[darth_newmacer]

As part of my theoropy after seeing the peice of shit third installment of the six movies, I would like to get several things of my chest (much like Chefelf) in the form of listing all the things I hated about the six movies (mainly PT, well actually only the PT)
I encourage evrybody to do the same on this forum as well..
Here we go:

Episode I TPM:
1. Freaking Naboo, what the hell, is Alderaan not good enough!
2. Those Asian son of a bitch Trade Federation idiots!
3. (In general) All the stupid bad guys in the PT! (Maul, his role was useless, Dooku, he had so many freaking ass names, and Greivous, HOLY SHIT, a let down by all means!)
4. JAR JAR ass-wipe BINKS, holy shit! No more comments on this subject...
5. GUNGANS IN GENERAL (Boss Nass, I'm talking to you!)
6. Little Anni (or should I call him Lord Vader! I can never tell when he's gonna crush my neck or be as cute as a button!)
7. QUI-GON! I love him, but hell, why put him in there, really?
8. Anni and Padme scenes ( ALL OF THEM!!)
9. C3-PO!!!!
10. THE DUMBASS JEDI COUNCIL ( really only in this movie do we say dumb-looking council members, in the other movies, they're just plain dumb! YADDLE DAMNIT!)
11. GUNGAN BATTLE ( did I already mention this?)
12. SPACE BATTLE (with cute little Lord Vader, the dark lord of the Sith)
13. OBI-APPRENTICE-WAN kills Maul, who in fact killed his more expirienced master!
14. The end scene...

Episode 2 AOTC:
1. Why the hell is there a body guard, and why does the ship blow up on the landing station!??
2. CG YODA, yes it came to this, now everything in the movie must be CG ( in the next movie it's Mace Windu, which explains all the stiffness!)
3. Can Count Dooku (or Darth Tyrannus, I can never tell...) Be the Bad-Guy in the movie.. The Jedi say no..but they're dumbasses, so...
4. THE WHOLE DUMB MYSTERY!!! You know it's Dooku before you walk into the theater damnit!!
5. Look, there's Lord Vader in PUBERTY, HOLY HELL he's turned into a bitch ass!! I hate you Obi-Wan, but you're like my father, and I'm horrible to watch on screen!
6. Jango Fett..( the worst Bounty Hunter ever, Fett decides I'm gonna hire another bounty hunter to do my own work and screw up for no reason because Lucas wrote the script and he's a jackass..)
7. THE OTHER BOUNTY HUNTER ( the damn changer-shit one!!)
8.SPEEDER CHASE
9.BAR SCENE!!
10. SCENE WHERE PADME IS LEFT WITH ANNAKIN ON HIS FIRST MISSION!! ( Great, I know where this is going...)
11. Little Jango ( or BOBA IS IT??) Lucas justs keeps on shitting ideas, doesn't he?
12. Little Jango in a ship
13. Little Jango flying in a ship with Papa Jango!
14. Count Dooku and his evil Asian Friends, who apparently have lost the accent due to speech classes with Dooku, have the little meeting with a group of stupid-looking minions!! HOLY SHIT BATMAN, its movie shit being made!!
15. The fact that Anakin's mother re-married, AND IS IN THIS MOVE!!!
16. ANAKIN'S EVIL, OH WAIT WE DON'T GET TO SEE VADER UNTIL LUCAS COUGHS UP ANOTHER ONE OF THESE, DAMN!!
17. C3-F@#KING-PO HOLY SHIT!!!
18. If I already didn't mention this, EVERY PADME-ANAKIN SCENE. there now I said it...
19. The scene where they're gonna be gobbled up by the CG!!! OH MY!!
20. The final Boss fight, I mean, The Darth Tyrannus ( or is it, Count Dooku) v. Obi-Wan and Anni.... As usual arm lossage count after this one= 1 arm!
21. YODA FIGHTING ( great Lucas!!! NO Yoda has turned from wise and noble, to Lucasfilm shit-load straight from the master of shit himself LUCAS!!! DAMN IT!!)
22. YODA FIGHTING
23. YODA STILL FU@#ING FIGHTING!!!
24. I'm calm... Jango Clones... Great one million Jangos(Bobas) Just what we need...
25. Last but not least, the fact that I gotta see probably another piece of shit like this...

Episode 3 ROTS:
(Reminder* This is probably the best of all three, so...)

