin played! -bitch slap-
Anakin: Great mother of force! My senses have returned. I sure am glad someone got to me before I followed the ancient Sith tradition of dancing in a cocktail dress while Darth Sidious and Syfo Dias threw bar nuts at me!
Anakin: Yes Palpatine, I trust you even though you lied to me about your identity for years and told me to let my master die.
SBPFAJBF: Damn boooo-ee, you gettin played! -bitch slap-
Anakin: Great mother of force! My senses have returned. I sure am glad someone got to me before I followed the ancient Sith tradition of dancing in a cocktail dress while Darth Sidious and Syfo Dias threw bar nuts at me!
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