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Turn Turn Turn Alternate Scene in ROTJ

#1 User is offline   Darth Player Icon

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Posted 29 June 2005 - 10:58 PM

We join the action in progress:

"We have to retreat! We cannot stand long against the full power of that battlestation, General Calrassin!" said Admiral Ackbar

"Han needs more time, go after those cruisers, we may take some with us and we'll last longer than we will against that Death Star!" replied Lando.

Inside the Emperor's chamber, high aloft the Death Star II's surface, the Emperor prods young Luke Skywalker, stating that the Rebel fleet is lost, and that his firends on the forest moon will not survive...."

Luke was in agony, as he felt the agonies of his comrades in pain and dying on Endor and in space, waging a hopeless battle against the Imperial fleet.

JUst then, an A-Wing fighter careened out of control and hit the side of the Death Star. Its shields detonated the craft easily away and into a million shards of metal, not doing any harm to the station or its occupants. Still, through the force, Luke detected that the crash and large, bright explosion unsettled Vader and the Emperor, if only for a moment.

The explosion on the station's shields temporarily caused a micro surge aboard the station, which was recharging for another laser volley against another Mon Calarmi cruiser. The expenditure of the laser beam and the A-Wing's crash soon after temporarily overleaded the power supply, if only for an instant. The massive mainframe computer quickly compensated for this error, and rewrote programming code instataniously so the error never occurred again.

Still, the micro surge routed power to the Emperor's throne room chair and rebooted his personal file library, which was cycling to restore itself as the Emperor tempted Luke to turn to the Dark Side. The Emperor beckoned Luke to attack him, for he was unarmed. At that time, a beam emitted itself from the center of the Emperor's throne room and as Luke turned to look at it he saw a most wonderous recording of a water opera take room and play its course. With that, Luke quickly grabbed his lightsaber using the Force and decapitated Lord Vader, who was once his father, Anakin Skywalker before his turn to the Dark Side. Vader was mesmerized by the old program, which made him recall a time when he was more of a whole man, when he was in conflict, when he was alive. He didn't sense his son's imminent and lethal attack.
The Emperor was in a state of surprised shock, and as his smile grew and stood before a now kneeling Luke Skywalker to confer the title of Darth Wroughtious, he had to ask what it was that made him so easy a convert to the Dark Side of the Force and its newest Sith Lord. The Emperor had expected a long, frawn out and personally dangerous fight for young Skywalker's destiny.
"Easy..." replied Wroughtious, he loved Water Opera. He grew up on a barren, desert world with a hardass of an uncle pushing him around, exploiting his labors so he could sit around the Lars homestead and drink (water) all day long, then complain that Luke wasn't working hard enough to make a more satisfactory product. His intergalactic lactose intollerance wasn't helped with his Aunt Beru's insistance he drink awful blueish milk all the live long day. either.
And besides, he really loved Water Opera.
The Rebel fleet would soon quickly capitulate as the Death Star was finished to a giant sling shot that fired Ewok and Gungan instead of laser beam out of the galaxy like the giant rail gun in space it was.
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#2 User is offline   Revan-47 Icon

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Posted 30 June 2005 - 11:37 AM

Thats really strange. but really awsome. nice job. biggrin.gif
"Life is too important to be taken seriously."
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#3 User is offline   Otal Nimrodi Icon

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Posted 03 July 2005 - 01:51 PM

Hilarious.
Want a Tarot reading?

PM me, we'll talk.
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