1. PADME-ANNI Scenes..
2. I'm pregnant Anni, but I'm not showing, well not yet...
3. Anni still whines like a little bitch ( This is not fair!! (Pouty face..))
4. CHEW-FUC@ING-BACCA (Why Lucas, you asshole, must you insist on shit like this.......................?)
5. WOOKIES( only in this move, only in this scenerio, only Lucas could possibly fu@# this up, and he did, he really did..)
6. HOLY SHIT, GREIVOUS IS A TOTAL PUSSY/VERGING ON JAR JAR BINKS USELESS CHARACTER IN THIS MOVIE!!!!
7. Dooku dies within the first eight freaking minutes...
8. The whole turning of Anakin to the dark side, very.... BAD!
9. PADME DIES, WHY? OH BECAUSE SHE LOST THE WILL TO LIVE ( screw you Lucas!!!)
10. Must we really see inside Vader's mask.. Well if you insist...
11. The fact that this wasn't as bad as the rest, yet people said on some place they though this movie was as good as ESB or ANH... I'm gonna block that out...

Episode 4 ANH ... YES :
1. NO BEEFS, unless you count the special editions of the movies, then they start like:
a. Greedo shotting first.
b. CG Jabba
THATS ALL FOLKS!!!

Episode 5 ESB .. It's Great!!:
1. Just one please.... The kiss... Leia and Luke.. I mean if they weren't revealed to be twins (DAMN YOU LUCAS) , then maybe... Oh well..

And now back to almost crapt...

Episode 6 ROTJ:
1. The entire part with them saving Han up to where Luke goes to Yoda...
2. Yoda is like... DIFFERENT, I don't know...
3. LEIA IS LUKES SISTER!!!! Damn it George can't you just settle!
4. Obi-Wan's FU#@ING POINTS OF VIEW.... Damn it!
5. ENDOR.. ALL OF IT!!
6. EWOKS=GUNGANS=BAD IDEA!!!
7. The new and improved DEATH STAR!!!
8. LANDO MUST DIE!!
9. The ending, and the special edition part:
a. WHY THE FU#@ IS HAYDEN THERE WITH ALEC GUINESS AND FU#@ING PUPPET YODA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FU@# YOU LUCAS YOU SHITHEAD!!!!!

There it is.. Please list yours, I'll Be gald to read them...

[SithAvenger]

6. HOLY SHIT, GREIVOUS IS A TOTAL PUSSY/VERGING ON JAR JAR BINKS USELESS CHARACTER IN THIS MOVIE!!!!

You have made a great mistake by writing that....

[darth_newmacer]

SithAvenger, what I meant by that statement was just that the audience would think that of Greivous because of the way he is portrayed. He is always fleeing, and much like Maul gets very little screen time in my opinion. I have seen Clone wars, and in those episodes, he's a bad ass! But in the movie, you gotta say... He was sub-par.

[Hari Seldon]

SithAvenger, what I meant by that statement was just that the audience would think that of Greivous because of the way he is portrayed. He is always fleeing, and much like Maul gets very little screen time in my opinion. I have seen Clone wars, and in those episodes, he's a bad ass! But in the movie, you gotta say... He was sub-par.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I never saw those cartoons...
And he wasn't sub-par, he was utterly useless (with a cough).

[SithAvenger]

Yeah.I agree with everyone that he was horrible in the movie. Grievous had the great artwork, the great cartoon, the great toys and then Lucas ruins him! I hate him for that!

[Darth Player]

I'll stick with one thing per movie:

TPM: Darth Maul slashes the floor of the shaft sending sparks down on Obi Wan instead of taking a position like he did with Qui Gon and kill him. The arrogant bastard revels in the moment and then has the stupid look when he gets cut in half, a fate he easily could have avoided if he didn't get the tattoos inside his brain as well.

ATOC: The arena scene when Padme says "since I've met you, I've been dying a little bit each day" a complete rip off of Gladiator showing Lucas' inability to be creative. And I don't know what the hell that lie's about anyhow.

ROTS: "Goodbye, Chewbacca, I'll miss you...." says Yoda who made me realize that the PY makes you lose all respect for every character you liked in the OT and the new ones intruduced in the PT aren't likeable in any form. Then the portopotty spaceship takes off to go to the asteroid mining place where the workers just stare at the ships landing.

[Otal Nimrodi]

Episode I TPM:
1. Freaking Naboo, what the hell, is Alderaan not good enough!
2. Those Asian son of a bitch Trade Federation idiots!
3. (In general) All the stupid bad guys in the PT! (Maul, his role was useless, Dooku, he had so many freaking ass names, and Greivous, HOLY SHIT, a let down by all means!)
4. JAR JAR ass-wipe BINKS, holy shit! No more comments on this subject...
5. GUNGANS IN GENERAL (Boss Nass, I'm talking to you!)
6. Little Anni (or should I call him Lord Vader! I can never tell when he's gonna crush my neck or be as cute as a button!)
7. QUI-GON! I love him, but hell, why put him in there, really?
8. Anni and Padme scenes ( ALL OF THEM!!)
9. C3-PO!!!!
10. THE DUMBASS JEDI COUNCIL ( really only in this movie do we say dumb-looking council members, in the other movies, they're just plain dumb! YADDLE DAMNIT!)
11. GUNGAN BATTLE ( did I already mention this?)
12. SPACE BATTLE (with cute little Lord Vader, the dark lord of the Sith)
13. OBI-APPRENTICE-WAN kills Maul, who in fact killed his more expirienced master!
14. The end scene...

I will systematically rebuke all of those statements. Not that I don't agree, I just feel like it, and that was the only movie I remember well enough to talk about.

1. I liked Naboo. I think that people should admit that there are more than a few planets.

2. That sounded racist. I thought they were french.

3. I will say why I liked all those guys

Maul: I haven't figured out how he glued those sabers together and made them turn on with one button, but I think he deserves credit for that

Dooku: Dooku was pretty cool. He got to be a Count. And those are cool by association with vampires. Also, he may have been old for a sith, but he was cool. Many names isn't a reason not to like someone.

Grievous: Cool name. And he got to wield lightsabers without being a jedi or a sith.
Plus he's a robot.

Jar-Jar: I thought Jar-Jar brought much needed comic relief. The thought of the cute little kid someday murdering innocents needed to be offset by humor. He may have been a little extreme, but without him, I would have become depressed.

Gungans in general: Nass is the one you made the comment towards, so I willl discuss him. While Jar-Jar is easily disliked, Nass you seem to only dislike by association.

Little Ani: Little Ani wasn't necessary in my opinion, but I will say this. I always wondered about Vader's youth, and here it is. People hate him saying "Yippie!" but I think it was justifiable at the time.

Qui-Gon: Well, who do you think trained Obi-Wan? A piece of rotten lettuce?

Ani-Padme scenes: Now you know as well as I that a we needed some foreshadowing.

C3-PO: I did think his role in the movie was not as well done as it could be. He should have had Jar-Jar's role.

Gungan battle: We heard the whole movie that Gungans were warriors, but where was the proof? Well, there it id.

Jedi Council: They were cool. I mean, they may not have been on the ball all the time, but visions of the future manifest themselves in dream, which reveal the subconcious, so the impending doom was subconsciously affecting them.

Space Battle: If he was a great pilot, we needed proof. To his credit, GL realised tthat people would complain that they didn't get enough lightsaber fighting if he put a big battle in the later ones.

OBI WAN KILLS MAUL! Maul wasn't expecting anything to happen, so why would he be worried? He was about to kill the guy! He got a bit cocky.

The end scene: The end scene was hard to come up with a good reason for, but here goes. They needed to show that the Gungans were finally allied with the Nabooians. This was the best way to show it.

[Patrick Bateman]

The trade federation guys were callbacks to old hollywood stereotypes of evil manipulative untrustworty 'oriental'. All they need were fu-manchu mustaches

The guy who ownec Annakin -can't remember his name I have wiped as much of this shit from my mind as is possible with booze - is evil, cheap and has a loooong hooook nose. Hmmmmmmmmmm anyone read Mein Kamf, I think George has.

Jar Jar has a fucken Jamican/house-slave accent, walks with a lope and runs from any danger. He is right out of Birth of a Nation, a film that revived the KKK

How on earth George was able to be so blatantly offensive is beyond me. Thinking of which, doesn't it strike anyone else as odd that it took two movies before any black people existed in the universe and then it's a guy who betrayed Han Solo.

Damn it George...

[SithAvenger]

Qui-Gon: Well, who do you think trained Obi-Wan? A piece of rotten lettuce?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I always thought Obi-Wan was trained by Yoda....

[Patrick Bateman]

Yoda was trained by the midis ... so technically Obi was trained by the midis so technically Luke was trained by Yoda who was a father figure so in some ways Darth was not only Lukes Dad and Leia's Aunty which makes the L and L near kiss more disturbing (unless there were second cousins in which case it's decidedly hot)

[Despondent]

Decidedly.


Maybe they made out and we never knew?

Leia gives birth to the child of her and her brother while Han is frozen in carbonite. The love child, spawn of forced love can't be killed and the third trilogy revolves around the tragedy of Darth Damien.


(no wonder she grimaced so when Luke told her in JEDI. Lucas, you stupid genius!)

This post has been edited by Despondent: 09 July 2005 - 03:45 PM

[Patrick Bateman]

Yesss yes yes yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That explains soooooooooooo much

[showmethemoney]

I will systematically rebuke all those rebukes.

Quote

1. I liked Naboo. I think that people should admit that there are more than a few planets.

This is only an example of what a stupid planet is. how the humans don't know a shit about the Gungans untill the arrival of the jedis?
the center core is made of water? Nonsense.

Quote

2. That sounded racist. I thought they were french.

Choose your race to hate.

QUOTE]
3. I will say why I liked all those guys

Maul: I haven't figured out how he glued those sabers together and made them turn on with one button, but I think he deserves credit for that[/QUOTE]

i'll give him the credit, he just didn't got time to learn how to use it properly.

Quote

Dooku: Dooku was pretty cool. He got to be a Count. And those are cool by association with vampires. Also, he may have been old for a sith, but he was cool. Many names isn't a reason not to like someone.

Darth Tirannus is a name to hate for sure.

Quote

Grievous: Cool name. And he got to wield lightsabers without being a jedi or a sith.
Plus he's a robot.

Plus he's a coward.
Plus he use a cape.
Plus he ride a monocicle.
Plus he go with his chest uncovered so anybody can kill him easily.
Plus he got four sabers and loose anyway.

Quote

Jar-Jar: I thought Jar-Jar brought much needed comic relief. The thought of the cute little kid someday murdering innocents needed to be offset by humor. He may have been a little extreme, but without him, I would have become depressed.

We are all depressed bicouse of Jar-jar.

Quote

Gungans in general: Nass is the one you made the comment towards, so I willl discuss him. While Jar-Jar is easily disliked, Nass you seem to only dislike by association.

We are all depressed bicouse of Nass.

Quote

Little Ani: Little Ani wasn't necessary in my opinion, but I will say this. I always wondered about Vader's youth, and here it is. People hate him saying "Yippie!" but I think it was justifiable at the time.

Of course is justifiable, the kid is an obnoxious brat!

Quote

Qui-Gon: Well, who do you think trained Obi-Wan? A piece of rotten lettuce?

Everybody thougth Yoda did. Or a piece of rotten lettuce.

Quote

Ani-Padme scenes: Now you know as well as I that a we needed some foreshadowing.

Then we could all have avoid to see this movies!

Quote

C3-PO: I did think his role in the movie was not as well done as it could be. He should have had Jar-Jar's role.

And then take the blame for depress us all.

Gungan battle: We heard the whole movie that Gungans were warriors, but where was the proof? Well, there it id.

That only proove they were stupid cartoons.

Jedi Council: They were cool. I mean, they may not have been on the ball all the time, but visions of the future manifest themselves in dream, which reveal the subconcious, so the impending doom was subconsciously affecting them.

It looks that same impending doom is subconsciously affecting you.
how are they cool? The way they sit in that retro-designed chears?

Space Battle: If he was a great pilot, we needed proof. To his credit, GL realised tthat people would complain that they didn't get enough lightsaber fighting if he put a big battle in the later ones.

Not to his credit, he forgot all the other complains, the important ones.
And we ask for good and meaningfull battles, not endless and boring ones.

OBI WAN KILLS MAUL! Maul wasn't expecting anything to happen, so why would he be worried? He was about to kill the guy! He got a bit cocky.

Cocky in a Sith is stupid. In a jedi too, and they are all both.

The end scene: The end scene was hard to come up with a good reason for, but here goes. They needed to show that the Gungans were finally allied with the Nabooians. This was the best way to show it.

The worst way.
The best way: Anyone but an idiotic party, even a handshake would do it better.

[Otal Nimrodi]

Hey, I agreed with them all. I just was very, very bored. In fact, I was attempting, but apparently failing, to parody those annoying fanboys.

This post has been edited by Otal Nimrodi: 09 July 2005 - 08:24 PM

[Patrick Bateman]

Otal, you are my new God. By the way who is that picture of? It reminds me of a very thin version of Sam Rockwell. Whoever it is he is retro kick arse.